I don't even know how to describe the painfulness of Mike Myers' The Love Guru trailer. "Austin Powers: new costume, same jokes" is appropriate, but doesn't really convey the way your brain shuts off around the point the midget jokes start (and never stop). At the same time, "brain Novocain in a sari" doesn't capture how sadly derivative it is, and omits the hilarity of the curly mustache. I guess the best I can do is "Mike Myers smothers your soul with the help of Jessica Alba, Justin Timberlake, prosthetic hair, midget jokes, and some penis references."
Dear god. Every time I make painful eye contact with anyone on this poster, it feels like they're shooting beams of pure obnoxiousness straight into my head. Except Jessica Alba, of course--her eyes are still as empty and lifeless as her performances. But she sure is pretty!
T... / Continue →
You've probably heard racist jokes about how the Chinese drop silverware to name their children, or have hilarious penis-length-implication names like Long Wang (if not, now you have, and you should try to meet more racists). But you don't know the whole story. Mike Myers has s... / Continue →
I know The Love Guru is loaded to capacity with classic physical comedy, hilarious hair appliances, both new and previously-seen midget jokes, and Justin Timberlake, but.... there's just something missing that's holding me back from being completely in love with this thing. May... / Continue →