Aug 24 2007Hitman Trailer B
There's something about this Hitman movie, and possibly the video game that I've never played, that's trying so desperately to be bad-ass that it's pathetic. The black suit, the unchanging demeanor, the slow deliberate movements, the bar code on his neck? What, were they out of trenchcoats and sunglasses? Give me a break.
Aug 24 2007Assassination of Jesse James Trailer #2
One my biggest flaws when judging a film, besides lack of basic knowledge and a general disdain for everything, is that there are certain genres that never seem to win me over. The biggest offender in this category is the Western. There's just something about the whole cowboy mentality, which some would refer to as manliness, that I find impossible to relate to. This has also been the overriding reason that Marlboro advertisements have been largely ineffective on me.
So imagine my surprise when, upon watching this trailer for The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, I found myself genuinely interested. And, even more surprising, I think it's Casey Affleck's performance pulling me in. In this two-and-a-half minute montage, he completely sells me on this awkward, desperate, pathetic, obsessive character. Now that's something I can relate to!
Aug 24 2007Run, Fat Boy, Run Full Trailer
Finally the painful taunting of your childhood has been brought into cinematic glory with Run, Fat Boy, Run, now with a full trailer. As I said before, I really think they made a misstep by not just filming a morbidly obese person as they (try to) run. Even with the varying comedic geniuses of Michael Ian Black, Simon Pegg, and Dylan Moran involved, the fat person running would definitely be funnier. As it stands, this looks to have the comedic potential of an episode of King of Queens except, again, less fat.
Aug 24 2007American Gladiators is returning to TV
Don't have a boner? Let me help you out with that. Variety reports that NBC has decided to resurrect American Gladiators. The new version will focus on the reality aspect of the show, such as the back stories of contestants as well as following their training, etc. The show will feature eight gladiators (four men and four women) though there's no word if any of the originals like Nitro or Turbo will return. Although I'm kind of hoping they just bring in wild gorillas, dress them up in spandex, and let them beat the contestants to death.
Check out the above clip for a lesson in awesome.
Aug 23 2007Toy-based Wizard of Oz on Its Way!
Todd McFarlane and History of Violence writer Josh Olson have revealed plans for a new take on The Wizard of Oz based on McFarlane's horror versions of the toys (above). This will allow the toymaker to make new toys based on the movie based on the toys.
The two went on to say Dorothy would actually be nothing at all like the hyper-sexualized bondage toy but be more of a bad-ass like Ripley in Alien, and the whole thing will have a "2007 wow factor" that will try to get the Lord of the Rings audience. If that means armies of thousands of Muchkins versus hordes of flying monkeys, I might just forgive the fact that McFarlane is still releasing Spawn toys for some reason. Honestly, who is buying these?
Aug 23 2007Natalie Martinez Chooses Death Race
Natalie Martinez will star as the romantic lead opposite Jason Statham in Paul W.S. Anderson's Death Race remake, says Hollywood Reporter. The film, which also stars Joan Allen, Ian McShane and Tyrese Gibson, takes place in a future where prisoners drive in crazy death rallies.
If you'd like to learn more about this film or the casting, turn to page 42. [Hollywood Reporter]
If you'd like to learn more about how Natalie Martinez looks nearly naked, turn to page 102. [Stuff]
Aug 23 2007Justice League to be Creepy CGI?
IESB is reporting that the planned Justice League movie will be done as a CGI motion-capture film, giving it the same creeppy, too-realistic-but-not-quite look as this Beowulf trailer. Though it will take longer, this will help to avoid conflict with the current Batman/Superman franchises, give the director more options in actor choice, and give the movie a larger scale without a larger cost. Plus, adding CGI favorite Shrek to the line-up will appear now seamless--and HILARIOUS!
