Dec 4 2007Five Unappetizing Minutes of 'The Golden Compass'!
Yahoo's preview of the first five minutes of The Golden Compass comes off like an appetizer sampler at Applebee's, a sad, unfulfilling attempt at whetting my appetite with blandness and some fancy garnish that somehow manages to be both not enough and too much, all at once.
Am I meant to be most impressed that it takes half the time to explain that, in this world, there's some kind of golden compass that does something very non-specific (finds hidden things?), that children speak through dull dialogue, or that dust there is very old? At least it gives a peak at the CGI animals that house the souls of the people of this world. With uncomfortably fluid movement, they still look worse than most of the dinosaurs from Jurassic Park, but remain passable enough that a new generation, unexposed to Beastmaster, will again be begging for pet ferrets.
The Golden Compass 5-Minute Preview [Yahoo!]
Reader Comments
1. The Happy Warrior - December 4, 2007 2:17 PM
Actually, I think it's Eva Green's dull monologue, and her weird accent and occasional lisp make every mention of 'dust' even weirder than it already is.
2. The Moat - December 4, 2007 2:18 PM
How to do a "First X Minutes" preview by 'The Dark Knight'
If you're making an action movie, start with a fully self-contained action sequence. Introduce some key elements to the film (like new characters). Shoot some people, blow some stuff up, and leave your audience wanting more.
How NOT to do a "First X Minutes" preview by "The Golden Compass."
I dunno... maybe have some people talking, and stuff? Put in some kids, too; those always piss people off. OH! But make sure they don't do anything significant or interesting. Pricks aren't paying for this, so we can't have them being entertained, here. Just be sure to end the thing before anything interesting happens.
3. Giggleloop - December 4, 2007 2:43 PM
Having just read this book, and loved it, I'm really hoping this movie is at least somewhat decent. But I'm not getting my hopes up. :(
4. Kimber - December 4, 2007 3:03 PM
Obviously the first however many minutes of a movie isnt going to be the greatest, your learning whats going down. In the very first minute you learn basically the whole plot of the movie, and in the last few you learn the main point, that shes a courageous strong-willed orphan. And the lisp makes her sound more like Lyra.
5. The Moat - December 4, 2007 5:12 PM
"Obviously the first however many minutes of a movie isnt going to be the greatest...."
Watch the first six minutes of The Dark Knight and tell me that again.
Granted, not all movies start out with a great opening sequence. That's fine. Sometimes you start off with boring exposition. That's fine. But then DON'T DISTRIBUTE IT AS PROMOTIONAL MATERIAL TO BUILD INTEREST!!!
6. sam - December 4, 2007 5:14 PM
Anything that gets "Christian groups" upset automatically gets an A+ from me. And to top it all off there are Christians calling for a boycott of this film.
US Conference of Catholic Bishops warned of the movie’s “anti-clerical subtext, standard genre occult elements, character born out of wedlock, a whisky-guzzling bear".
Won't someone think of the children!?!?!?
7. Eric - December 4, 2007 5:38 PM
Gosh Sam, a book series and now a movie written by an avowed atheist that was written specifically to be anti-Christian. Who'd of thunk it that the Christians might get upset about it.
http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/compass.asp
8. Kimber - December 4, 2007 8:27 PM
Moat-
they wanted to release a clip, of course they are going to release the first. whats the sense of releasing the middle, where the people who havent read the book have no idea whats going on, and theres random polar beers fighting.
9. Me - December 4, 2007 8:31 PM
Polar BEERs?
10. Ryan - December 4, 2007 9:06 PM
"Gosh Sam, a book series and now a movie written by an avowed atheist that was written specifically to be anti-Christian."
Oh jesus christ am I sick of hearing that nonsense. Poor, poor Christians - you poor underrepresented... oh wait, 80% of the United States? Most powerful religion in all the world? Members of an institution that has been oppressing minorities, squelching dissent, and spilling blood for centuries?
Boo freakin' hoo.
When did being an "avowed atheist" become a bad thing anyway? Everyone has the right to their own beliefs. It's called freedom baby, yeah. Far worse things to believe in than logic and reason (how about believing in a talking snake handing out haunted apples to people made out of dirt by a bearded white sky daddy who hates gay people...??)
