Jul 23 2007Crap Rules Box Office, Travolta Rules My Nightmares
Despite a heavy-handed marketing effort, Hairspray couldn't compete with worse-reviewed Chuck & Larry or Harry Potter.
If people are looking for a reason why, they need look no further than the picture of John Travolta in drag above. I don't care how good you tell me this movie is, that is the scariest thing I've ever seen. I had a nightmare that I was buried alive inside a coffin with the re-animated corpse of Tammie Faye and it was less scary than that (too soon?).
I would rather see Knüt the polar bear get electrocuted to death by Michael Vick than see two hours of John Travolta in drag. I would rather fall asleep with Shia LaBeouf gently nibbling my earlobe than see this movie. Okay, maybe that last one's not such a good example, but still man, like, creepy.
Reader Comments
1. Vink is Juan Bena - July 23, 2007 4:42 PM
Wow wow wee! Travolta has tantilizing titties while Jessica Biel has man shoulders.
2. joflo - July 23, 2007 5:30 PM
who is writing this commentary? you are officially my hero now.
3. threebabygirls - July 23, 2007 8:26 PM
Yes, it's too soon to use Tammy Faye.
4. jamesgoonan - July 24, 2007 7:27 PM
#3, I never got to use her while she was alive, I sure the hell am not going to give up a chance while her body is still a lil warm!