Aug 10 2007Hitman teaser poster
MovieWeb has the teaser poster for the new Hitman movie which comes out October 12th. I'm a pretty big fan of the game, but the teaser trailer makes the movie look like it strays from the video game's silent assassin theme. My hopes are high, but judging from the poster, Agent 47 really needs to invest in a new wall. Or at least turn down the lights in the next room.
EDIT: Added a picture from the Hitman: Blood Money game which the poster is based off of after the jump.
Aug 9 2007Lars and the Real Girl Trailer
Lars and the Real Girl, written by Six Feet Under scribe Nancy Oliver, stars Ryan Gosling as a lonely, awkward man turned delusional freak when he purchases a sex doll and starts acting like she's real. Sadly, the summary provided makes no mention of why he's acting like Napoleon Dynamite or where I can get myself a sex doll, leaving me at a loss for both the lead character's motivations and for something plastic and womanly to stick my D in.
Official Trailer [Apple]
Aug 9 2007Superbad Interview Meltdown
It's good to see the Superbad group are following-up all the fake cast freak-out videos made for Knocked Up with another selection of clips leading up to the release. This one features a press junket with Michael Cera and Jonah Hill where a British interviewer's questions send Hill off the handle. (Psst! That interviewer is director Edgar Wright!)
Warning: the language is frequently unsafe for workplaces, small children, most grandmas, Christian extremists, goody-goodies, and anyone else who hates a good F-bomb.
Aug 9 2007Cloverfield Call Sheet May Reveal Ending
Even though no one knows what it's really about, or even what the name is, the final scene to J.J. Abrams' top secret Cloverfield (or whatever you want to call it) giant monster project may have been leaked. A call sheet collected from the final day of shooting, cleverly hidden under the codename "Cheese," has revealed that... (hidden under cut so people won't say I spoiled something, though it's really not much of a spoiler.)
EDIT: Got a letter from Paramount asking us to take down the call sheet. Which sucks, but at least confirms that it was real.
Aug 9 2007Ledger and Gere Doing Their Best Dylans
Since Todd Haynes announced his Bob Dylan biopic I'm Not There would involve several actors playing the folk star at various points in his life, I've been wondering how the diverse cast would pull it off. First came shots and footage of Cate Blanchett, which looked surprisingly believable. Now we get our first good look at Heath Ledger and Richard Gere. The above shot Ledger has me again thinking it's a pretty decent match, but this shot of Gere just makes me think, "Oh, Richard Gere is homeless. And wearing boots from the world of Tolkien."
Aug 9 2007The Simpsons Movie went through 166 drafts
According to Deadline Hollywood, Jim Brooks, the producer/writer for The Simpsons, claims The Simpsons Movie screenplay went through 166 drafts. Which just makes absolutely no sense. I mean The Simpsons Movie was decent enough, but for 166 drafts you'd expect liquid gold to pour out of your eyes after watching it. If I had to guess I would've gone with two, three drafts tops.
Aug 8 2007Be Kind Rewind Official Trailer
Yahoo has the official trailer for Michel Gondry's (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind) latest film, Be Kind Rewind. Here's the official description of the movie:
Jerry (Jack Black), a junkyard worker who attempts to sabotage a power plant that he believes is melting his brain. But when his plan goes awry, the magnetic field that he creates accidentally erases all of the videotapes in a local video store where his best friend Mike (Mos Def) works. Fearing that the mishap will cost Mike his job, the two friends team up to keep the store's only loyal customer - a little old lady with a tenuous grasp on reality - from realizing what has happened by recreating and re-filming every movie that she decides to rent.
I put up some screen captures of the various movies they try to remake after the cut. If you can name them all without looking at the trailer you get a free hot dog. To collect the hot dog just stop by your local 7-Eleven, grab a hot dog, and walk out. And if anybody stops you just say, "It's cool, man, I won this." They'll understand.
Aug 8 2007Carla Gugino is Sally Jupiter
Casting for Zack Snyder's Watchmen adaptation continues, with Carla Gugino joining the cast as Sally Jupiter, the original Silk Spectre. The actress is known recently for her role as the sexy and naked Lucille in Sin City and the sexy and three-dimensional mom in Spy Kids 3D.
As if I didn't have enough reasons to want to see this movie already, now I have to add carnal lust to the mix. Even though sometimes her head looks like a doll's, I love it all the same.
Aug 8 2007Anton Yelchin Joins Star Trek
J.J. Abrams has added one more name to his Star Trek prequel crew with actual Russian Anton Yelchin taking the role of Chekhov, the Enterprise's navigator. You probably saw Yelchin in his recent role as the kidnapped kid in Alpha Dog, the one the blonde girl strangely identifies as "stolen boy" in the trailer. The actor is twelve years younger than the film's Spock, Zachary Quinto, which seems like a larger gap in age than I would have expected, though I know nothing about Star Trek ages and have no reason for thinking that. Still, it's given me hope for a toddler Sulu, which will be adorable when he tries to fly the ship and can't reach the pedals.
Aug 8 2007Semi-Pro Poster Surprises No One
What follows is an I Watch Stuff exclusive transcript of the pitch to New Line for Semi-Pro, as pitched by a 22-year-old male from the University of Michigan wearing a Pabst Blue Ribbon box as a hat.