Aug 23 2007Alien Versus Predator Gets New Title
If you thought the timeless struggle between Aliens and Predators was over, you're in for a big surprise come Christmas Day when the two face off again! The follow-up to Alien Vs. Predator (or as my tattoo reads, "AvP") has gone through a variety of names, from AvP2, to the Christmasy Alien vs. Predator: No Peace on Earth, to the subtle Aliens vs. Predator. I heard them all and thought, man, this is going to be just as bad as the first.
I couldn't have been more wrong! Now they've settled on Alien vs. Predator: Requiem, which tells me this film is going to really artistic and beautiful, not an idiotic hypothetical situation created in the minds of fanboys. With a name like requiem, how could it not be good?! Find out Christmas Day!
Fox sings Alien Vs. Predator - Requiem [ComingSoon.net]
Aug 23 2007Martin Scorsese's Shine a Light Trailer
Like everyone, I love Martin Scorsese, but this trailer for his Rolling Stone's concert documentary Shine a Light is doing nothing for me. The film covers two nights at the Beacon last last year, with cameos from Christina Aguilera, Jack White, Bill Clinton, and frequent appearances by Scorsese himself. With the release pushed to next April, here are some changes I suggest would make this better:
1. If it was 1970.
2. If the aged man resembling Mick Jagger weren't getting so disgustingly sexual while singing with Christina Aguilera. Is he trying to make David Bowie jealous?
3. Less of Marty and Mick pretending there was dramatic, behind-the-scenes conflict.
4. More of Keith Richards snorting things.
5. Robin Williams voicing Mick Jagger.
I would have really preferred something more like another No Direction Home than this. You?
Martin Scorsese's Shine a Light Trailer [Stereogum]
Aug 22 2007Logan's Run Director is Nobody
Commercial director Joseph Kosinksi will make his feature debut with Logan's Run, an adaptation of the 1967 sci-fi thriller. It is said the film will go more low-tech with the technology and stay closer to the book than the 1976 adaptation, which tells the story of a future society that demands voluntary death at a certain age, just as cancer does in our society.
SlashFilm was kind enough to put together a sample of his work for viewing, and it's pretty typical artsy commercial bullshit that probably wins ad awards. And what world does this guy live in that every commercial is over a minute long?
In the above clip, a woman living in an ice world impatiently waits for her sentient car husband to return home. Her robot dog recognizes the distinctive sound of approaching downtempo electronica that signals its car-master's approach. In the end, we discover that we can purchase this sentient car from Saab dealerships.
More clips with explanations below the cut.
Aug 22 2007Darjeeling Limited Opening with Short
Why did no one tell me Wes Anderson's new film The Darjeeling Limited will be opened by a 12-minute short, Hotel Chevalier, which will work as an epilogue, telling a love story between Natalie Portman and Jason Schwartzman? Is it because you knew I'd start giddily flapping my arms, squealing, and acting in other ways that would be humiliating in your presence? If that's the case, then thank you for saving us both from some unnecessary embarrassment.
Aug 22 2007Control Trailer
Like every other rock 'n roll suicide/drug overdose, it's been decided Joy Division's Ian Curtis needs a movie about his life. More surprisingly, this one actually looks good enough that it may have been worth Ian Curtis dying if that's what it took to get the movie made. I mean, we still have New Order, right?
World Exclusive Control Trailer [Yahoo! Movies UK]
Aug 22 2007I'm Not There Teaser Trailer
Maybe I hadn't been paying enough attention, but I hadn't realized until this trailer that Todd Haynes' Bob Dylan biopic was a mix of exaggerated fact and imagined fiction. Foolishly, I thought the turbulent life of one the most amazing performers ever would stand on its own ground without making shit up and casting six actors to play him. Luckily, Haynes seems to have made it pretty easy for us to guess which are the "imagined" parts. Now I'm not a Dylan historian, but I'm going to go out on a limb and guess the part where he's literally floating from a tether on his ankle, where he's riding through the woods on a horse, and the part with the arbitrary giraffe didn't happen, whereas the parts where he's riding around in a car or singing did happen. Please correct me if there was an instance where he did, in fact, float.
