Elijah Kelley Oscar Watch
Desperately trying to avoid a "black guys love fat white chicks" joke here...
VH1 is reporting the Elijah Kelley will play Sammy Davis Jr. in an upcoming biopic. I didn't really know who Elijah Kelley was before today, but internet searches have led me to believe that he is an attractive black man with really nice teeth who looks like he smells nice. He's sort of what I wish I looked like.
Irregardless, this news can mean only one thing: Elijah Kelley will be winning an Oscar for best actor. I know the movie hasn't come out yet, but let's look at the facts here, people: He's playing a beloved, dead, black entertainer who battles racism and has a glass eye. Unless another movie comes out about a gay retarded clown musician living in a WWII-era Jewish ghetto, this one's pretty much a lock. The academy loves actors who play real people, because they're not very smart or creative, and they don't know much about acting; the easiest way to judge acting is to be able to compare performance to the real thing. Basically, they love a good impressionist. If Jimmy Fallon or Darrell Hammond ever turn to drama, they might runaway with the awards every year.