"All right, bros, this shit's gonna be hilarious. Me and Tommy came up with this shit last night at Kojak's while playing X-Box. OK, you guys know Will Ferrell, right? Dude's f***in' hilarious. You see Anchorman? Kojak can do that whole movie if you give him enough tequila. Funniest shit. Anyway, this movie's got Will Ferrell and he's playin' basketball, but it's funny 'cause he's not that good so he's just semi-pro. You get to see how he plays all shitty, like in Dodgeball. You guy seen Dodgeball? Shit's hilarious.
Anyhow, so he goes back to his shitty hometown to coach some other funny dudes--we were thinkin' Woody Harrelson, 'cause you know he smokes the reefer, that magician dude from Arrested Development, Andre 3000 'cause Hey Ya still rules, and a really hot Maura Tierney.
You guys seen Old School? It's definitely one of the best movies ever--shit's so hilarious, and Vaughn's my boy. We get the dude who wrote that to write this."
(At this point, another male, presumably "Tommy," adds to the pitch.)
"Hey, and I saw Ferrell on Conan the other night and he had this f***in' hilarious afro, like Kojak's got. ...Oh, just a friend of ours. Anyway, we should definitely do something with that 'fro. Shit's hilarious."
End transcript.
Aug 7 2007Jennifer Connelly (et al.) Not That Into You
Jennifer Connelly has joined Kevin Connolly, Bradley Cooper, Justin Long and Ginnifer Goodwin in negotiations to star with Drew Barrymore in what sounds like an absolutely terrible movie. The terrible writers of Never Been Kissed have adapted the book He's Just Not That Into You, written by the terrible writers of Sex and the City, into what they're calling--honest to god--a "Traffic of comedy." Yes, someone finally had the vision to get rid of all the drug trafficking nonsense in the Best Picture nominee and infuse it with that patented Sex and the City wittiness that makes the show unwatchable unless you're actually living their life.
I apologize if you're really into Sex and the City and you take offense to this, but I thought it would be more offensive to actually assume someone likes Sex and the City.
Aug 7 2007Good Luck Chuck Poster Muddled Together Again
The graphics department for Good Luck Chuck, Dane Cook's latest attempt to be funny, is continuing its trend of seamlessly editing together shots from different photo sessions. While I understand that it would be impossible for this shot to occur naturally, as Jessica Alba could never give such an adorable look to this douchebag, couldn't they at least hack this thing together in a more believable manner? I mean, kudos for cutting off the obnoxious hand gesture Cook is surely doing with his left hand, but this is ridiculous. Are they wafer thin or somehow molecularly fused? What is this entirely metallic world they're living in?
Better than your last effort though, boys.
Aug 7 2007Tom Cruise Taking Star Trek?
A trusted source of IGN has said J.J. Abrams is looking for an A-list star cameo in his Star Trek prequel, and is currently hoping to pull Tom Cruise in for the role of Captain Christopher Pike, Kirk's predecessor. I can't think of exactly how to word the hilarious connection between Star Trek and his goofy, space-based religion, so please do your best to come up with something. Bonus points for references to Oprah's couch, storing Katie Holmes in a pod, or Xenu.
Aug 6 2007Superbad Penis Drawings Clip
This clip is exactly what the title implies, making it unsafe for workplaces that don't allow penis drawings, but is well worth watching in your private, penis-drawing-friendly time. Prior to viewing I had no idea it was possible to draw penises in so many ways, and believe me, I've tried.
Aug 6 2007Tom Hanks Stretching for Fahrenheit 451?
Will Tom Hanks lead Frank Darabont's adaptation of the Bradbury classic Fahrenheit 451? So says an AICN tipster, who claims the actor will play the novel's fireman protagonist Guy Montag. If the rumor proves true, it will remain to be seen if Hanks can pull off playing a sort of "everyman" role. And if so, will the moviegoers be willing to look past his parts in Bosom Buddies and Bachelor Party to see him as a different character? God I hope so! I, for one, like this Tom Hanks fellow, and I think he should be getting more famous leading roles like this.
Aug 6 2007Daniel Radcliffe in My Boy Jack
Some new pictures have turned up from the set of My Boy Jack, in which Daniel Radcliffe plays the missing son of Rudyard Kipling. I've already seen a few people go on about how he looks like a little S.S. officer or mustache-less Hitler, but I think there's one thing he much more closely resembles here, and that thing is an asshole.
Aug 6 2007Sydney White Trailer
Finally someone has made an original movie where, in an original story, a group of caricatured, snotty, blond, rich girls are taken down by a group of (original) nerd characters, all while an original pretty girl who befriends the nerds scores the unique attractive guy character that the lead original snotty girl wants. Why hadn't someone thought to combine these elements yet?
You can see it all in the above trailer for Sydney White, complete with the most insincere intro possible by Amanda Bynes.
Aug 6 2007Indiana Jones IV Teaser Poster
Possible interpretations of the new Indiana Jones IV teaser poster:
1) Indiana Jones's storage company is really shitty, so much so that rather than place his belongings in a crate they just balance them precariously on the corner.
2) Indiana Jones owns a crate, which he also dresses as himself.
3) The part of Indiana Jones is now being played by a large wooden crate.
4) Indiana Jones is starting his own line of signature fedoras and whips along the lines of the popular "Property of (Sports Team)" t-shirts.
5) Carmen Sandiego is now into the BDSM scene, is a male, and is back.
6) A befuddled old Harrison Ford trapped himself in a box.
