Dec 14 2007Let 'Leatherheads' Trailer Take You to Platonic Male Crush Heaven
You think George Clooney's taking any cues from his work with the Coens? The goofy hairstyles, the period setting, the fisticuffs fighting stance and subsequent cross-eyed reaction all seem familiar. Considering the uproarious love triangle story line, Clooney probably just saw Sabrina and thought it would be better with the sensibilities of O Brother, Where Art Thou? And football. Added props for having his gentlemanly referee replicate Stephen Tobolowky's punch reaction from Groundhog Day flawlessly.
I'd say he robbed the fast-talking female reporter character from Hudsucker Proxy, but I doubt Georgie would even bother to watch the Coen movies he doesn't appear in. Besides, we all know that role for Renee Zellweger and the entire movie itself were conceived merely so Clooney here could get himself some steady ex-sex. He's probably immune to that post-coital shame, too. He IS George motherf***ing Clooney, after all.
Leatherheads Trailer [Yahoo!]
Dec 14 2007More 'Dark Knight' Posters, Trailer Update
Say what you will about the crime in Gotham City, it's still the only fictional metropolis with a 15-lane-wide stretch of downtown street--a perfect locale for flamboyant brooding.
And: there's another poster under the cut. Thanks to Wendy for pointing it out.
Plus: The Dark Knight trailer looks like it will debut online Sunday, here.
Continue Reading "More 'Dark Knight' Posters, Trailer Update"
Dec 14 2007First Three Minutes of 'Cloverfield'
With non-stop monster destruction, huge explosions, and shaky handheld camera, Cloverfield looks to be the #1 movie of next year that your mom would hate. For me, it would be something like this:
"What is this, a rich party? I thought this was monsters."
"Mom, shhh."
"Is his a home movie? I didn't pay to see a camcorder show. Wait... did you make this? Is this one of your movies?"
"No, Mom. Please, be quiet."
"What is all this terrible noise? All this shaking camera is making me sick. I'm going to wait in the car. You have fun with your Draculas movie."
So, I guess my point is to watch this preview, but don't take your mom. Just have her drop you off and pick you up, like usual. Thanks for the tip, Dave.
Dec 14 2007'My Name is Bruce' Trailer Refers to Campbell, Not Vilanch
After rising to popularity among the unpopular with his lead role in the Evil Dead series, episodes of Xena, and some of the more enjoyable parts of Spider-man, Bruce Campbell has earned himself somewhat of a cult following among the sad and convention-going. So, obviously, why not exploit that?
And thus they have, creating a pandering horror-comedy that relies entirely on the premise that it would be pretty cool if Bruce Campbell actually fought evil like in his movies, and if he were sort of a racist buffoon.
I'm all for a Galaxy Quest-style take on the life of Bruce Campbell, but does it have to be so stupid? Seeing that he washed his hair with drain cleaner after mistaking it for a bottle of Evil Dead-themed shampoo does not make me laugh; it makes me question why Bruce Campbell is illiterate and has an invisible scalp. Is that the point?
Continue Reading "'My Name is Bruce' Trailer Refers to Campbell, Not Vilanch"
Dec 14 2007'Horton Hears a Who' Trailer is Surprisingly Watchable
After Jim Carrey turned Dr. Seuss's The Grinch into a pointless, disturbing horror show, I was a little upset to learn he was teaming up with the makers of Ice Age to try it with Horton Hears a Who. Yet, somehow--probably through the voice-over of Steve Carell and the co-opted Beetlejuice music--this seem like it could be a reasonable adaptation of the original work.
Nice try, Carrey, but you're going to have to get up pretty early in the morning (for extensive makeup work and the attachment of fur prosthetics) if you want to horribly misinterpret another Dr. Seuss book.
Horton Hears a Who Trailer [Apple]
Dec 14 2007First Look at 'Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince'
Those folks down at the Harry Potter Movie Making Factory know exactly how to get me juiced up about the new one: with a slightly different hairstyle, ringer tee, unadorned jacket, a couple books, and teenage angst, all on a wax figure of K.D. Lang.
First Pic From Harry Potter 6 [Empire]
Dec 14 2007'The Dark Knight' Trailer, Only Shaky and Poor Quality
A dark, blurry Batman trailer is still a Batman trailer. Just an unfulfilling one, where you can barely tell what's going on. Special shout outs to bootleggers and camera phones for this one.
UPDATE: It's gone already. But if you poke around you can probably find it.
UPDATE 2: It's back for now.