With that said, it looks kind of good.
Some of the YouTube links are being taken down, so the original IGN link is here if needed.
Aug 21 2007Ryan Renolds to play The Flash
Ryan Reynolds was rumored to play The Flash in a big screen adaptation but the project basically fell through. Now that a JLA movie is in the works, he tells MTV News that he may still play the role, just not in a solo movie:
"'The Flash' isn't dead at all. There's talk of it being a JLA movie, the Justice League having them all together. And then there's other talk of doing a 'Flash' movie with [director] Shawn Levy."Rumors of a Justice League movie have gained momentum in recent weeks. Now we're hearing it straight from one of the potential stars' mouths. When asked if he thought the JLA film might happen first, Reynolds told us, "[it] might, yeah. I don't really know how much I'm allowed to talk about that stuff. But I'm sure they'll figure out something. It's no secret that they have a JLA script and it's a project that's in development - the contents of which, who knows. We'll see."
I was the front-runner to play The Flash, but the producers said my abs were too defined. Guess they decided to go with somebody who wasn't quite as fit.
Aug 21 2007Wilson, Aniston in Marmaduke-Style Disaster
As described in the pun and alliteration-filled Variety headline, "Wilson, Aniston fetch Fox feature," Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston are going to be in a movie with a dog. Like Marmaduke or Beethoven before him, the titular dog of Marley & Me is an incorrigible canine that wreaks havoc, gets kicked out of obedience school, destroys things, and yet somehow isn't abandoned or put-down by the owners. Unlike Marmaduke or Beethoven, however, Marley is a Labrador Retriever, and thus isn't comically large. This subtle difference is what separates this future work of art from that frivolous rubbish.
Wilson, Aniston fetch Fox feature [Variety]
Aug 21 2007My Boy Jack Proves Harry Potter is Freak
Take one part Gollum, one part The Penguin, one part Eddie Munster, add giant eyebrows to make Daniel Radcliffe as Rudyard Kipling's missing son in My Boy Jack. The movie will air in the UK in November, but the images will haunt you for a lifetime.
A Few More New My Boy Jack Photos [Danradcliffe.com]
Aug 20 2007Christian Bale Shows His Dylan
Here are the latest stills from Todd Haynes' Bob Dylan biopic I'm Not There, where we've seen Cate Blanchett , Heath Ledger, Richard Gere, and now Christian Bale doing their best impressions of the songster. With Bale looking more like some dude about to play a John Mayer hit at an open mic night, who would have thought Blanchett would be the most convincing? And more importantly, could she also do a better impression of a dude at an open mic playing John Mayer?
A larger close-up is under the cut.
Aug 20 2007Cassandra's Dream Trailer
The trailer to Woody Allen's Cassandra's Dream has gone online, and actually looks really, really good. Perhaps, Mr. Allen, it's time to start loving you as more than just someone to make me laugh while justifying my crippling neuroses and see you as a dramatic storyteller. Still, I hope there's a scene where Ewan McGregor and Colin Farrell have a wacky time cooking lobsters.
Aug 20 2007James McAvoy cast as Scotty
The Sunday Mirror reports James McAvoy has been cast as Scotty in JJ Abrams' new Star Trek prequel. The rumor has been circulating for awhile now, but this is the first time it's been confirmed. I don't really know anything about this James McAvoy guy, but I still say they should've gone with my idea: digging up the original Scotty's corpse and moving him around like a puppet. You know, put sunglasses on him Weekend At Bernie's style. Academy Awards here we come!
A semi-new poster for the Star Trek film after the jump.
Aug 20 2007Eleven injured on set of Valykrie
Eleven extras were injured during the filming of Tom Cruise's new movie Valkyrie when they fell off the back of a truck. A bolt on the side panel of the truck apparently came loose as the vehicle turned, throwing the eleven extras off. I hear this is the second worst injury in Hollywood, right after the time Rosie O'Donnell tried to do jumping jacks while taping an episode of The View.
