Nov 15 2007John C. Reilly Will Drink Your Blood
With all the hoopla surrounding films like Harry Potter, Chronicles of Narnia, and Bridge to Terabithia--putting kids in fantastic, off-the-wall situations--it's about time someone made a smaller, more down-to-earth story, something any child could relate too. Like visiting an illegal freak show, meeting a vampire and a giant spider, and being forced into vampire servitude. You know, like when you were a kid.
Thankfully, About a Boy's Paul Weitz is making just such a thing, adapting Darren Shan's Cirque du Freak book series, and has cast John C. Reilly as the vampire. Why has it taken us this long to think of a curly-haired, kind of chubby vampire? I don't know. But at least we got there.
PS: I'm going on a short vacation, so there will be no new posts tomorrow. I'll be back Monday, refreshed and with a renewed enthusiasm in romantic-comedy trailers and Rambo posters.
Reilly gets his 'Freak' on with Uni [Hollywood Reporter]
Nov 15 2007Yet Another 'Rambo' Poster
It's been 25 years since we first saw Stallone grunt and stab his way through First Blood, and, you know, all things considered, the Rambo we see today doesn't look too bad. Same hair, same bandanna, same aptitude with outdated weaponry.
In fact, had his dead fingernails not given him away, I'd probably never have guessed this was a re-animated corpse.
Rambo Poster [IMPA]
Nov 15 2007'The Air I Breathe' Trailer Breathes Itself Online
What would you get if you took the intertwining melodrama of Crash, keeping Brendan Fraser for some reason, replaced all the racial issues with the supernatural ability to tell the immediate future, and added monotone narration? The Air I Breathe, of course, or at least it would seem from the trailer.
I've heard this is actually pretty good. Is that possible? Can anyone confirm this? While I give them credit for not using song "The Air That I Breathe," the only part that got me excited was seeing George of the Jungle's face beaten in. But if there's more of that, I could see how it might be pretty enjoyable.
Trailer under the cut.
Continue Reading "'The Air I Breathe' Trailer Breathes Itself Online"
Nov 15 2007'Persepolis' Trailer Shows Iran Might Not Be As Awesome As Thought
As much as I love seeing three-dimensional, anthropomorphic insects, rodents, and vehicles, it's a welcome surprise to see something more deeply personal, traditionally animated, and without a six-month marketing assault by Jerry Seinfeld. Persepolis looks to be just such a reprieve, faithfully adapting Marjane Satrapi's graphic novels of her childhood in Iran and the following years.
Though people are saying this should win the Best Animated Feature Oscar, it's already drawn fierce criticism from Iranian officials for its portrayal of their government. I hope that doesn't mean it somehow shows policies of absolute intolerance and repression in a negative light. But how could it?
I'm only confused as to why God is portrayed as an elderly Boy Scout. It must be a cultural thing.
Persepolis Trailer [Yahoo!]
Nov 15 2007AM Poster Post: 'Get Smart' Has Carell Hair-Lipped
Hey, if I were Steve Carell, I wouldn't mind Anne Hathaway's photoshopped hair in my face, either! Pubic hair, that is! Booyah! Particularly if, like in this poster, it's only the head of Anne Hathaway pasted on an unreasonably smaller body.
'Get Smart' Poster Premiere [Cinematical]
Nov 14 2007Max Headroom Joins 'Watchmen' Cast
It's a shame that, at any given point, there are a fairly limited number of strong roles for bald, kind of annoying guys who are growing gaunter and harder to stare at with each passing moment. Because as much as I like to see Max Headroom himself, Matt Frewer, on screen, I never seem to find him outside of voice work and an occasional guest spot (and, of course, in my daily viewings of Honey, I Shrunk the Kids).
Thankfully, Zack Snyder has recognized a way to use Frewer's unique, dying look in a high-profile film: as the cancer-stricken, demonic-looking villain Moloch in Watchmen. I can't wait to see this boney head on screen. Seriously.