Continue Reading "'The Dark Knight' Trailer, Only Shaky and Poor Quality"
Dec 14 2007AM Poster Post: 'The Dark Knight' International Poster
Sometimes, when he gets too caught up with crime-fighting, Batman forgets that in addition to being Gotham's premiere superhero, he's also really f***ing rich. That's when he takes a deep breath, climbs to the top of the 200-story building he owns, and looks down at all the assholes who can't afford bulletproof Batman suits.
Thanks for the tip, Andy.
The Dark Knight Poster [Omelete]
Dec 13 200710,000 B.C. (or so) Trailer
It takes a special kind of talent to combine massive, over-the-top action scenes with historical accuracy of The Flintstones. Unsurprisingly, it's the same kind of talent that combined Ancient Egypt with portals and lasers, unpatriotic aliens with computer viruses, and giant lizards with stupidity.
That's right, Roland Emmerich, director of Stargate, Independence Day, and Godzilla, has a new one on the horizon, and it looks right up there with all his best. Called 10,000 B.C., it could have more accurately been named Anything That Seemed Sort of Cool in a Fairly Large Window of the Past, Across an Impossibly Diverse Geography. Riding wooly mammoths in an empire at-par with the Aztecs? Yeah, I think I remember that segment in VH1's I Love the 10,000 B.C.s. Classic scene of the time.
Dec 13 2007Ten-Minutes of 'Extras' Series Finale Online
The second season of Extras had its issues, but it was still better than most comedies on TV. And from the looks of the first ten minutes of the Christmas Special finale, it seems like the series will thankfully end on a high note. I'm absurdly excited. If you have HBO, totally watch it this Sunday at 9.
With this and The Office Christmas Special, you now have almost three full hours of Gervais-filled, choir/Rockette-free Christmas joy to bask in before you fall into a lonely, drunken stupor. Merry Christmas!
'Extras' Series Finale Sneak Peek [Yahoo!]
Dec 13 2007'You Don't Mess With the Zohan', Especially if This Trailer is the Result
This trailer to You Don't Mess With the Zohan is everything you'd hope for from an Adam Sandler movie-meets-Borat-meets-hairstyling. Hilarious, mildly offensive accents galore, increasingly ludicrous antics, the requisite mildly-retarded Rob Schneider character--it's got everything you hated from Waterboy and more! It's also probably what a Bollywood adaption of Shampoo would resemble, only with more random dance numbers.
Apparently, the largest consequence of messing with the Zohan is another terrible, sentence-titled comedy from the director of I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry.
Dec 13 2007Technology Retroactively Ruins 'Lost in Translation'
Want to ruin one of the most beautiful and poignant moments in recent cinematic history? I guess this is relatively old, but I've just been made aware that someone has used digital stuff to make the whispered final moment of Lost in Translation somewhat decipherable. It's under the cut, for those who want questionable closure.
I'm a bit dubious if this is really what he's saying; it seems kind of suspect that his final line is, "Don't forget to see The Dark Knight, in theaters July 18th."
Continue Reading "Technology Retroactively Ruins 'Lost in Translation'"
Dec 13 2007Golden Globe Nominations Released!
Nothing but the holiday visit to Grandma's can bring out the same mix of apathy and disappointment that comes from the annual Golden Globe Nominations. Once again, this year is the usual smattering of things you knew would be nominated, things that shouldn't be nominated, and the absence of things that you wish were. Treat yourself to the glittering, spherical ennui, under the cut.
Dec 13 2007KITT is Officially a Mustang, God-Like
I really didn't think there was any way to make the new Knight Rider any less appealing. A talking, crime-fighting car television show based on a prior talking, crime-fighting car television show that starred David Hasselhoff couldn't sound much worse, let alone when you add the original creator's description of "The Lone Ranger, with a car."
Yet miraculously, though the image of an ugly car and an out-of-touch press release, they may have set an entirely new benchmark for just how far television standards can be pushed in the direction of idiot.
As the original story resumes, the new KITT (Knight Industries Three Thousand) is absolutely the coolest car ever created: its supercomputer capable of hacking almost any system; its weapons systems efficient; and its body -- thanks to its creator's work and nanotechnology -- is capable of actually shifting shape and color. Plus, its artificial intelligence makes it the ideal crime-fighting partner: logical, precise and possessing infinite knowledge.
To summarize, these are the traits to look for when deciding if a car is the absolutely coolest car ever created:
- Powerful, yet flawed, hacking ability. I mean a super-intelligent car is believable, but no car can hack every system.
