Feb 20 2008Universal, Hasbro Announce Bad Idea Partnership
Universal Pictures and Hasbro have announced a six-year partnership that will produce at least four films based on the following games: Monopoly, Candy Land, Ouija, Battleship, Magic: The Gathering, and Stretch Armstrong. Aside from Ridely Scott's inexplicable involvement in the Monopoly project, very little is known about how the properties would be developed into feature films. So how about I pitch some ideas?
Ouija - A group of gullible teenagers attribute a string of recent murders to a ghost, only to find out it was just their asshole friend doing it. (Note: This should be made in Asia first, then remade here.)
Clue - A wealthy mansion-owner invites a group of similarly affluent guests over to watch Clue.
Battleship - A hotshot naval commander attempts a daring new formation of lining up his fleet in a row along the border. This fails, but the young leader still finds victory after the enemy can't find his fucking destroyer.
Monopoly - A light-hearted gathering erupts in argument; the film ends abruptly.
Stretch Armstrong - This movie (and toy) should never be made, but will star Jim Carrey and a lot of low-budget CGI.
Candy Land - A band of outcast teenagers find themselves in a colorful, candy-coated world where their movements are dictated by color. It turns out they're just really, really high.
Magic: The Gathering - An exciting battle between a powerful orc shaman and a dwarf paladin suddenly becomes dull when someone realizes it's a card game.
Any other/better ideas? It seems like the Magic movie should work in woeful virginity, but I'm not sure how.
Universal rolls dice with Hasbro [Variety]
Reader Comments
1. whistle - February 20, 2008 4:32 PM
Damn that Monopoly bit good...
2. Matt - February 20, 2008 4:50 PM
Monopoly - An entrepreneur's journey to the top crumbles when he's wrongfully accuse of a crime he did not commit and asked to go jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200. He spends his years trying to roll doubles while he watches his arch-rival consistently land on Free Parking and making a fortune. (Starring Richard Dreyfus and Bill Paxton)
3. Jumpin_J - February 20, 2008 5:17 PM
Didn't these boneheads remember that Clue was already done? HELLO????
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088930/
4. blah - February 20, 2008 5:26 PM
The monopoly movie will never get made. Casting agents can't decide to go with thimble, or just ride it out with the sportscar. As long as they don't go wheelbarrow, I think we all win here.
5. silverdollar - February 20, 2008 6:05 PM
haha your candyland plot could be pretty entertaining.
6. wendy - February 20, 2008 7:16 PM
#3, he did say "get together and watch clue."
7. cam - February 20, 2008 10:06 PM
what about hungry hungry hippos? drop a bunch of m & m's on the set floor of "the view" and watch the ladies go. the battle's a bit more even now that rosie's gone.
8. please - February 20, 2008 10:56 PM
there already is an asian ouija movie
9. shrighremienton - February 21, 2008 12:20 AM
That has to be the funniest post I've read in a while!
10. TetterkeT - February 21, 2008 2:24 AM
Is Michael Bay available to direct? Because there are still a few things from my childhood that I still hold near and dear that he hasn't chewed up, swallowed, and shit out. What about "SORRY!?" Can we make a movie about that?!
11. Bobeyo - February 21, 2008 9:06 AM
@7: LOL That was good enough to be in the original post.
12. wowza - February 22, 2008 2:14 AM
that was the funniest thing i've read all week.