Dec 13 2007KITT is Officially a Mustang, God-Like
I really didn't think there was any way to make the new Knight Rider any less appealing. A talking, crime-fighting car television show based on a prior talking, crime-fighting car television show that starred David Hasselhoff couldn't sound much worse, let alone when you add the original creator's description of "The Lone Ranger, with a car."
Yet miraculously, though the image of an ugly car and an out-of-touch press release, they may have set an entirely new benchmark for just how far television standards can be pushed in the direction of idiot.
As the original story resumes, the new KITT (Knight Industries Three Thousand) is absolutely the coolest car ever created: its supercomputer capable of hacking almost any system; its weapons systems efficient; and its body -- thanks to its creator's work and nanotechnology -- is capable of actually shifting shape and color. Plus, its artificial intelligence makes it the ideal crime-fighting partner: logical, precise and possessing infinite knowledge.
To summarize, these are the traits to look for when deciding if a car is the absolutely coolest car ever created:
- Powerful, yet flawed, hacking ability. I mean a super-intelligent car is believable, but no car can hack every system.
- Efficient weapons. Wasting bullets is so un-green, man.
- Elements of psychedelia (e.g. changing shapes and color, the ability to play Jefferson Airplane albums.)
- Omniscience. (That only makes sense.)
See video of how an omniscient, absolutely coolest car behaves much like a drunk high schooler, doing donuts in an empty parking lot, right here.
KITT is a Shelby GT500KR Mustang [Jalopnik]
Reader Comments
1. Willravel - December 13, 2007 1:14 PM
"Hello Michael. I've already caught the bad guys. Just go take more prozac. You too, America. I've got everything under control. Just sit on your couch and don't you dare get involved in the world or even be aware of it. Just enjoy my shiny black paint. Do you like Mustangs? Of course you do. Especially one that changes shapes. See how I'm Britney Spears now? That's right. Look at me. Don't worry about the failing Iraqi war. Don't worry about your house being taken away because you got an adjustable loan. Don't worry about the CIA drugs in your children's schools. Don't worry about Hubbart's Peak. Oh, did you see that? I just did a big jump. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain..."
It's Cheney. I just know it!
2. Casey Serin - December 13, 2007 10:58 PM
If it ain't a Toyota that turns into a robot, I don't fucking care about it.
3. azotyp - December 14, 2007 12:00 PM
what a junk
4. Patrick - December 14, 2007 1:26 PM
Does that car have two fucking spoilers?!? Oh dear Jebus it does! Great, as if a half rust , half primer, 91' Honda Civic with spinning rims, and a muffler that actually makes the car louder (worth twice as much as the shit mobile its attached to), wasn't bad enough. Now every car on the west side of Chicago is going to want two spoilers.
5. Real Chad - December 20, 2007 1:22 PM
I agree with you patrick...99.9% of the time double spoilers are the mark of a piece of shit or some guy with a small dick...or both. The exception is the Countach Lamborghin (circa 1980s) that had a spoiler on the front---BAD ASS. That being said...
I love the concept, but a though keeps ringing in the back of my head as I read all of the wonderful things that the car can do: ITS A FORD!
6. Real Chad - December 20, 2007 1:33 PM
Opppss...Countach Lamborghini.
All you kids out there that don't know what that is can Google it or look it up in Wikipedia.
Cheers!