- Efficient weapons. Wasting bullets is so un-green, man.
- Elements of psychedelia (e.g. changing shapes and color, the ability to play Jefferson Airplane albums.)
- Omniscience. (That only makes sense.)
See video of how an omniscient, absolutely coolest car behaves much like a drunk high schooler, doing donuts in an empty parking lot, right here.
KITT is a Shelby GT500KR Mustang [Jalopnik]
Dec 13 2007AM Poster Post: 'Harold and Kumar 2' Understands Homonyms
See, in the first one, they were smoking joints. When it say they're running from the "joint", this time it's referring to prison, slangily referred to as "the joint" in some cultures. I knew there was inherent comedy lying within homonyms, but it took the Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay poster to prove it.
But I have to wonder, why not a shot of them in the airplane scene, with the tagline, "They've never been higher"? Or maybe "After torture, it's time to turn over a new leaf"? Is a word balloon saying "Weed rather not be waterboarded" too much?
Harold and Kumar 2 Poster [Worst Previews]
Dec 12 2007Hellboy Has a Really Huge Gun
For Hellboy II: The Golden Army, it looks like our hero is stepping up his arsenal. Namely, with what appears to be a Nerf Ballzooka. Let's just hope the forces of evil don't have any of those foam arrows that whistle when you shoot them.
That's a Helluva Big Gun! [Shock Till You Drop]
Dec 12 2007See The Beatles in 'Walk Hard'
Regardless of how funny Walk Hard ends up being, this scene with The Beatles, as played by Jack Black, Jason Schwartzman, Justin Long, and Paul Rudd, should go down with I'm Not There as one of worst yet funniest group impressions in history.
Dec 12 2007From the Set of 'X-Files 2': The Truth!
To the untrained eye, the following spy shots from the set of X-Files 2: Get Them Aliens are just a series of boring shots from the backlot of some studio. Nothing but a fashion show to see how David Duchovny and Amanda Peet look in trenchcoats. But to the skilled eye (mine), the details of the scene emerge like a government plot involving bees.
More images, along with absolutely accurate scene dialogue, under the cut.
Dec 12 2007New 'Where the Wild Things Are' Image (Note: Wild Things are in Weezer Video)
Even though it looks like Spike Jonze may have just added giant monsters to his "Island in the Sun" music video, this still from Where the Wild Things Are is blowing my mind. Look at those things! And Dave Eggers wrote it! This is either going to be really great or really obnoxiously pretentious. I'm desperately hoping for the prior.
First Where the Wild Things Are Images [CinemaBlend]
Dec 12 2007'Sweeney Todd' Bloody Opening Sequence
Wondering what Tim Burton has in store to top his logo-tracing opening to Batman and town model-examining Beatlejuice introduction? Now you can, by watching the opening sequence to Sweeney Todd here.
Warning: not for those uncomfortable with blood behaving like a T-1000 Terminator.
Thanks to Tracy for the tip.
Opening Credits of Burton's Sweeney Todd [Broadway World]
Dec 12 2007Maxwell Smart Still Communicating Via Shoe
As Cinemablend has astutely noted, anyone even vaguely familiar with the Get Smart series remembers Maxwell Smart's iconic shoe phone. In a time prior to cellular technology, long before Verizon contemplated the idea of mass stalking as a phone-hocking gimmick, a shoe phone was the perfect blend of James Bond gadgetry meets absurdity. Aside from the door-opening intro credits, it's practically all I remember from the show.
There was a time when Nick at Nite was offering a real version of the shoe phone for use in homes, and though I wasn't sure if it was a joke or not (I'm still not sure), I begged for my parents to buy me it. Surely, a replica plot from a 30-year-old television series was the one element missing from my attempts at adolescent popularity. (I would later learn lack of athleticism and infrequent showering was also hurting my chances.) I still hold some resentment about the whole thing.
So it's nice to see that, despite advances in communications, the new Steve Carell/Anne Hathaway Get Smart is still willing to trade-in technological accuracy for nostalgic laughs by including the infamous device. We can only hope that, in spite of the invention of whispering, the Cone of Silence will make an appearance too.
Steve Carell Makes A Call On His Shoe [Cinemablend]
Dec 12 2007Pee-Wee Returning to Playhouse for More Play
When an actor manages to score early fame through an iconic role, it can be a huge boost to their career. But with that jump in notoriety comes the risk of being forever associated with that first breakthrough part, causing some actors to go through great lengths to distance themselves from it.
