Jul 20 2007The State Finally Coming to DVD
After over ten years of my unrequested, drunken quoting of lines from The State, my friends who didn't have cable as kids will finally know what I'm talking about when the MTV sketch comedy show comes to DVD. What those friends don't realize is that, while it's true they'll at least be clued in on the jokes, it will not deter my drunken ramblings, after which I'll then surely want to show them my favorite clips from the five-disc set, forgetting that I already had earlier in the night.
Unfortunately there's not yet a release date, so I'll still be shouting "I wanna dip my balls in it" with no apparent explanation for some time to come.
Jul 20 2007Ridley Scott to Direct Vampire Movie
Adrian Grenier looks way different in person
If you ask me, vampire movies jumped the shark right around the time Queen of the Damned came out. Apparently, Ridley Scott disagrees and will be directing a screen adaptation of the incomplete manuscript The Passage (seriously? we're optioning movie adaptations of books that haven't even been published yet?).
[The Passage] is a postapocalyptic vampire story set in 2016. The dark tale revolves around a U.S. government project gone awry that turn a group of experimental subjects -- condemned inmates plucked from death row -- into highly infectious vampires. Meanwhile, an orphan named Amy discovers that she has unusual powers, seemingly related to the crisis that quickly overtakes civilized society.
Wow, a main character with a special power destined to save humanity? There's a story that's never been told before. It's sort of like Star Wars meets the Matrix meets Harry Potter meets every science fiction movie ever made. Guess what, A-holes? YOU'RE NOT SPECIAL. I promise.
They should just make an Entourage movie. Now there's an original vampire story. Hollywood, devoid of new ideas and having sold its soul to the devil, lives in a perpetual state of living death and has to suck its own penis for nourishment. You think I'm kidding? Let E try to stand in direct sunlight and let's see what happens.
Jul 20 2007Gavin Hood to Direct Wolverine
Gavin had mixed feelings; he'd never before won an award and passed a kidney stone on the same day.
Gavin Hood has been announced as the director of Wolverine, the X-Men spinoff starring Hugh Jackman. Hood is a dirty South African best known for writing and directing Tsotsi. I haven't seen Tsotsi, so I can't really speak to his competence as a director, but I do know that Afrikaans sounds really silly.
X-Men 3 director Brett Ratner was originally attached to the project, but split with producers after insisting Wolverine be played by Chris Tucker. I also saw him kick a pigeon once. True story.
Jul 20 2007Seth Rogen Takes Green Hornet
Columbia Pictures appears to have a lot of faith in Seth Rogen since the success of Knocked Up: according to Variety, they've just given him writing/acting duty on the long-discussed Green Hornet project. Once rumored as a vehicle for typically-handsome leads George Clooney, Mark Wahlberg and Jake Gyllenhaal, the dashing masked millionaire is now apparently more of an awkward, chubby guy with curly hair.
Don't get me wrong, I like Seth Rogen, but I'm not sure a classic character like Green Hornet should necessarily be more out of shape than I am. If we don't maintain Green Hornet's serious role as a monument to handsome white male superiority over lesser races we use as personal man servants, we'll only have Fantasy Island and a handful of other examples.
Jul 20 2007Darjeeling Limited Poster
With the deliberate photography, quirky props and costumes, fine attention to detail, and three distinctive noses, it must be the poster to Wes Anderson's The Darjeeling Limited. I could pretend I'm not completely enamored with this, but then I worry no one will send me tickets to the New York Film Festival (Darjeeling is opening it), which I'm fairly certain will happen if I keep waiting patiently.
Supposedly the trailer will be attached to Once and Sunshine this weekend, so I'll have to head out to Sunshine, since I'm slightly more of a nerd than a wuss.
Jul 19 2007The Coreys Are Still Acting
In a clip faker than a hooker's orgasm (though the crying is usually genuine), Corey Feldman tells Corey Haim about the Lost Boys sequel and that he's not going to be in it. If it were anyone else, I'd say "Buck up, kid, you dodged a bullet on this one, trust me." But even a crappy, direct-to-DVD movie directed by a guy named "PJ" is better than playing on a Casio keyboard and listfully staring out the window.
