'Alvin and the Chipmunks' Full Trailer!
As awful as I realized Alvin and the Chipmunks would be from its Jamie Kennedy-esque attempt at hip-hop parody, vague allusions to HBO programming, and literal shit eating, this new trailer for the film updates me as to many other terrible things it will include. Such as:
- David Cross. Normally, the inclusion of the hilarious David Cross would be a positive, but seeing him in this crap-cake is equivalent to watching your favorite band play at a Taco Bell. Nice to see them, but why there, among the rodents? This is below you, no matter what the compensation.
- The chipmunk voices have gone up about five octaves, now reaching the point of completely unbearable.
- Besides the aforementioned shit-eating joke, there are also fart-in-the-face jokes.
- According to descriptions of each chipmunk I'm given in the trailer, Alvin is a flamboyantly seductive hula hooper, Simon has a servant fetish, and Theodore is a nocturnal frotteur.
- The chipmunks are almost always naked. Which wouldn't be that weird for animals, except they're constantly being portrayed as bizarrely sexual.
Basically, unless you want your kids to become feces-obsessed perverts, I wouldn't recommend taking them to Alvin and the Chipmunks. Thanks for the tip, Kyle.
Alvin and the Chipmunks Trailer [Yahoo!]