Take Daniel Radcliffe, for instance. Fearful of bearing the tormenting shouts of "Hey, Harry Potter!" his whole life, he took drastic measures. Next thing you know, he's on stage, naked, with a horse, and I'm left unsure of what would be more degrading to shout if I see him on the street.
Remember when Lindsey Lohan was playing cute twin girls trapping their parents, or a girl switching places with a hermaphrodite mom? Now she's playing kidnapped strippers, she's in rehab, and never seems to wear pants. Try to label her, society!
And don't tell me you wouldn't still be calling Christopher Reeve "Superman" if he hadn't made himself--well, let's just say it--the exact opposite of a Superman.
Thus, it came as no surprise when Paul Reubens, doomed to be remembered for connecting dots and living amongst anthropomorphic furniture, retired the Pee-Wee character, publicly masturbated, and played a coke dealer. You got to do something, right? But what is surprising is the recent announcement he made to MTV, saying that he's planning on reviving the character that made him famous, and has two scripts in the works, the first due for a 2009 release. Said Pee-Wee:
I feel like the time is really ripe right now. A lot of the kids who grew up with the show are young adults. The college kids are middle-aged adults. I feel like I have enough of a built-in audience to make back an investment.
It just goes to show you, a bird can fly as far as it wants from the nest, but it always ends up returning for its giant ball of aluminum foil. Or something like that.
Reuben to Return as Pee-Wee Herman [Contact]
Dec 12 2007'Spiderwick Chronicles' Poster, by a Drunk Tim Burton
Unless this is actually Bridge to Terabithia 2 I'm a little let down by this poster. It just doesn't say "this will scare the shit out of children" like the trailer did. Why not make the trees literally say that? "Beware: This will scare the shit out of your children, but they probably deserve it."
Dec 11 2007'Possession' Trailer Pop Quiz!
Question: How do you remake You, Me and Dupree as an even more idiotic psychological thriller?
Hint 1: Try making the Matt Dillon-character and Owen Wilson-character get in a car accident.
Hint 2: Try making the brain of the now-comatose Matt Dillon-character somehow possess the body of Dupree.
Hint 3: Add Sarah Michelle Gellar.
Answer: Under the cut.
Dec 11 2007First Look at Adult Leo in 'Body of Lies'
I have high hopes for Ridley Scott's newest, Body of Lies. Based on David Ignatius's novel, and scripted by The Departed writer William Monahan, the film stars Leonardo DiCaprio as Roger Ferris, a former Iraq War journalist employed by the CIA to hunt down an Al Qaeda leader. In this first image, we're given the assurance that Leo has definitely thrown away the boyish image of his past. If The Departed was his Bar Mitzvah, this is whatever Jewish thing would come after that.
How can you tell?
Disconnected facial hair - Leo not only has a moderately pronounced beard, but a beard that is completely removed from the headhair, utterly devoid of sideburn. It is a newborn child composed of wiry hair, too powerful to continue living off the cheek's umbilical cord to the brain. This beard has its own thoughts and dreams. It would clearly never grow on a baby face.
Slicked-back hair - Nothing says "like Shia LaBeouf, or Dracula, I am now a full-fledged adult" like a thick wave of slicked-back hair. Bangs are for pussies.
A suit - Come on, would you dress a boy in a full suit? Only at his own funeral.
Furrowed brow - With age comes the weight of the world, and you can see it in Leo's forehead. "If only I could laugh again," says the brow, "but there's no way, with all this paperwork and background Americana."
Welcome to manhood, Leo!
Dec 11 2007'Whiteout' Stills Not as Impressive as White-Out Art on Your Social Studies Binder
These Whiteout stills don't show much of the film--aside from Kate Beckinsale pointlessly using a flashlight--but I hadn't seen anything from this one since the ComicCon poster, so at least it's something.
One more under the cut.
Dec 11 2007'Machine Girl' Trailer is Really Awesome
It's not often that a trailer makes me audibly shriek. Yet, somehow, Machine Girl elicited, not one, but several giddy screams and shouted expletives. This thing is like if an early-'90s Peter Jackson made Kill Bill, but with the borderline retarded sensibility of the Japanese. Plus, it's got a girl with a machine gun arm! And that's not even the coolest part! (The coolest part might be the drill bra.)
Dec 11 2007AM Poster Post: 'Jumper' Poster is Shiny, Leather
Jumper: It's like The Matrix, only the jackets are covered in Carmen Sandiego clues.
