Jan 28 2008'Snow Buddies' Trailer Demands Wide Release
After watching this trailer, it's clear Disney is making a terrible, terrible mistake releasing Snow Buddies straight-to-DVD. Having let The Land Before Time XVII and Aladdin V slip between the fingers of our nation's cinemas, I can't let another masterpiece go unnoticed. The following is an open letter to Disney for the theatrical release of Snow Buddies. Hurry up and sign! (Through comments, I guess?)
Dear Disney...
I apologize for the tardiness of this plea, but it was only just exposed, as you describe it in the trailer, to "something incredible." I refer, of course, to Snow Buddies, the inspirational tale of a kid reading a story about a mythological arctic dog that talks, then praying for his own snow dogs, then getting an inexplicable of delivery of talking, costumed golden retrievers, then becoming the first boy to race the Iditarod using a team of puppies, and finally winning his father's reluctant love. With this letter, I ask that you release this miraculous film to theaters.
Snow Buddies really speaks to me and my BFFs, all of us part of the "Air Bud Generation" who have fervently longed for hyper-intelligent golden retrievers to compete in sporting events with us. With Snow Buddies you've given us not one but five ill-prepared yet delightfully-characterized dogs--one is apparently a cartoon football player, one has gangsta "bling", one has an ascot (the gay one), one is of an Eastern faith (Buddha), and a necessary girl (with a ribbon)--to drop from the sky and compete in a dangerous sled race. It is no overstatement to say that, to us, this is manna from puppy heaven.
Educated audiences appreciate a family movie that doesn't pander to them. Snow Buddies clearly does not, accurately demonstrating a child's ability to use arc welding to assemble his own sled (thankfully the dogs are wearing specially designed doggy welding goggles in that scene, or I'd be calling PETA on you guys!) and then beating adult Russians in a dog race, successfully defeating two of the most hated demographics of the '80s--those Cold War bastards and old people.
Thank you, Disney, for hearing me out, and for making quality family entertainment about competitive sentient pets. Please give this charming film the theatrical release it deserves.
Sincerely,
The General Public
Reader Comments
1. mgroves - January 28, 2008 2:11 PM
Dear Disney,
All of the above, not.
Love,
Matt
2. jed - January 28, 2008 2:13 PM
This would make a great title for my furry videos
3. Cody - January 28, 2008 2:20 PM
Are you in the running for "Most Sarcastic Blogger" award again? I mean, good lord, it's one thing to pretend that this movie would be good, but you really took sarcasm to new heights with that one!
4. Warren - January 28, 2008 3:07 PM
I'd argue this is less an extension of the "Air Bud" franchise, and more along the lines of "Homeward Bound 3: Snow Dogs 2"
5. DoggieFriend - January 28, 2008 3:49 PM
you know this is the movie where like 40 of the dogs were destroyed because the producers lied and got the dogs too young and they got parvo. so yeah let's help them make their money back.
bastards.
6. Margery Glickman - January 28, 2008 4:44 PM
Shame on Disney for again hyping the Iditarod. The race is terribly cruel to dogs. Here's a short list of what happens to the dogs during the Iditarod: death, paralysis, penile frostbite, bleeding ulcers, bloody diarrhea, lung damage, pneumonia, ruptured discs, viral diseases, broken bones, torn muscles and tendons, vomiting, hypothermia, sprains, fur loss, broken teeth, torn footpads and anemia.
7. Margery Glickman - January 28, 2008 4:46 PM
Iditarod facts: http://www.helpsleddogs.org
8. Bobeyo - January 28, 2008 5:16 PM
Hey, thanks for signing the petition, Margery! I totally agree with you... that this should be in theaters!
All joking aside, didn't they already make something like this? I swear I remember this movie about sled dogs who all have personalities with a black musher that I thought was from Disney... but whatever. I guess this one's the kids version.
9. Bobeyo - January 28, 2008 5:20 PM
I found it: it was called "Snow Dogs." Guess I was right.
10. 23apples - January 28, 2008 9:29 PM
#4 - agreed. I'm lovin' the threequel: sequel series mashup. It's an obvious winner we've got on our hands here, Disney is clearly making a mistake by sending it straight to DVD. Everyone loves talking puppies on a journey in the snow.
11. Kate - January 29, 2008 9:42 AM
...
What Faustian pact has Disney made with Satan in order to get producers to GREENLIGHT this shit?!!
12. Tony - January 30, 2008 10:59 AM
I know this is lame, but Disney has absolutely nothing to do with the Land Before Time. I'm surprised Anastasia wasn't worked in there too lol.
13. Turel Darcloak - February 1, 2008 3:06 AM
oops... the 2min mark ruins the ending. Oh well, I guess he wins and his father is proud of him. Shucks, I was really hoping to buy this too.
14. Tirit - July 17, 2008 6:09 PM
Actually Anastasia is NOT a disney movie..It is a FOX Movie. I dont know why everyone says its disney, look it up.