Nov 14 2007'Mummy 3' Cursing Us With More Images
Filmz.ru has a bunch of new shots from The Mummy 3: The Tomb of the Dragon Emperor for the fans of embalmed corpses/Brendan Fraser/Jet Li/masochism. As a warning, those who said a film couldn't be made using old costume pieces from Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes and Tyra Banks's hair extensions are in for a sad shock.
Mummy 3 Stills [Filmz.ru]
Nov 14 2007'Made of Honor' Poster is So McDreamy
To fully grasp the complexity of the poster for Made of Honor, there are a few things you're going to have to understand.
First, the plot: Are you familiar with the constant, one-sided longing for marriage that exists in all mixed-gender best friendships, and only materializes itself when one of the friends is getting married? Or have you seen My Best Friend's Wedding? Well, it's happened again! Dempsey's got to stop his best friend Michelle Monaghan from marrying someone less McDreamy. But in an exceptionally progressive move, Dempsey also must handle maid of honor duties, and smug grinning duties.
Nov 14 2007Chatwin, Marsters Join 'Dragonball'
I still don't fully understand why they've decided to film the long, confusing amalgam of giant, angular hair, motion lines, and, more importantly, the constant screaming that is what I've seen of the Dragonball anime. But they are. And since they are, I have to say, they're doing a pretty decent job casting it.
For Goku, the lead protagonist, they've decided to go with Justin Chatwin, the annoying kid from War of the Worlds and The Invisible. From what I remember of Goku, he was either a man with a boyish face or a boy with a man-like body. Either way, it was easy to understand why the other characters were constantly trying to punch this man-child. It's impressive they were able to find that same quality in a real actor.
To play the villain Piccolo, director James Wong has chosen Buffy star James Marsters, an actor whose face naturally carries the necessary evil angularity. It will be interesting to see if they keep the character's signature white turban or if they decide to just sculpt Marsters bleached gel-chunks into something passable.
As I've said before, if they can make this into anything I can even loosely understand, it will already be a step above the pre-pubsecent Japanese mind explosion of the cartoon.
'Dragonball' comes to bigscreen [Variety]
Nov 14 2007First Look at Pop in 'Speed Racer'
A Hungarian movie site has managed to get the first look at John Goodman as Pop in the Wachowskis' Speed Racer adaptation, seen here posing with his stunt double. But... what else could this shot be???
- Newspaper advertisement for Popov Bros. Body Shop.
- Third annual "I'm the Pringles Guy!" golf tournament, sponsored by Pringles.
- Catalog page from J. Crew's new Husky Crew collection. (page 4, The Chubby Polo, electric blue pictured.)
- Adorably matching older gay couple, Tim and Tim.
- John Goodman finally settling a bet that he's bustier than this other guy.
Műhassal és John Goodmannel [Cinematrix]
Nov 14 2007'Definitely, Maybe' Trailer Definitely Isn't Interesting
Having Ryan Reynolds regale me with tales of his sexual conquests, but toned down for an audience consisting of Abigail Breslin and romantic-comedy fanatics, has never been high on my list of experiences to have before death. But at least now I know that seeing a two-minute preview for such an experience, complete with a comedic record screech, won't change that opinion.
Incidentally, what kind of sick f*** answers his daughter's question of how he met her mom with an hour-long story about the various women he's courted, never revealing who the mother is? If she asks where babies come from, maybe he can give her several detailed stories of the lurid ways he's had sex with women, and she can guess which makes a baby.
Continue Reading "'Definitely, Maybe' Trailer Definitely Isn't Interesting"
Nov 14 2007Viggo Mortensen to be Stallone's Poe Boy?
News of who may be cast as Edgar Allen Poe in Sylvester Stallone's biopic, first meant to be written in the style of Poe, then changed to the style of something I'm more familiar with, the rhyming scheme of MTV's NeXt spoken when someone gets "nexted" and has to go back to the bus:
Stallone's looking for someone to play Poe
But for an actor, where should he go?
There were rumors he'd look to a "Hero"
and cast Ventimiglia, Milo,
but now he's looking to Viggo (Mortensen)
to quoth "nevermo'."
