Feb 20 2008Let's Hope You Like 'Witless Protection' Clips As Much As I do
I think I've become obsessed with Larry Cable Guy's Witless Protection. For some reason, and despite any outside encouragement (outside of the echoing laughter from our nation's small town bars), I can't help but follow the adventures of this sleeveless buffoon. So I don't know if it was the idea of knowing the enemy, the sick self-empowerment I derive from intense hatred, or just pure self-loathing that led me to watch another clip from the film, but I did. And it was awful.
I don't expect anyone else to subject themselves to such blue collared misery, but if you do, try your best to answer some of my earnest questions.
1. Does Larry Cable Guy have a new catchphrase, or was "Boy, it's a good'n!" created exclusively for this clip to hurl me into abject rage?
2. Hasn't this "beat someone up to prove they're dead when they actually aren't" joke been done in a Naked Gun or something before (albeit with fewer undertones of spousal abuse)?
3. Why does LCG continue to talk to her as if she's unconscious when she's obviously waving her fingers in his face?
4. Why is Larry Cable Guy wearing a comedic tuxedo t-shirt, rather than an actual tuxedo, to a funeral? Answered: Larry Cable Guy is funny.
Exclusive Witless Protection Clip [Coming Soon]
Reader Comments
1. TetraShiva - February 20, 2008 3:54 PM
I swear, in the first few seconds of the clip, you can see he's not fully in character. You can almost see the thought process behind his eyes of, "Damn it, I am sick of this character. Isn't there another way I can get blow and hookers?"
I'm sorry Larry, there isn't. Don't we wish there was though, for all our good.
2. emily - February 20, 2008 6:29 PM
Oh, Peter Stormare deserves so much better. So does America.
3. steveo - February 21, 2008 9:11 AM
in 2006, Alan Greenspan, former Chief of the Fed and arguably the most powerful man in global finance, made $180,000 as a government employee.
in 2006, Larry the Cable Guy made $21,000,000.
I rest my case.
4. Jenny - February 21, 2008 10:45 AM
Steveo- you made me cry. Bastard. And I'm all for mentally challenged people getting work, but this is going too far. Larry The Douche can suck it.
5. birdene - February 21, 2008 12:00 PM
Aaaaagh that clip hurts my brain. More sorely because I grew up with a town of these dolts in Bakersfield. Runaway..fast.
6. Non - February 22, 2008 7:19 AM
"and despite any outside encouragement (outside of the echoing laughter from our nation's small town bars), I can't help but..."
do you mean
"and despite having no encouragement (outside of the echoing laughter from our nation's small town bars), I can't help but..."
Your way makes absolutely no sense.