No word on whether the Sax Man will be back for part 2. I'd rent it for that.
Jul 19 2007Emmies Nominate Stuff, Continue to Suck
Ugh, shouldn't have watched that second episode of Two and a Half Men
The Emmy nominations came out today, and the first nom for best comedy series is Entourage. I think that really says it all. That tool carnival full of Hollywood smelling its own farts makes me urinate pus. The Emmy statue should just be a cherub with dysentery vomiting from the eyes.
On another note, this is the 59th annual Emmy awards. Uh, what the hell were people watching in 1948? I heard Snow cleaned up that year. He was a dope rapper.
I'll make ya boom boom do-oown...
Jul 19 2007Tom Cruise is a Nazi, Homosexual
"Thetaaaaaaaaaan!!"
Okay, so mainly this is all just an excuse to repost this totally sweet picture of Tom Cruise and Col. Klink, but still. The first stills from Valkyrie have hit the web. You can tell Tom Cruise has really mastered the nazi art of leaning back on your heels and looking constipated.
In case you haven’t been reading (don’t act like you’ve got better things to do), Valkyrie is a song Wagner wrote about gay unicorns or some shit, and Valkyrie is the story of the German general who tried to assassinate Hitler, and marks the first re-teaming of director Bryan Singer and writer Chris McQuarrie since The Usual Suspects.
I’m not the biggest Cruise fan, but I’d sit through a two-hour Singer/McQuarrie movie about my own bowel movements. Then again, I’d probably sit through an Adam Shankman movie about my own bowel movements. What can I say, I’m fascinated by my own stool. Sue me.
Jul 19 2007Death Sentence Poster
This new poster for Death Sentence, a Comic-Con exclusive, reminds me of:
1. The cover art for Reservoir Dogs.
2. Sin City artwork.
3. The time I was raped by a well hung, well dressed albino.
Jul 19 2007Big Budget Troll
Bloody Disgusting is reporting a rumor (whatever the hell that means) that Troll is going to get a big budget remake. Watching the above clip might make you excited for something like that, but think about it, what would a big budget remake of this be like? Well, first they'd replace the random B-listers like Sonny Bono, and the troll would probably end up being played by Eva Longoria. Then they'd take out the awesome lo-fi effects and replace it with CGI. And instead of something disturbing and hilarious, you'll get a mediocre video game. Charm of the original: lost. See also: Hairspray.
It's just like that neighbor girl. The doll you make from her hair will never quite smell like the original. *sigh* Sometimes I really wish I hadn't killed her.
Jul 19 2007The Hottest State Trailer
I would have thought any movie written by Ethan Hawke, directed by Ethan Hawke, and based on the novel by Ethan Hawke would be far too Ethan Hawkey for my taste, by which I mean shitty. But this trailer, though pretty typical of coming-of-age indie dramedies, looks surprisingly decent. And even more surprising is that Hawke was able to recognize that he's gotten far too haggard to play the 20-something protagonist. You got out at the right time, Uma.
Jul 19 2007Last Legion Poster
We posted the Last Legion trailer yesterday, now we've got the poster. Ever since Rome on HBO and my raging man crush on Marc Antony, I've had a thing for men in skirts. Except for John Travolta, he makes my eyes bleed. Oh, and Uncle Larry, who could also stand to hit the elliptical trainer.
... (keep going, you're doing good) ... (great stuff, feel the burn) ... (make this count) ... (if you quit early you only cheat yourself)... ... ... ... ... (two more) ... ... (great job, you did it. hit the showers) *ass pat*
That was just me keeping in shape with my ellipsical trainer.
Jul 18 2007Sonny Chiba Retires, Kills Bull
That's Asian talk for "Who wants a mustache ride?"
