May 11, 2008 - May 17, 2008 Archives
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I think we all have a goat or two we'd like to teach lesson or two. I know I'd personally love to murder a few of those idiot fainting goats--that'd show them. But there's always the one nagging problem in my plan: evidence! If only there were a way to kill the f***ers with onl... / Continue →
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If the above, heavily-lipped, bespectacled child looks more than a little bit like Dwight Schrute of The Office, that's because it is. Just as Growing Pains opened with actual young shots of the cast under the crooning vocals of B.J. Thomas and Dusty Springfield, The Rocker has... / Continue →
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Collider has an early review of M. Night Shyamalan's The Happening, and from the sounds of it, it's come time we stop taking this guy's calls. Here's a sampling: "The Happening" is a terrible, terrible movie. I mean, it's bad on an epic scale. It's so bad that I can't possibly... / Continue →
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With all the blockbuster comic book adaptations coming out this summer, it's easy to forget that there are some other, more negligible superhero movies coming up. Like Punisher, for instance--a character known for meticulously shooting his logo into metal surfaces. He possesses... / Continue →
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To all those Twilight fans who worried that Edward's numerous and varied stares had been completely exhausted in the teaser trailer, I bring good news. There are many more.... / Continue →
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Actually, I do believe he's the good guy. After seeing an entire movie based around this character, I was left utterly convinced he was, in fact, the good guy. And after seeing five Batman movies, I'm starting to get an inkling that this character dressed as a bat, however dark... / Continue →
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The problem with American-made underground bunker cities is that the generators always seem to die after a couple hundred years. Unfortunately, it looks like it's about that time for Ember--a city whose only source of electricity comes from a failing hydroelectric unit--when a ... / Continue →
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As any Lost fan will tell you, both the fun and the frustration of a J.J. Abrams production is that practically every image and symbol is full of hidden meaning. But these meanings can be difficult to decipher, and who has the time? Thus, as a public service, I've taken the tim... / Continue →
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Gillian Anderson and Animated Wax Figure of David Duchovney promote The X-Files: I Want to Believe the only way that makes sense: yet another scene of trudging through some sort of tundra. Seriously, I get that they're searching for something in the snow. Every trailer and post... / Continue →
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Dear god. Every time I make painful eye contact with anyone on this poster, it feels like they're shooting beams of pure obnoxiousness straight into my head. Except Jessica Alba, of course--her eyes are still as empty and lifeless as her performances. But she sure is pretty! T... / Continue →
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For once you'll be able to get a Goosebumps tale without ordering it from a flimsy catalog at school and waiting a week: Columbia Pictures has acquired the rights to bring the young-adult series to theaters! Producers say the "time is ripe" to bring the books to screens, claimi... / Continue →
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To make a successful, gratifying sequel to any movie, you only really need two elements at work: the original screenwriter and a really kick-ass title. The planned sequel to 1991's Point Break, Point Break: Indo (nesia?) has both those things, so it will clearly be an amazing e... / Continue →
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Huge news about the Magneto origin movie... there might be another character from the X-Men universe in it! Crazy, right? The story goes like this: Someone from Latino Review was visiting Hellboy II's creature effects shop when they noticed a photo of a furry, blue gentleman wi... / Continue →
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Though I don't personally know any, I assume there are 21 Jump Street fans still in existence. They probably have forums where they debate which season has the best public service announcements, when "Jump" jumped the shark (when Johnny Depp left, probably), and share photos of... / Continue →
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For too long the bigwigs down at TV-Loonland have kept their puffy, white-gloved hands clenched in tight, wacky fists around the Sunbow Cartoon library, keeping it from the rightful owners, the kindly old toymakers at Hasbro. No longer! Hasbro announced today that the company h... / Continue →
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When the new Hulk movie was announced, it was emphasized that this was a reboot of the franchise. Forget the Ang Lee Hulk; this is all new, by someone less respected than Ang Lee. So why is this new trailer stressing that this is the return of the "most powerful superhero on Ea... / Continue →
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"Because you were home" seems like a pretty loose reason to kill. Here are some other nearly-as-arbitrary reasons the strangers might murder you: - Because we live below you, and you were playing Dance Dance Revolution all night. - Because you've been sitting on our Facebook ... / Continue →
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I just read Michael Moore is planning a sequel to Fahrenheit 9/11, his 2004 documentary on the events of September 11. It got me thinking... what might this be about, since there was no sequel to 9/11. So what does he know that we don't? You just jumped right to the top of my t... / Continue →
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1. It's not called Surfer Dude, as I previously thought; it's called Surfer, Dude. Like the surfer dude is addressing someone, presumably a dude, and saying "surfer" for some reason. 2. Matthew McConaughey is not just the Surfer, Dude star--he's also the Surfer, Dude producer.... / Continue →
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A Fraggle Rock movie is not inherently a bad idea. The characters are varied and lovable, it tells a fairly complex story of inter-species relationships, and there is definitely potential to make something that would attract both new fans and the old ones who had parents rich e... / Continue →
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Like a primetime soap opera nearing sweeps, Woody Allen's latest, Vicky Cristy Barcelona, is full of torrid affairs and girl-on-girl kissing, and he's not above exclusively promoting those aspects in the new trailer. Thankfully, unlike a primetime soap, you won't feel that path... / Continue →
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Ricky Gervais's This Side of the Truth production blog has quickly become the standard by which I'm judging all other production blogs (besides Aaron's uniquely retarded Street Fighter blog, of course). Focusing on his mock disrespect and Nerf gun assaults of his co-stars, Gerv... / Continue →
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As mentioned yesterday, Richard Kelly's cult hit Donnie Darko has managed to infect many a college campus movie night with its particular brand of "that shit's f***ed up, man." But that's not enough for him. How can he get to those few remaining hold-outs that "don't get it"? W... / Continue →
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How adorable is Audrey Tautou as a youngish Coco Chanel? Cuter than everything? Except for Amelie, yes---and I don't just say that because I have a strange, repressed, Reservoir Dogs fetish. It's because Audrey Tautou is cuteness in its pure, synthesized form: a raw rock of pup... / Continue →
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Admittedly, I've never read Will Eisner's The Spirit, so someone will have to tell me: is Spirit's arch-nemesis The Octopus like a '70s pimp with Mickey Mouse's hands or an eccentric grandma who you pray will never pick you up from school? Whichever the case, hopefully he also ... / Continue →
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I really want to believe, but it's getting hard when every preview I see is just more of Billy Connolly running through snow. It feels more like a sequel to the Head of the Class Russian field trip than The X-Files. When fans have been waiting a decade for the reunion of Mulder... / Continue →
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At first glance, this looks like a standard, American Beauty-esque average-guy-on-the-edge story set to a Jon Brion score. But then you notice it stars Zach Galifianakis and Judy Greer, deals with the issue of people spontaneously exploding, hints at possible George Washington ... / Continue →
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1. Iron Man - Neither Speed nor Kutch could topple this giant, which still managed a $50.5 million weekend. They must not know Iron Man's weakness: magic rings or something, maybe? 2. Speed Racer - $20.2 million, all to find out what it's like to be stabbed in the eyes with a ... / Continue →
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Whenever I get a lot of emails on one subject, it inevitably means something surprisingly great or incredibly, tragically awful has happened. So when emails regarding a Donnie Darko sequel started rushing in, I assumed it was the prior: eager fans of the cult film alerting me t... / Continue →
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When a live-action adaptation of the fight-centric anime Dragonball was announced, there were some concerns. Was there enough hair product on real, non-anime Earth to support Goku's ridiculous coiffure? Would fans get too upset if the character's orange gi were replaced with a ... / Continue →