So it's back to the bus for J.T.; Chad's next!
(Note: the last line has nothing to do with the casting, but is necessary at the end of every NeXt poem.)
Nov 14 2007AM Poster Post: 'Kit Kittredge: An American Girl' (and Reporter)
I love these things like American Girl and Nancy Drew where the appeal is that they're pretty young girls, but also hold serious adult jobs. The only thing is, I think they're really limiting themselves with so many ten-year-old ace detectives and star reporters. Why not Kit Kittredge: Steel Worker? Kit Kittredge: Political Assassin? Kit Kittredge: World War I Doughboy? Or, if they're really trying to sell it to a young girl audience, why not just make up careers that cater to them? Kit Kittredge: Professional Pony Collector. Or Kit Kittredge: Cures Cancer with Rainbows. Any of these would be better than another reporter.
Nov 13 2007Is This The New Bond Girl, Nearly Naked?
Yes, according to a Mexican news show, actress Mayrin Villanueva will be the next nesting place for James Bond's virile loins. This is probably the tenth similar rumor I've heard of who the next Bond girl is, so take it with a grain of salt. But also take it with the image of a nearly naked woman who may or may not be pretending she is Pete Wentz imitating a burlesque cat.
Media Rumor: Bond Girl [MI6 News]
Nov 13 2007'City of Men' Trailer is Less Than Godly
As someone who is not impoverished or surrounded by constant murder, there's nothing I like more than seeing the suffering of those who are, along with the assurance that such a lifestyle is far away from me and all my cool stuff--like in Brazil. This mentality--the same one that sells copies of BumFights (videos of hobo fisticuffs)--led to my love of 2002's City of God. It also helped that it was powerful, well written and acted, and beautifully shot. However, the film's upcoming sequel, City of Men, gives me some reservations from this trailer.
First, do we need to pretend it's in English by removing all dialog and replacing it with lengthy, expository voice-over? I think City of God was popular enough you can bank on that without making it a parody of Edgar Wright's Don't trailer.
Second, saying "from the producers of" is equivalent to saying "we couldn't get any of the actual talent from the first film to make another one, and there's probably a strong reason for that."
And finally, what's up with the downgraded name? City of Men? If man is less than God, what can I expect from this sequel? You might as well call the Transformers sequel "Standard, Non-transforming Cars."
Nov 13 2007First Look at Quinto Doing Spock Impression
As apt as Zachary Quinto looks for the part of Spock, I can't help but think this is going to turn into something like the Bob Dylan picture I'm Not There, where half of the movie is spent determining who can do the best impression. Look how much he looks like Spock! Wow, he's doing that strange, droning voice of Sulu! He sounds just like a Scottish caricature!
It's also possible this is just Jason Schwartzman playing an elfin nerd.
Quinto As Young Spock! [JFX Online]
Nov 13 2007AM Poster Post: 'Strange Wilderness' is Future of Comedy Posters
For the last few years, it has been thought that the only way to effectively communicate that your movie is a comedy is with a white poster and giant, goofy red lettering (like this one). The white emptiness suggests you are in a void where anything could happen (such as hilarity) and the rules of Earth do not apply (granting the ability for one actor may play multiple parts, with fat suits). There is nothing to remind you of the woes of this world, only the comedy ahead, in the white vacuum of laughter.
That's why it's even funnier when we see the wacky red letters! Where did those come from?! That bold type and close kerning just screams comedy, nearly as much as the Comic Sans I always use in my community newsletters. If the scarlet letter from The Scarlet Letter looked anything like this, I bet adultery was hilarious.
But now a new contender is rising: subjects over a disgusting green with a diffused spotlight. First seen in Knocked Up, the solid nothingness of the background takes our mind straight to the comedy abyss, while the spotlight says, "Hey! Look here! Look at these funny faces! Ignore that this appears to be an '80s teen comedy, and has the Mac hipster everyone hates! Be blinded by the harsh light of forced humor!"
Strang Wilderness Poster [Yahoo!]