And Pullman is not "anti-Christian", he is anti-THEOCRACY. His books are about the dangers of oppressive institutions. I would have a shred of respect for the Christians protesting this movie if they at least somewhat knew what the hell they were talking about. But, not surprisingly, they don't. None of them have seen it, or read any of the books, and they're all just passing around myth-laden e-mails to get each other in a frenzy. Well I guess it just ain't religion unless you got someone or something to hate on.
Also FYI, many prominent Christians fully support Pullman and his book series, including the Archbishop of Canterbury. As always, it's basically just a couple hundred idiots and the Catholic League pretending like they speak for God and all Christiandom.
-R
11. Eddy - December 4, 2007 9:32 PM
RE: Moat
Um, I'm not sure what book you think is being made into a movie... but this isn't exactly an "action movie". This is a very subtle, difficult text, that happens to have a couple of giant bears duking it out for the awesome.
I'm a little sad they felt the need to actually explain that much about the world beforehand, but I guess I don't mind it that much.
12. The Moat - December 5, 2007 9:30 AM
@8 -- There's no rule that says any released clips have to be from the beginning of the film. Plenty of films have released segments that WEREN'T from the beginning. Furthermore, there's no rule that says you have to release full clips at all. Most fims, in fact, get by with just montage-style clips. There are also other options such as the "making of featurette." The fact of the matter is that given the this particular film is not conducive to the the "first five minutes" marketing method.
@11 -- I totally understand and sympathize. The answer, however, is that this is not a movie where you can get a good sense of the film in the first five minutes. If it's such a subtle, difficult text, answer the following:
A) Why the marketing crew thought they could give you a good sense of the film in ANY given five minutes?
B) Why are all the ads just a bunch of fighting polar bears?
To summarize; I'm not saying anything bad about the film. My only point is that this "first five minutes" clip thing is a miserable way to market this particular film.
13. Eddy - December 5, 2007 1:23 PM
Okay, I'll go with you on that. The first five minutes really weren't the best part of the film.
But that site has a ton of clips that are freakishly awesome, including the bears kicking each other's asses, as well as a lot more subtle. I'm particularly fond of the interviews with the actors about Dakota, who looks pretty perfect.
It sort of looks like they were like, let's give Yahoo the first five minutes of every movie ever made and see what they do?
14. Eric - December 5, 2007 7:55 PM
"Oh jesus christ am I sick of hearing that nonsense."
"And Pullman is not "anti-Christian", he is anti-THEOCRACY. His books are about the dangers of oppressive institutions."
I love the contradiction of you invoking jesus christ in your tirade against Christianity. Hey Ryan read your own words. It's nonsense, and yet you go on to admit that his writing is anti-theocracy.
But Christians aren't allowed to be offended. Doesn't the Catholic League also have the right to express it's opinion? Or do you think they should just shut up?
I'm curious to what would your reaction be to a mainstream big budget movie that was about promoting an anti-gay theme instead of anti-theocracy theme?
"I would have a shred of respect for the Christians protesting this movie if they at least somewhat knew what the hell they were talking about. But, not surprisingly, they don't. None of them have seen it, or read any of the books, and they're all just passing around myth-laden e-mails to get each other in a frenzy. "
You also seem to have some strong opinions about Christians. Have you ever read the Bible or been to Church, or do you even know any Christians? How much do you know about what you are talking about?
By the way, I'm not a Christian I'm an agnostic. So I don't have a dog in the fight. But I always think it is amusing to see the anti-Christians behave as narrowmindedly and dogmatically as the Christians when the subject comes up.
15. Kimber - December 6, 2007 11:36 PM
moat, the main point your getting at is horrible. just because the 5 minutes wasnt "thrilling and action packed" the true lovers of the book are just happy to see a bit of it before it fully comes out. There is already a market out there, same as with the dark knight, batman lovers want to watch it prob more than the average person, 5 minute clip or not. im not comparing the two, because of course the dark knight one is more thrilling im sure (i havent watched it) but for true fans of the golden compass, it was great to get a taste of how they are gonna lay it out. just because YOU didnt like it, doesnt mean others wont. im not saying its not dry, but the book isnt action packed at every turn, so why should the movie be? Readers know what they are getting into.