Big Budget Troll
Bloody Disgusting is reporting a rumor (whatever the hell that means) that Troll is going to get a big budget remake. Watching the above clip might make you excited for something like that, but think about it, what would a big budget remake of this be like? Well, first they'd replace the random B-listers like Sonny Bono, and the troll would probably end up being played by Eva Longoria. Then they'd take out the awesome lo-fi effects and replace it with CGI. And instead of something disturbing and hilarious, you'll get a mediocre video game. Charm of the original: lost. See also: Hairspray.
It's just like that neighbor girl. The doll you make from her hair will never quite smell like the original. *sigh* Sometimes I really wish I hadn't killed her.