In honor of Sonny Chiba's impending retirement from action movies, I'm posting a totally kickass clip of him karate chopping a bull to death (after the jump). It really needs no commentary. And trust me, even if you're not into it at first, it gets good at the end.
Jul 18 2007Big Boi Embarrasses Himself on Film
But "Who's Your Caddy?", really? I would've gone with "Caddyblack", or "Blackyshack". I haven't read any early reviews, but last month, after an early showing was cancelled due to "technical difficulties" writer/director Don Michael Paul said, "Our movie is playing very, very well. But I'm a perfectionist, so I would prefer that it's done before it's shown to a festival audience."
Well, sir, judging by the trailer, you have indeed created true perfection.
Jul 18 2007TV Ratings Continue to Baffle Me
You just know that somewhere, a bar on the Jersey shore is missing a janitor and a best customer.
Last week, The Singing Bee, an NBC game show hosted by Joe Fat One, formerly of NSync, drew 13 million viewers.
According to long-suffering NBC, The Singing Bee was the highest-rated summer-series debut among young adults, aged 18-49, since the late Meet My Folks made a good first impression back in July 2002.
That's right, a show I hadn't even heard of until today was the most popular of its kind in FIVE YEARS. Oh, and it's another show about amateur singers.
I don't get it, are there parts of America that don't have karaoke bars? Because I'll you what, if I'm going to listen to the IHOP hostess sing "You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin'" I better be sitting in front of a Scotch the size of a punchbowl. Better yet, I'd like to star in my own reality show, called "Punch Bowl".
Jul 18 2007Best of Bay!
I'll be honest though, my hatred of Michael Bay has greatly diminished since Transformers. It's like he finally realized what he was all about and played it up for entertainment value. It's nice when people stop pretending to be something they're not. Just like someday Jessica Biel is going to realize I'm her true love and make love to me instead of pretending I'm the creepy guy outside her window masturbating to the smell of her hairbrush that I bought on Ebay.
Jul 18 2007The Shark is Still Working Trailer
Jaws fans will want to check out the new trailer to The Shark is Still Working from the official site. This as-yet-undistributed documentary goes through the making of, difficulties, reaction, and continuing popularity of the movie that defined the blockbuster. No news on if it covers how Richard Dreyfuss somehow became a crazy meth head.
Jul 18 2007September Dawn Trailer
Jul 18 2007Two New Shots from John Rambo
It's been a while since we've heard from our favorite shell-shocked, headbanded war hero, John Rambo. He's got a self-titled fourth film coming out next year, so what's he been up to? Well, as these new shots show us, mostly just shooting a bow and arrow at mermaids, but occasionally breaking up the monotony by confusing a live snake and a wooden dowel for the aforementioned bow and arrow. In other words: madness!
Jul 18 2007Chuck & Larry Ripoff Controversy
According to JoBlo, which cites an article in Variety from 2000, which describes an earlier incarnation of Chuck & Larry that was to star Will Smith and be directed by Tom Shadyac, if anything, the ripoff was the other way around.
In either case, it's a bit like trying to figure out who did one of Carlos Mencia's bits first. The fact that someone with taste that bad chose to steal from you just reflects badly on you. Sometimes I get drunk and pee myself, but when I do, the neighbor kid with Down Syndrome doesn't sue me for royalties.
Jul 18 2007The Last Legion Trailer
Despite starring a huge Bollywood star, Colin Firth and Thomas Sangster, and telling the story of The Sword in the Stone, I assure you this trailer is not one of those popular "mash-ups" where they've mixed Love Actually with King Arthur and that Little Superstar character, dubbing it "Little Love Excaliburly." It might be better if it were though.
In better quality here.
Jul 18 2007Shrek the Fifth is Coming!
Remember two months ago when Jeffrey Katzenberg said there would be one more Shrek, insisting he'd always envisioned a fourth and final story of the character's origin? Well, Richard Sullivan, a Dreamworks animation rep, has now essentially told the LA Times, "Did he say four? He meant five--but then that's definitely, probably it." That's right--they're making a fifth Shrek!
