Oct 22 2007'Superman Returns' Writers Not Returning
Superman Returns writers Michael Dougherty and Dan Harris have decided not to come back to write Superman Returns Returns, leading to questions of if Bryan Singer will still direct and leaving Warner scrambling to take pitches from other potential writers. Here's what I've come up with:
- Lex Luthor shoots a special beam into the ocean that radically increases the number of great white sharks, while also giving them Kryptonite teeth. Superman has to fight these sharks, frequently employing a technique where he spins one shark around by its tail, using it to hit other sharks.
- It's discovered that a Kryptonian great white shark, orphaned like Superman, was raised by Earth sharks. Superman has to stop this shark's bullet-speed ravaging of a public beach, but it's hard because it's a Supershark, making it the equivalent battle of an Earth guy fighting an Earth shark. Very humanizing.
- Superman loses his powers, then has to fight a shark.
- Superman finds a new supervillain terrorizing the city with his giant teeth, massive size, and fins.
Any I missed?
'Superman' writers won't return [Variety]
Reader Comments
1. SB - October 22, 2007 4:03 PM
It sounds like they should just combine the general story line of the cartoon "Street Sharks" (see http://youtube.com/watch?v=NqGQyMF5a_0) with Superman, but make the sharks evil instead good. Or they could be good and then team up with Superman to fight some, other sharks that are actually evil.
Jawesome!
2. SB - October 22, 2007 4:04 PM
link combined with the parenthesis for some reason, here is a working version:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=NqGQyMF5a_0
3. SuperBad - October 22, 2007 4:44 PM
They left it a mess, cant blame them for not returning.
He's got a kid, the mom is with another guy and no one is sure whether he'll be there from one day to the next.
Maybe in the next one, he can develop a drug addiction and flash his privates at public places.
SUPERTRASH- THE MAN OF METH
4. The Moat - October 22, 2007 5:25 PM
-Luthor designs an army of nano-sharks powered by kryptonite. He injects it into Superman using a krytonite needle. Superman is incapacitated, leaving Luthor to wreak havok. Superman's son can't save the day, because... uh, I dunno. He was hit by a bus, or something. Instead, a nano-Roy-Scheider finds his way into Superman's Weaties and blows up the nano-sharks.
5. Christopher Reeves Ghost - October 22, 2007 5:30 PM
How about three new members of the Phantom Zone arrive and challenge Superman, who is forced to dig up George Reeves and Christopher Reeve to even the odds?
How about an elderly Superman who must face his greatest challenge of all-time... incontenence?
6. Mella - October 22, 2007 6:52 PM
Lois Lane breaks up with Cyclops to 'find herself'; Cyclops sues for custody, but loses when a DNA test provided by Maury Povich proves definitively that Cyclops is NOT the father; Lois ties to get five years of unpaid child support from Superman, who reminds her that he isn't technically gainfully employed, as his hero gig is pretty much pro-bono; sharks.
7. LenS - October 22, 2007 7:01 PM
Good. Now if they can just get that Pedo Singer arrested, they can start over ..... again.
The young boys of East Asia would be able to sleep in peace again. At least until Michael Jackson or John Travolta come visiting again.
8. Mac - October 22, 2007 9:02 PM
Lex Luthor convinces Metropolis that Superman is a square. In order to regain his strangle hold on the hearts and minds of his fellow citizens, he decides to jump a shark on water skis. However Luthor catches wind of the plan and fills the lake with liquid kryptonite.