Nov 12 2007Mickey Rourke Deemed Superior 'Wrestler'
Variety has announced that Mickey Rourke will be starring in Darren Aronofsky's indie drama The Wrestler, a project previously planned for Nicolas Cage. No explanation was given for the change, but I imagine it went something like this...
Nicolas Cage has just emerged from Darren Aronofsky's bathroom wearing a professional wrestling outfit and his typical bewildered yet concerned expression.
Nicolas Cage: So how do I look?
Darren Aronofsky: You know, now that I see you, here in the light, dressed in a full leonard, I realize you look absolutely nothing like a wrestler.
Nicolas Cage: Hm. I'm not sure what you mean.
Darren Aronofsky: Well, it's just that a wrestler--and I'm just saying typically--is a large, imposing, menace of a man.
Nicolas Cage: Right... So you're worried I'm not that much like that?
Darren Aronofsky: You're nothing like that. You're just a wide-eyed balding guy who frequently looks confused.
Nicolas Cage: I see.
Darren Aronofsky: Yeah, sorry. Jeez, I don't know what I was thinking offering you this role. I clearly need someone more like... Jesus, who's that giant freak?
(At this point, Aronofsky turns to his television and sees the above image of a crazy, bare-chested Mickey Rourke strutting out of a courthouse. Aronofsky's eyes turn into dollar signs, or maybe wrestling rings, if that could be clearly conveyed in the area of a pupil.)
Mickey Rourke wires 'Wrestler' [Variety]
Nov 12 2007Indiana Jones Legos Reveal Key Scenes, Desperation
We've reached a new point of desperation for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull information. With no spy reports, stolen images, or script pages, we've turned to the Deepthroat of movie information, Lego, to provide us with cryptic clues in the names of their interlocking brick sets. Here are the names of the four new sets to be released in May, along with what could be the corresponding scenes:
1. 7624 Jungle Duel - Indiana Jones will, apparently, duel someone in an undetermined jungle.
2. 7625 River Chase - Someone will be chased on, or alongside, a river. Maybe Indiana Jones is chasing someone. Maybe someone is chasing Indiana Jones. Maybe it goes back and forth, like that scene from the "Rabbit of Seville" Looney Tunes.
3. 7626 Jungle Cutter - Indiana Jones applies a thick coating of Cutter to protect against the insects of the jungle.
4. 7627 Temple of the Crystal Skull - A kingdom and a temple? This thing is chock-full of crystal skulls!
Next up: What do Harrison Ford's droppings tell us about Indiana Jones's eating habits?
Lego Sets hin at Key Indy Scenes [Unofficial Indiana Jones Movie Blog]
Nov 12 2007Bay to 'Transformers' Fans: I Hate You and Will Deceive You
Thanks to the immense popularity of giant robots--and owing largely to the intense enthusiasm of fans--Transformers managed to become the third highest grossing film of this year, even beating out the films with pirates and boy wizards. So what does director Michael Bay have in mind to return the favor to these fanboys who created such a huge buzz for his film? F***ing with them as much as possible. As Bay told Rotten Tomatoes:
One thing I do know is I know how to screw them up more. We're going to leak a lot of false information all over the place. I now know their game. They're going to get a lot of script treatments that they think are going to be the script. They will never see the script. We've got scripts and treatments written up that we're going to leak. No one's going to know.
Way to go, Mike! That will teach these assholes to show undeserved enthusiasm at your next action-filled turd! Let them know that next time they show relentless interest in a film franchise long before its release, it sure as hell better not be yours. And how about you start sending some of the Transformers DVD cases out empty--or better yet, full of feces or anthrax or Bad Boys 2? Anything that will really telegraph "you've made me rich and successful beyond my wildest expectations, now F off, you stupid nerd."
Bay Prepares to Fake Out Transformers Fanboys [Rotten Tomatoes]
Nov 12 2007'The Argentine' Pictures Prove Che Doesn't Understand Guns
As these behind-the-scenes shots from Steven Soderbergh's The Argentine show, Benicio Del Toro seems to fully look the part of revolutionary Che Guevara. And while it's already acknowledged there will be a sequel, Guerilla, I think they also show promise for a third, Fred Claus-style movie that would focus on Che's bumbling brother, Chase.
