Feb 8 2008Rob Zombie to Zombify Conan the Barbarian?
There was a time when Rob Zombie was content in making intolerable noise metal that served as a standardized test for identifying the troubled youths of middle school. They were happier times, when his pseudo-Satanic messages were streamed through headphones and black t-shirts, making them easy enough to ignore. Now, with Zombie intent on proving himself a serious director, it's becoming harder and harder to overlook his efforts at bringing the same mentality to screens, particularly with latest news that he's in talks to direct a Conan movie.
As much of my brain as his lazy Halloween remake killed, certain regions still function, and I couldn't help but ponder what Rob Zombie's Conan the Barbarian might be like. Then, magically, my vision somehow manifested itself on YouTube. I think it will be just like that, except with Tyler Bane as Conan, and probably with some white trash rape.
Rob Zombie to Conquer an Empire [Bloody Disgusting]
Reader Comments
1. Grace - February 8, 2008 3:22 PM
If he directs Conan, will the movie have 5 endings like every other Zombie movie?
2. JMlane - February 8, 2008 5:38 PM
Conan the Barbarian is a total piece of crap franchise anyway, RZ could take it nowhere but up.
I love hearing people piss and moan about halloween...so what if it sucked, it was still light years better than every single iteration of the franchise since the original. Halloween as a franchise, a story and an idea has been total garbage for the last 25 years.
At the very least, at least Zombie has TOUCHED the last few years worth of Conan comics which are the only saving grace of the entire affair. Any other director they might tap probably has no idea Conan was a fantasy and comic book character in the first place.
3. blah - February 9, 2008 3:04 PM
I eagerly await Rob Zombie Presents; Rob Zombie's Remake of Rob Zombie's Halloween. (with bonus inverted colors in ever scene)
4. Bo Babbyo - February 9, 2008 7:03 PM
I'm there! All Conan to this point has been the worst kind of crap. They even loused up Red Sonja! So agree with the previous poster who said there's nowhere to go but up. DEVIL'S REJECTS made a stapler look like a scary weapon. Lord knows what that boy will do with broadswords.
5. Bobeyo - February 10, 2008 9:11 AM
Although all of the sequels and spinoffs were pure crap, I rather liked the original Conan, in an odd sort of way, and I'd prefer to see it left alone, thank you very much. Especially if it ends up as some dark, freakish, nonsensical modern trash along the lines of Pathfinder.
Oh, and the guy's name is Tyler Mane, not Bane.
6. Chad dixon - February 10, 2008 7:57 PM
Conan is the shit go Rob and make another classic.