I know that a lot of you must be thinking that they're only doing this because Shrek has made enough money to fund the scientific creation of a real, living and breathing Shrek that shits hundred-dollar bills. Well, you couldn't be more wrong. Shrek has never, and will never, be about money. Shrek has always been about creating boring, inoffensive family entertainment. It is only that strong commitment to mediocrity--a pledge made by Dreamworks and signed by Smashmouth--keeping the Shrek franchise alive. As long as there are banal, uninspired stories to tell, Shrek will continue to tell them, whether that means making billions of dollars or not.*
*they will stop making them if they stop making billions of dollars.
Jul 18 2007Leguizamo Joins The Happening
Variety reports that John Leguizamo has joined the cast of M. Night Shyamalan's The Happening. The film stars Mark Wahlberg as a man escaping natural disaster with his family, with Leguizamo taking the role of his best friend. Now it's time to play the popular game, What's going to be up with John Leguizamo in The Happening?
1. He's some kind of god that is causing the very disaster they're fleeing.
2. He has some hidden power that can stop the disaster at the last minute.
3. He's a ghost.
4. He's an alien.
5. He's something far more obnoxiously convoluted.
6. He's something strange that will be obvious to you in the first five minutes, which you'll later brag to your friends about as a testament to both Shyamalan's poor direction and your own impressive deduction skills.
7. He's the pest.
8. He's obviously not seen Lady in the Water and has made a horrible career move.
Feel free to suggest your own.
Jul 18 2007Gone Baby Gone Poster
It seems strange to me that they would market Ben Affleck's directorial debut with the large image of his fairly unknown brother, never even mentioning Ben or his Academy Award. Maybe they're trying to avoid reminding us that he's nearly a rapist.
Trailer here.
Jul 18 2007Strangers with Candy Meeting The Simpsons?
I'm really not sure how much of this is article is joking and how much is serious, but I've never been one to avoid blind speculation, erroneous reporting, or outright lying, so here it is: the characters from the Comedy Central cult favorite Strangers with Candy may find themselves animated, guest-starring in the 500th episode of The Simpsons. If true, it would mean two of my favorite things from high school that my mom didn't understand would be merging. Find a way to work in masturbating and "kick ass music" and it will be like I never graduated.
Jul 17 2007Ghosts of Cite Soleil Trailer
Thankfully, Bob the Cameraman was unable to read subtitles
Ghosts of Cite Soleil is a documentary about life in a Haitian slum that, from the trailer, looks like a real-life version of City of God.
The film follows two of the gang leaders, who happen to be brothers, and are also aspiring rappers. The foot soldiers of these gang leaders are known as chimeres (or “ghosts”) and it was those ghosts whom former President Jean-Bertrand Aristide is said to have employed to silence his opponents. Filmed in the months leading up to Aristide’s overthrow in 2004, the film captures the smoldering tensions between the two rival gang leaders, and their love for the same woman, set in a city the United Nations has declared the most dangerous place on Earth.
City of God's one of my favorite movies of all time because it lets me experience the drama and tension of living in a violent, lawless slum from the safety of the fort I've built out of couch cushions. Perhaps Ghosts can do the same? Slightly gnarlier trailer, after the jump.
Jul 17 2007DiCaprio to Maybe Play Hefner
You, with the boobs, my room, 10 minutes.
According to the Guardian, Leonardo DiCaprio is in talks to play Hugh Hefner in the upcoming biopic. The British are about as well known for responsible journalism as they are for world-class dentistry, and "in talks" is pretty vague as it is anyway, so who knows.
I would've liked to see Aaron Eckhart, because he has the whole ridiculously cleft chin thing down and you can't teach that in acting school. But either way it's probably going to suck because that chubby douche Brett Ratner is directing it. In other news, I will continue to not wear pants.