Think about it: while Che (Del Toro) leads teams of guerrillas in a massive revolution, Chase (also Del Toro) fumbles around with his gun and tries desperately to stick to his orders to "stay put! And don't get into any trouble!" (Yeah, right! Not if I know Chase!) But when Che is captured by military forces, it's up to his half-wit brother to save the day (and Christmas?) by filling in for the revolutionary... and throwing Che t-shirts into the crowd?! Oh, Chase!
More evidence that this movie should be made is under the cut.
Continue Reading "'The Argentine' Pictures Prove Che Doesn't Understand Guns"
Nov 12 2007'Revolver' Trailer Sees Guy Ritchie Return to Cool, Edgy Form
When your most famous, most popular movies were your fast-paced, "in-your-face" criminal stories starring Jason Statham (we'll say your other movie was a flop starring your transvestite wife), how do you set your new fast-paced, "in-your-face" criminal story starring Jason Statham apart?
If you're Guy Ritchie, the appropriate answer is "by giving the usually-bald Jason Statham the hair of Bam Margera, then making Ocean's Eleven with lesser celebrities, but still title it after firearms like Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels."
In fairness, Revolver does look less obnoxiously hip than Snatch, and it must be smarter since it keeps drawing awkward chess analogies.
Revolver Trailer [Yahoo!]
Nov 12 2007'Major Movie Star' Trailer as Bad as Expected
Questions to ask yourself, and possibly yell at the screen, while watching the trailer to Major Movie Star:
Do you think they told Jessica Simpson she'd be playing a "movie star Britney Spears-like" character, so that she wouldn't catch on that she was playing herself?
Is the "everyone wants a piece of your pie" line meant as double entendre?
Steve Guttenberg? In a movie?
A self-proclaimed "major movie star" is impressed and shocked to learn she has $15 million dollars? Nothing else seems to indicate this takes place in 1950.
Since when does going broke mean you immediately sleep on the street (in front of an Army recruitment center)? Even if she was renting she'd get until the end of the month, right? Does she have no friends? Oh, right, it's to make it perfectly logical that she desperately joins the army.
Are these the jokes?
Is this all an elaborate plan to make Goldie Hawn's Private Benjamin look better?
Why?
This looks awful even by Jessica Simpson standards, which I didn't think existed. Still, I couldn't encourage you more to watch it, and it's under the cut.
Continue Reading "'Major Movie Star' Trailer as Bad as Expected"
Nov 12 2007'Astro Boy' Concept Art
With this concept art for the Astro Boy, I'm not sure if I'm more annoyed they're deciding to make concept art at all (are the 50 years worth of manga not enough?) or that they're making such pathetic little changes. More metal stuff on the arm gun? F***ing brilliant. If anything, make him less naked, or at least do something that would distinguish him from a cyborg Big Boy.
AstroBoy Concept Art and Director Interview [FirstShowing]
Nov 12 2007'Bee Movie' Takes Weekend Top Spot
1. Bee Movie - As it turns out, last week's box office win by American Gangster was not because it was the superior movie, but because people somehow missed the non-stop media barrage and didn't know there was a movie about cartoon bees. ($26 million)
2. American Gangster - Still doing well at $24.3 million, it could have done better were it not for rumors of a coming International Gangster.
3. Fred Claus - Failing to knock either of last week's top two from their spots with only $19 million, it seems people are waiting until closer to Christmas for this one. Or until chemicals and violent shaking have addled their brains enough--whichever comes first.
4. Lions for Lambs - $6.7 million is still a lot of people wanting to hear Robert Redford making boring, obvious political points.
5. Dan in Real Life - With his cut of this latest $5.9 million, Dane Cook should buy himself some new leather wristband things. You deserve it, Dane!
Weekend Box Office Results [Box Office Mojo]
