Aug 8 2007Semi-Pro Poster Surprises No One
What follows is an I Watch Stuff exclusive transcript of the pitch to New Line for Semi-Pro, as pitched by a 22-year-old male from the University of Michigan wearing a Pabst Blue Ribbon box as a hat.
"All right, bros, this shit's gonna be hilarious. Me and Tommy came up with this shit last night at Kojak's while playing X-Box. OK, you guys know Will Ferrell, right? Dude's fuckin' hilarious. You see Anchorman? Kojak can do that whole movie if you give him enough tequila. Funniest shit. Anyway, this movie's got Will Ferrell and he's playin' basketball, but it's funny 'cause he's not that good so he's just semi-pro. You get to see how he plays all shitty, like in Dodgeball. You guy seen Dodgeball? Shit's hilarious.
Anyhow, so he goes back to his shitty hometown to coach some other funny dudes--we were thinkin' Woody Harrelson, 'cause you know he smokes the reefer, that magician dude from Arrested Development, Andre 3000 'cause Hey Ya still rules, and a really hot Maura Tierney.
You guys seen Old School? It's definitely one of the best movies ever--shit's so hilarious, and Vaughn's my boy. We get the dude who wrote that to write this."
(At this point, another male, presumably "Tommy," adds to the pitch.)
"Hey, and I saw Ferrell on Conan the other night and he had this fuckin' hilarious afro, like Kojak's got. ...Oh, just a friend of ours. Anyway, we should definitely do something with that 'fro. Shit's hilarious."
End transcript.
Reader Comments
1. OperationGericht - August 8, 2007 12:35 PM
I'm glad Carrot Top is making a smooth transition to film.
2. Willravel - August 8, 2007 1:20 PM
Christ, Vince. That was pretty fucking hilarious. You actually made me laugh out loud, which makes this the first time I'll write "lol" and not die a little on the inside. My boss is pissed, though.
3. Bobby - August 8, 2007 2:22 PM
Will is the consummate actor. I appreciate the way he puts everything he has into becoming the person in that particular role.
In Talladega Nights, he played a idiot who ran around without clothes, Old School he played a idiot who ran around without clothes, Anchorman he played an idiot who ran around without clothes...........
No stuntman or special effects on that poster either. That my friends is genuine back hair. What a pro.
While I don't envy his genetic makeup, I do envy his paycheck.
4. Drbendy - August 8, 2007 2:30 PM
knock Knock
Who's there?
Will ferrell
Fuck off you cancerous cyst of a man, you have never been funny and your success is not down to talent but just a portent to the end of the world. Won't ferrell
5. wordnugz - August 8, 2007 2:39 PM
sounds tight bro
6. vanman - August 8, 2007 3:47 PM
Vince isn't here #2.
Will Ferrell is in bad need of a friend. A friend who would look him in the face, grab him by the shoulders, and yell "Stop it, you dumb fuck! Just Stop."
7. Willravel - August 8, 2007 4:52 PM
Yeah, I just call everyone Vince. Keeps things nice and simple. Right, Vince?
8. Lisa - August 8, 2007 6:05 PM
Will Ferrell is hilarious for no more than 5 minutes at any given time (which means I still get to say I like Stranger than Fiction without being a hypocrite, what with the dramatic bits in between the funny). Explains why my love of the man was severely diminished once he left SNL. Sorry Goby, I won't even see this movie for you.
9. proteon - August 8, 2007 6:47 PM
I think tennis would have been funnier.
10. papa bear - August 8, 2007 7:38 PM
If memory serves me correctly, this project was in development before Dodgeball was even out and was fast tracked once that was a hit.
The Pin Pong movie (blanking on the name right now) was whipped together about 2 weeks after Dodgeball on the other hand and is a blatant attempt to cash in on that audience. (the script was funny...though that was 6 drafts ago I'm sure)
11. Will Ferrell - August 9, 2007 8:06 PM
The Flight to Hell will have two movies, the first is Adam Sandler's Reign Over Me and the other will be Elf. Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton and Brittney Spears will be the flight attendants and George Bush Sr. and Jr. will be your pilots.
12. Tiffany - August 21, 2007 10:13 PM
I do not understand why people watch this shit. Will Ferrell was very rarely funny on SNL. I'll admit: I enjoyed Anchorman once I overlooked all the excessiveness. Other than that, everything Ferrell touches turns to hell. Its all the same jokes (which weren't funny the first time) and a lack of acting skill. Even seeing a poster of him makes me think homicidal thoughts.