Jan 10 2008Chipettes Joining Alvin, Chipmunks in Animated Evil Axis
For anyone who follows this blog with any regularity, you know that Alvin and the Chipmunks is a film I have given strict attention and focused disgust. The already-grating rodents have been made more annoying, strangely sexualized, devoid of charm, and, most catastrophically, more omnipresent than ever. (I'm aware this wasn't a movie being targeted to my demographic, but neither was the Holocaust, and I still vocally disapprove of that.)
Now, with the horror show nearly passing the $200 million mark at the box office, it was only a matter of time before the painful news of a sequel rose, and it's worse than I could have imagined: they're bringing in the Chipettes. Start the countdown until the poster of Brittany, Jeanette, and Eleanor dressed as fly girls.
“There has been a lot of talk about it,” revealed Janice Karman, one of the film’s producers. “A lot of people have been asking about the little girls.”
That's interesting that people asked that. See, if I'd actually spent money and watched Alvin and the Chipmunks, I don't think "where were the little girls?" would have been my first question. I'd have probably started with "what inspired the whole shit eating part?", "did you digitally erase Jason Lee's soul, or was that already gone when you started filming?", or maybe just "what the fuck?" I'd probably only get to the desire to double the number of chipmunks much later, when I realized I wanted to die.
So how about Parker Posey as the Chipettes' wrangler? Like Jason Lee, she really has that magical combination of Why Are You Here? and I Can Sort of See Why You're Here.
Reader Comments
1. The Moat - January 10, 2008 4:32 PM
Sweet. I dig chicks with a little hair on'em.
2. JustBuzzed - January 10, 2008 4:33 PM
Not gonna lie, if I were Jason Lee, I would sell out too. It's expensive to live alone on an island where no one will visit you out of shame.
http://theunsoberlife.com
3. whistle - January 10, 2008 5:11 PM
Does the one in the glasses have her knickers pulled down? Hawt.
4. The Mowt - January 10, 2008 5:34 PM
@2 Jason, buddy. C'mon. Don't lie. We know it's you. Look, there's no need to get defensive or make a big deal out of it. Simply apologize, and we can put this whole nasty "bastardizing 80's cartoons for a quick buck" episode behind us and go back to being friends.
Remember those movies you used to make that we liked? Ah... good times. Good times.
5. Dormin - January 10, 2008 5:36 PM
Gotta say, saw it with my GF who has a 6 year old girl, and that little girl laughed through the entire thing... loved it. It was a little painful to watch for me as an animator, but as someone who grew up on the Chipmunks toon and movie, I can't say it was really THAT out of vibe. I see why it's at 200... Kids love it.
Jason Lee was bad though... wow. When you can't sell the yelling of "ALVIN", something is wrong with you.
6. The Moat - January 10, 2008 5:43 PM
"...that little girl laughed through the entire thing..."
Yeah, but let's be honest... she probably would have had the same reaction to 80 minutes of America's Funniest Home Videos.
As for yelling "ALVIN," I will admit that's a hard one to pull off... how do you put the proper enthusiasm/anger/frustration into it while still remaining a lovable character.
Sure, Walter Mathau nailed Mr. Wilson's yelling, but Mr. Wilson was also a dick.
7. mgroves - January 10, 2008 9:23 PM
I think Judge Reinhold would make a better Dave. But I also think this film would be better enjoyed as Helen Keller.
8. astrogirl - January 11, 2008 3:56 AM
I did spend money on it and my first question was most definately not "where are the little girls?" It was more like "why did I spend money on this?" Even my 10 year old turned to me at one point of the movie and said "this is boring."
9. Crackbookpro - January 11, 2008 6:45 AM
God dammit. *sigh* *puts fork on table* *slams head onto fork*
ahhhhh sweet sweet death.
10. Jim - January 11, 2008 1:31 PM
Nick Nolte should have played Dave.
11. groonk - January 12, 2008 2:33 AM
that Chipette in the glasses there. she got a Hot Librarian thing going on.
wait. what am i saying! someone kick me in the head. quick!
12. pinkdate - January 13, 2008 7:41 AM
Great night club is our favorite, but travel partner is more important, you may need to check Pinkmigle.com out there, it's a cool place to meet some lesbian friends...
13. Marnie - January 13, 2008 10:42 AM
No one had to digitally erase Jason Lee's soul. Scientology already did that.
14. murdock - February 29, 2008 12:40 AM
Hey! Lay off the chipmunks!!!! If it was such a bad movie, then there wouldn't be a lot of people who took the time to see it. Yet look at it now, it is a success. Maybe you are just jealous of its success to say such a lot of shit regarding it. And by the way, try watching the movie first in its entirety before making such foolish remarks instead of watching a portion of it and then start making uncredible comments.
15. MAARIA - June 13, 2008 8:29 PM
V