Just when I was worried Christmas wasn't coming this year, SlashFilm tells me American Pie Presents: Beta House is on its way (bypassing theaters, of course), providing the cinematic equivalent of gold, frankincense, and myrrh.
I don't what rock I was living under, but wasn't even aware there were fourth and fifth American Pies, let alone a sixth in the works. How many humpings of foodstuffs have I missed in my neglect? How many references to masturbating with a musical instrument were lost in my ignorance? And did you guys know there's also an American Pie song? It's a bit lengthy and repetitive.
Sadly, Eugene Levy will be reprising his role as Mr. Levenstein for the sixth time as well. Do you need drug money, Levsy? Is it an expensive operation? Not only are you willing to board a crashing plane, you're just as eager to lie down in the wreckage of one that's already hit rock bottom.