New Jumper Poster [JoBlo]
Dec 10 2007Watch First 10 Minutes of 'Walk Hard', or Don't
Unsure if Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story will be a hilarious laugh-em-up or just an obnoxious string of penis-euphemism-as-a-name jokes? Then either enjoy or despise this ten-minute preview, depending on how it pans out for you.
Personally, I'm going to avoid viewing the beginning until the theater. Sure, watching could give you a peek at things to come, and let you know if you really want to commit to two-hours of the same, but there's something not right about it. Like accidentally choosing a disgusting beer at the bar, or stupidly admitting you were available the day an acquaintance had to move, I feel starting to watch a bad movie is a mistake that should still be seen to its completion, however painful.
But do as you please, philistine.
First Ten Minutes of 'Walk Hard' [Rock Like Cox]
Dec 10 2007'Over Her Dead Body' Trailer Gives Ghost Desperate Housewives Bad Rap
OK, I get that Eva Longoria is the vengeful ghost of an ex-fiance, desperately trying to stop psychic Lake Bell from getting with Paul Rudd. And I get that Ghost meets slapstick romantic-comedy might have been, in theory, a moderately entertaining concept. And I've learned that the only way a woman can be the protagonist in a romantic-comedy is if she shows a complete lack of motor skills, thereby making her charmingly clumsy. But none of this answers why are all of the gags are seemingly pulled from Wile E. Coyote cartoons.
Between Jason Biggs catching his arm on fire and dipping it in boiling water, Eva Longoria falling out of a window, and Lake Bell getting scorched by an enormous fireball, leaving only a comedic black soot on her face, (did the budget not allow for her becoming a pair of blinking eyeballs on a pile of charred ashes?) it's a wonder there aren't any anvils or sticks of dynamite.
At least it's nice to see Paul Rudd in a leading role, however inane it may be.
Continue Reading "'Over Her Dead Body' Trailer Gives Ghost Desperate Housewives Bad Rap"
Dec 10 2007'Semi-Pro' Trailer Shows There is No Sport Will Ferrell Won't Have Funny Hair For
Yes, it's another goofy sports movie with Will Ferrell. I'm not sure if they throw a dart at a board of sporting events or just let him loose in an MC Sporting Goods until someone laughs, but this time they've gone with basketball. However, realizing that's not inherently wacky enough, it's semi-pro basketball in the '70s, and they somehow worked in wrestling a bear.
Like ex-sex, this looks to be enjoyable only in that it's safe and familiar, but will ultimately leave you sad that you fell for it yet again.
Continue Reading "'Semi-Pro' Trailer Shows There is No Sport Will Ferrell Won't Have Funny Hair For"
Dec 10 2007Weekend Box Office: 'Golden Compass' Wins, Still Does Horribly
1. The Golden Compass - A disappointing $26.1 million weekend proves it takes more than Nicole Kidman, epic battles, and armored CGI polar bear fights to bring in audiences. It also takes a giant robot polar bear that totally eats the shit out of every other polar bear.
2. Enchanted - I can't figure out why America paid $10.7 million to see a fairy tale princess in the real world when we've already had one. Rest in peace, Diana!
3. This Christmas - Why talk about the $5 million weekend gross when Chris Brown could sing about it?
4. Fred Claus - $4.7 million worth of recommendations to not see Fred Claus.
5. Beowulf - After taking in another $4.4 million, what's next for Beowulf? Answer: NEOwulf!
Honorable Mention: Juno only made $420,000, but it only played on seven screens, so that's nutso.
Weekend Box Office Results [Box Office Mojo]
Dec 10 2007'Jumper' Trailer Fails to Employ Kris Kross, House of Pain Tracks
As far as movies about Hayden Christensen teleporting to famous landmarks then standing around looking arrogant go, this actually looks pretty decent. Maybe part of my optimism stems from the assurance it provides that, if a teleporting Hayden Christensen were to even spawn, I now know there would be a Samuel L. Jackson/Evil Uncle Ben character to foil his his smug spacial manipulation.
Does anyone else think the Irish/Scottish guy is definitely going to have a heroic death?
Thanks for the tip, Joe.
Continue Reading "'Jumper' Trailer Fails to Employ Kris Kross, House of Pain Tracks"
Dec 10 2007AM Poster Post: 'Indiana Jones and the Skull Thing' Poster
Like the Star Wars prequel posters before it, the new poster for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull brings us back to the glory of the first trilogy with this evocative painted image. Nice of them to remind us of those classics before we start saying how much worse this will be.
I can't decide if I would like it more or less if Shia was poking his head out of an eye socket, giving a thumbs up or something.
New 'Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull' Poster [Cinematical]