Jul 17 2007Jon Heder Strikes Again
Jon Heder's been in a fair few movies since Napoleon Dynamite, and even his magic underwear haven't been able to bring them success at the box office or on the reviews page. In this trailer for Moving McAllister he apparently plays some sort of Mormon-looking Indian shaman. Sadly, it looks to be par for course as far as post-Napoleon Heder movies are concerned.
But then again, it was written by and stars Ben Gourley, and you know that had to be a rough name growing up. The only people at his school who couldn't make fun of him were Steve Pussey, Joe Faggit and Margaret Monkeytits. How does this bode well for the movie, you ask? Well, funny people often have traumatic childhoods. Louis C.K. got sent to a camp for retarded kids, for instance, and even yours truly faced occasional ridicule because of my overdeveloped Kegel muscles. Children can be so cruel ;-(
Jul 17 2007Further Indiana Jones Adventures?
Harrison Ford (right) in a rarely captured embrace with greed.
I thought we had the promise that the fourth Indiana Jones film would wrap up the series, but now comes word from IESB that Harrison Ford has signed on to a three-picture deal in the series, with his co-star Shia LaBeouf signing on for four. Now if they somehow manage to not destroy the series with this one, they get three more chances! Though I do find it strange that Ford would be planning films so far past his death.
UPDATE: And it's already being denied by Lucasfilm. But you'll notice he never denied the possibility of a second E.T.
Jul 17 2007More, Better Looks at Joker
Yes, someone has gotten slightly closer to the set of The Dark Knight and grabbed even more shots of the anticipated villain. Until Warner Bros. supplies us with the quality and quantity of pictures expected from Sears Portrait Studio, expect more of the same. This one gives a better idea of the costume and the manner in which Joker requests sexual favors.
In addition, this Chicago Fox affiliate nabbed some additional Joker footage where he's standing around. I won't be happy until someone gets a "nip slip."
Jul 17 2007A Truce - Michael Moore/CNN Update
USA Today is running this story under the headline "Moore calls truce with CNN over 'Sicko'". The rest of the story makes it sound more like it was "agree to disagree" than a truce, persay, but it does point out a few errors in CNN's fact-checking of Moore's movie that I posted last week. See also the YouTube clip of the incident above.
In Gupta's report, CNN had said that Moore had reported that Cuba spends $25 per person for health care. In fact, the movie estimates Cuba's spending at $251 per person. CNN blamed a transcription error for its mistake and apologized for it on and off the air.
Oops. Take that CNN, smarmy jerks. Think they're "real journalists" because they wear pants and leave the house even when they're not out of disposable wet wipes. There are a couple other points of contention regarding the report, but the difference between $25 and $251 was easiest to wrap my booze addled brain around. Hope you understand.
Jul 17 2007Make Yourself a Simpson... Again
A few weeks ago, I reported that The Simpsons Movie site had a feature that allowed you to design your own character in the style of the cartoon. It seemed only obvious for me to make Ted Kaczynski.
Now Burger King, working in conjunction with the new movie, has another version of the same idea called "Simpsonize Me." This one allows you to upload a photo of yourself for the program to reference in creating your avatar, which you can then fine tune. Using his mug shot, I immediately made another Ted Kaczynski.
I think the first one actually worked better, but you can judge for yourself.
Make your own here.
Jul 17 2007Warlocks Hate Period: Dynamite Warriors Trailer
As I've often pointed out, few things in life are as awesomely ridiculous as Thai action flicks. Dynamite Warrior comes from the same country and the same choreographer as Ong Bak and The Protector, so my hopes that it could turn out as awesome as a guy throwing a baby elephant may not be unfounded.
