Jul 23 2008Guess What! There's This Now: 'Anaconda 3: The Offspring'
It's almost magical how they've managed to condense the entire essence of what it is to be a Sci-Fi Channel Original Movie in under ten seconds, and how that magic is strangely heightened by the Davidhasselhoffonline.com watermark obscuring the shoddy CGI and "of course you're in Anaconda 3" actors.
It's going to be really sad when John Rhys-Davies dies and his awards show tribute clips will be Indiana Jones, Lord of the Rings, then a bunch of crap like this.*
*Such as Anaconda 4: Trail of Blood, currently in post-production.
Reader Comments
1. fightingfrodo - July 23, 2008 4:00 PM
I kinda liked the first two as far as B-movies go. This is just sad tho. I'll probably still watch it tho.
2. timbuck - July 23, 2008 4:20 PM
The best part of John Rhys-Davies' career is actually Sliders.
3. ANGRY BROOMSTICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - July 23, 2008 4:59 PM
Anaconda=one of the worst movies of all time
4. Adam - July 23, 2008 5:25 PM
Don't forget, John Rhys-Davies was The Kingpin in a TV movie for the Incredible Hulk. This looks terrible. Even Lake Placid 2 looked better than this.
5. Lisa - July 23, 2008 5:30 PM
You beat me to it, timbuck! He will always be the professor to me.
6. leng - July 23, 2008 8:02 PM
she is so beautiful.. but someone said she joined the famous online service @@@★★★www.S u g a r d a d d y C o n n e c t. c o m★★★@@@a place for rich men to spoil and support sexy women..
7. Count Drunkula - July 24, 2008 1:12 AM
"Eet wraps eetz COILS around yooo... .TIGHTAH zan anny luvvah. "
[seeing the anaconda] "Buenos noches, beautiful. "
The best part about Anaconda was Jon Voight delivering retarded lines with that weird accent he was trying to pull off. Who the fuck does he think he is?
8. http://webescape.wordpress.com/ - July 24, 2008 8:45 AM
Amazed there was even one of these movies, but I'd still watch the Hoff cos he's so bad he's genius.
9. momboelitist - July 24, 2008 12:24 PM
You can't not like the Hoff just because he's a nice guy.
10. Stuey - July 24, 2008 1:56 PM
There will only be one movie worth while with abnormally large animals and that is Jaws.
all the rest are just trying to be that