Sep 28 2007'Karate Kid' to be Destroyed by Nine-Year-Old
I'm not one of these guys who things everything from his childhood is sacred. Looking back at G.I. Joe, Thundercats, Transformers, or any of these other '80s hits now being regurgitated by some Hollywood idiots, I have the presence of mind to say, "You know, maybe a show about anthropomorphic cats fighting a transforming mummy wasn't really that stellar to begin with." But with news that The Karate Kid is set to be remade with 9-year-old Will Smith spawn, Jaden, it raises an interesting question: what the f***?
Even ignoring how utterly unnecessary it is to revamp the timeless story of Daniel and Mr. Miyagi, how can it even be done with a nine-year-old kid? Most of the story was about Daniel trying to score, trying to drive, or trying not to get the hell beaten out of him, all of which would seem somewhat inappropriate when done by someone who doesn't have armpit hair. Will the violent fight scenes be replaced by cafeteria Yu-Gi-Oh card battles? And doesn't that misinformed statement alone show you how utterly unaware I am of what nine-year-olds are doing these days? Honestly, who cares what a nine-year-old does? All I can remember from the ages of 6 to 10 was playing kickball and throwing up. How can the trivial life of a nine-year-old possibly translate into the deep, dramatic story that is The Karate Kid?
And don't even get me started on remaking The Karate Kid, Part II. Jaden Smith wouldn't know The Glory of Love if Peter Cetera were singing him to sleep.
A Karate Kid Remake?! [IGN]
Reader Comments
1. Molly - September 28, 2007 5:28 PM
The thought of Will Smith doing a totally-arrogant-totally-crappy-cover of "The Glory of Love" makes my stomach hurt.
Ralph Macchio in 1984 is way cuter than Jayden.
God 1984 Ralph Macchio. So hot.
Who plays the Asian? If it's Chuck Norris, I think we should petition the studio to just name it Sidekicks 2: Some of the main actors from the Karate Kid and Sidekicks were dead.
2. Rose - September 28, 2007 5:35 PM
They would not effin dare.
The Karate Kid is SACRED, YOU HEAR ME?
3. thadarryl - September 28, 2007 9:12 PM
I think they need to remake some of these remakes. I was just watching the original 86 transformers movie, way cooler, although I did like this years version, the karate kid wow, jaden smith, that sounds as stupid as doing a new willie wonka movie with johnny depp..... oh yeah, sobs. don't make sense the karate kid is an institution, not a bank note please dear gods fof hollywood enough already
4. Juan Bena - September 28, 2007 10:09 PM
he better be trained by Bobby Lee!
5. Bobby - September 29, 2007 9:28 AM
I'm not a Karate kid fan, however it's an iconic movie. Maybe the rule for remakes should be "If you can go to any street in America and someone can quote a line from or they immediately recognize the line you're quoting, the movie cannot be remade".
The Karate kid is that kind of movie.
Also, I enjoy Will Smith, however I'm done with him trying to make his kid a movie star. Let Jaden struggle like all the good actors out there. That's how you prove yourself. Just stop!
6. Russ - September 30, 2007 11:06 AM
F Will Smith and his punk kid. No one touches that movie, you hear me!?
I can see it now...Recita will become South Central and Pat Morita will be the local homeless crack head. (I envision along the lines of Tyrone Biggums) Instead of the single greatest montage song of the 80's with 'You're the Best Around.' (Slightly edging out Rock IV's 'Hearts on Fire') we'll get some shitty white-friendly rap by either the kid, his dad, or even worse...both.
7. John Smith - September 30, 2007 5:09 PM
This sh*t is ruining my weekend. They mess with the Karate Kid, I'm going to crane kick that little sh*t.
8. Conor S - October 1, 2007 10:49 AM
Gettin crappy wit it!
9. insulted - October 3, 2007 2:49 AM
please tell me this rumor which is spreading like a dangerous computer virus is simply the work of some twisted, tasteless blogger spun out of control.