Here's the actual synopsis from Apple, because no smart ass commentary from yours truly could ever be as good as the real deal on this one:
Set in rural Thailand during the 1920s Dan Chupong (Born To Fight) plays Jone Bang Fai a young man riddled with grief and bent on revenge after witnessing his parents’ murder by a callous and malicious killer. The only information Jone has as to the killer’s identity is the memory of a tattoo-covered man who is part of an organized group of cattle rustlers. Jone makes it his mission to stop all cattle rustlers and in the process return each head of cattle back to its rightful owner. After searching the country high and low, Jone finally believes he has found the murderer in a small rural village in the North of Thailand. To Jone’s dismay he learns that the killer is in fact a warlock of immense power, a nearly invincible mystical man who is trying to control the whole village. His one weakness? He can be harmed only by weapons that have been treated with the menstrual blood of a young virgin. Armed with this knowledge and a few hundred highly charged rockets (and a dash of menstrual blood), our intrepid hero goes up against one of the most dangerous men to have ever walked the Earth.
Wow.
Jul 17 2007King of Kong Trailer
The unabomber wasn't always so averse to technology
The description for the King of Kong trailer on Apple.com is "Follows a middle school science teacher as he battles a hot sauce mogul for the Guinness World Record on the arcade classic Donkey Kong."
I wasn't all that intrigued until I watched it and realized it's a documentary. I don't usually play video games because I'm too busy banging chicks and pumpin' iron, but this looks kinda interesting. Mainly because the one dude has really cool hair.
Jul 16 2007"Evan Armighty" to be Shelved
A fine mess you've gotten us into...
Poor Evan Almighty. It cost $210 million to make and still hasn't reached the $100 million dollar mark at the box office. And now comes the news that the film won't even be released in Japan.
Sources behind the decision say that it would've been too costly to re-imagine Noah as an attractive school girl whose panties are stolen by a vengeful octopus.
And now I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with all the Steve Carell hugging pillows I made.
Jul 16 2007Paramount Can Make Indy Sequels Long After Harrison Ford's Death
Bay was too distracted by Megan Fox's tits to notice that his characters were reacting to the same offscreen action while looking in two different directions.
Despite reports that 65-year-old Harrison Ford is doing all his own stunts and is fighting a courageous battle against incontinence, Paramount has taken no chances with the franchise, signing Shia LaBeouf for three additional Indy pictures, or at least the option to.
LaBeouf has also starred in Disturbia, Surf's Up, and Tranformers this year. His contract with Paramount reportedly includes an option to come to your house and bang your girlfriend, then hang out all day drinking coffee and reading the newspaper. Should you choose to initiate conversation, he retains the right to playfully punch you in the shoulder and call you "sport".
Jul 16 2007Elijah Kelley Oscar Watch
Desperately trying to avoid a "black guys love fat white chicks" joke here...
VH1 is reporting the Elijah Kelley will play Sammy Davis Jr. in an upcoming biopic. I didn't really know who Elijah Kelley was before today, but internet searches have led me to believe that he is an attractive black man with really nice teeth who looks like he smells nice. He's sort of what I wish I looked like.
Irregardless, this news can mean only one thing: Elijah Kelley will be winning an Oscar for best actor. I know the movie hasn't come out yet, but let's look at the facts here, people: He's playing a beloved, dead, black entertainer who battles racism and has a glass eye. Unless another movie comes out about a gay retarded clown musician living in a WWII-era Jewish ghetto, this one's pretty much a lock. The academy loves actors who play real people, because they're not very smart or creative, and they don't know much about acting; the easiest way to judge acting is to be able to compare performance to the real thing. Basically, they love a good impressionist. If Jimmy Fallon or Darrell Hammond ever turn to drama, they might runaway with the awards every year.
Jul 16 2007Steve Buscemi Loves the Gays
I wash my hands 100 times a day because they smell like my mother!
Kinda weird lookin' Steve Buscemi recently made the interview rounds to promote Interview. Frankly, it looks like a bit of a snooze fest, but Buscemi was also asked about appearing in I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, which some* have called anti-gay.
That's what I found really interesting about the film, that this is being explored in this broad, comedic, hopefully very commercial film, and what I experienced on set, it champions gay rights and gay marriage. So you know, I haven't seen the film yet, but I think Adam has touched on this before in his movies and I know him personally and he's not homophobic. I don't think that is any kind of message he wants to portray.I haven't seen the trailers, and I'm sorry if that's what's seemingly coming through, because I don't believe the film is that way, and I would not have been involved in it if I felt like that's what it was doing. I feel like it's bringing this to the forefront, this whole issue of gay marriage, which I think is a non-issue.
