Ridley Scott to Direct Vampire Movie
Adrian Grenier looks way different in person
If you ask me, vampire movies jumped the shark right around the time Queen of the Damned came out. Apparently, Ridley Scott disagrees and will be directing a screen adaptation of the incomplete manuscript The Passage (seriously? we're optioning movie adaptations of books that haven't even been published yet?).
[The Passage] is a postapocalyptic vampire story set in 2016. The dark tale revolves around a U.S. government project gone awry that turn a group of experimental subjects -- condemned inmates plucked from death row -- into highly infectious vampires. Meanwhile, an orphan named Amy discovers that she has unusual powers, seemingly related to the crisis that quickly overtakes civilized society.
Wow, a main character with a special power destined to save humanity? There's a story that's never been told before. It's sort of like Star Wars meets the Matrix meets Harry Potter meets every science fiction movie ever made. Guess what, A-holes? YOU'RE NOT SPECIAL. I promise.
They should just make an Entourage movie. Now there's an original vampire story. Hollywood, devoid of new ideas and having sold its soul to the devil, lives in a perpetual state of living death and has to suck its own penis for nourishment. You think I'm kidding? Let E try to stand in direct sunlight and let's see what happens.