Jan 15 2008Smurfs To Become Less of a Smurfsage-Fest
When it was announced over a year ago that The Smurfs, would be adapted into a trilogy of feature films, it seemed inevitable that everyone's favorite blue misogynists would be facing an unwarranted update. But what? More three-dimensionally creepy? Backwards hats? References to SmurfTube? A sassy, midnight blue Smurf? Or could it just be, as this article claims, a less gender-biased society...
They will mark 50 years with a series of new comic adventures, statuettes, an exhibition at Brussels' cartoon museum, a set of commemorative stamps and, in a reflection of changing times, more females in their mushroom cottage village.
If studios are really set on recreating my childhood Saturday mornings, they need to at least start recognizing what concepts made it entertaining. Take The Flintstones. While seeing how a pelican or a mammoth could possibly be used in prehistoric household chores gave the show a fair share of its appeal, the blatantly-stolen Honeymooners dynamic is what gave it life. Update Fred to the politically correct, non-wife-abusing standards of today and you've lost your audience.
Similarly, what made The Smurfs stand out as anything other than a pack of small, shirtless mutants was their peculiar society: a living communist manifesto with one woman and precious few members reaching old age. I mean, did you realize Smurfette was originally created by Gargamel to disrupt the natural utopia created by their all-male society? (Shocking but true!) If anything, take this chauvinist idea and run with it--expose its flaws (reproduction issues, for one). But don't correct them. It's not that I don't want an equal society; I just don't want the Smurfs to have one. That's what makes them so smurfy.
Reader Comments
1. mgroves - January 15, 2008 4:40 PM
I agree, but I also welcome the possibilities of new Smurf slasher art.
2. sauce bag - January 16, 2008 12:14 AM
So do we really need 3 smurfin smurf movies??? how about we just make one and send it straight to DVD where it belongs...right next to any movie starring katie holmes, Ben Affleck, and heather graham...
http://ihatestarbucks.blogspot.com/
3. jezder - January 16, 2008 3:38 AM
I've always assumed that at some point all of the male smurfs (except the old one) went into some kind of vulcan-like time-of-mating frenzy and battled to the death until only one remained. This alpha male smurf would then mate with the female and she would give birth to new brood, including one new female, before dying in childbirth. The alpha male would then become the new "Pappa" smurf. It always seemed obvious to me. Just sayin.
4. MrGutts - January 16, 2008 9:06 AM
Hey now,
Don't be knocking my childhood cartoons! Go pick on the snorks or G-force or something like that..
5. The Moat - January 16, 2008 10:57 AM
@3
"This alpha male smurf would then mate with the female and she would give birth to new brood, including one new female, before dying in childbirth. The alpha male would then become the new "Pappa" smurf."'
That actually does make a scary amount of sense. It would exlain why all the smurfs (except for pappa) appeared to be the same age....
6. Connor - January 16, 2008 5:33 PM
This reminds me of Donnie Darko.
7. The Moat - January 17, 2008 10:00 AM
@7
Way to go. "Stature." Yeah. That's what we're all after... exactly the right height. Oh, and although personal tastes in height vary greatly, I'm sure you're just perfect for everybody.
Next time, if you really want to rake in the links, try something like "I'm not that hot, but I get really trashed off of like two beers and always put out."
That angle about looking for a man who likes sports was a nice touch, but you may want to expand on that and include other characteristics like being overweight, drinking too much and playing video games.
8. Stanley - January 17, 2008 1:38 PM
As a kid, I sometimes imagined capturing a smurf and submerging the bastard in a jar of honey. Then I'd stomp around the smurf village and destroy their obnoxious little mushroom houses.