Well said, Steve. Not nearly enough people are praising important films like I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry, that spark debate on the real issues in this country. Where would the debate about rats cooking be without Ratatouille? The debate about surfing penguins without Surf's Up? The debate about assisted suicide without Tim Allen? If I were the academy, I would award Hollywood an Oscar for keepin' it real.
*queers
Jul 16 2007Seth Green to Play World's Smallest Executive
Ladies love it when I stand diagonal. Rowr!
Seth Green is set to join Robin Williams, John Travolta, Kelly Preston, and Matt Dillon in Old Dogs, the most strangely casted movie ever.
"Dogs" is a buddy comedy revolving around two best friends and business partners whose lives are turned upside down when they find themselves taking care of 7-year-old twins.Green will play an executive with the global marketing firm run by Travolta and Williams' characters as they are closing a big deal with a Japanese conglomerate. He is eager to prepare for his move to Tokyo and show off his Harvard MBA and Japanese cultural skills.
Obviously it's a comedy, because that's the only time you could cast Seth Green as a corporate exec. Can you really picture that guy as an authority figure? He'd walk in wearing a comically oversized suit and tell you to stop reading movie blogs and get back to work and you'd just giggle and be like, "Hee hee, whatever you say, Professor von Tinyjew! I can't resist those dimples!"
Jul 16 2007Small, Grainy Shot of Joker
Since I'm still willing to grab at any pathetic, Batman-themed carrot dangled in front of me, here's a super-secret shot taken from set of The Dark Knight. It's either Heath Ledger as The Joker, his stunt-double as The Joker, or the ghost of Brandon Lee, come to haunt the set and ensure proper firearm safety.
Also, MTV has confirmed Two-Face will appear in the film, bringing the official villain count to somewhere between "too many" and "a shit-ton."
Jul 16 2007The Good Night Trailer
I'll give it to you straight here: I have man-crushes on Martin Freeman and Simon Pegg because of The Office and Shaun of the Dead, and a regular crush on Penelope Cruz because of looking amazing even if slightly mousy, so their presence makes me really want to see this hokey dramedy. Plus it's written and directed by Gwyneth Paltrow's brother Jake, so it's got nepotism going for it too.
Jul 16 2007Ace Ventura Now Young, Fat
If you love sequels where the main character is replaced by his/her son or daughter, you're going to drop a load of excitement over this news! Ace Ventura's son will be played by husky department frequenter and Nancy Drew/License to Wed star Josh Flitter in a second sequel to Jim Carrey's breakout movie.
To me, the biggest shock here is that this is actually a 12-year-old. I'd assumed he was just one of those small men that have the chubby kid disease, like Andy Milonakis or the Campbell's soup kids. Now I feel kind of bad for all the times I've said how hard he is to look at.
Jul 16 2007R. Kelly Remains Trapped in Closet
IFC has announced that R. Kelly will remain trapped in the closet just a bit longer, with the network ordering 10 additional chapters to the already epic hip-hopera Trapped in the Closet. Assuming you've seen this--perhaps at an awkward social gathering where someone started playing the series--you know that this news is madness. This is like finding more books of the Bible, but a rhyming Bible with an even sloppier, less feasible narrative, and I think a dwarf.
All 22 episodes will be available to stream at IFC.com, and will be utterly unbearable to watch in one sitting.
Jul 16 2007I'm Not There Clip
As much as I try, I can't take Todd Haynes' Bob Dylan biopic I'm Not There seriously. Having several actors (like Christian Bale, Richard Gere, and Heath Ledger) play Dylan sounded interesting, but this clip with Cate Blanchett as the songster and David Cross as Allen Ginsberg is lost on me. All I can see is Blanchett doing a goofy impression of Bob Dylan and Tobias Funke riding around with a beard, and in this case it's not his wife.