Jun 7 2007You're Mine, Boll!
Uwe Boll, one German who's not nearly as cute as Knüt the Polar Bear (who's probably a better director too), has picked up an American distributor for his next three flicks, In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, Postal, and Seed .
The coolest thing about Uwe Boll, of course, is that he challenged some of his "harshest critics" to a boxing match last year and beat all five of them. I'm pretty süre I could take him, so even though I haven't seen any of his movies, I'm pretty süre they sück and that he's a big stinky büttlicker who can't read good. You hear that, Boll? You're mine, bitch.
The coolest thing about Knüt the Polar Bear, of course, is that if cüteness were in the olympics, Knüt would win the gold medal, and the entire world would stop what they were doing to go "Awww." And those Südanese f***ers would take a ten minute break from raping each other.
Reader Comments
1. J - June 7, 2007 12:08 PM
That's DR. Boll to you, Vince! And how the shit does he pump out so many movies so quickly? Damn those Germans are efficient!
2. Vince - June 7, 2007 1:05 PM
He's a doctor? What the hell is he a doctor of?
3. Giggleloop - June 7, 2007 1:07 PM
I think you do the umlaut with alt+129
ü -- yep. :)
4. j - June 7, 2007 2:39 PM
Seriously, he has a doctorate. Maybe it's in Fine Arts or something (Uwe Boll, D.F.A) But he goes as Dr. a bunch of times. WHY DO I KNOW THIS?!
5. sir colin of hunt - June 7, 2007 3:13 PM
D.F.A. means Doctor of Fuck All.
6. J - June 7, 2007 4:12 PM
I have this very guilty feeling that I will be watching "Postal" when it's on Torrent. I have to see just how bad it is. And then it's off to the rape-shower to scrub with a Brillo pad to wash the filth off of me.
7. SB - June 7, 2007 5:45 PM
nothing will ever top House of the Dead. ever.
8. Dorepoll - June 7, 2007 7:48 PM
Hope you last longer in the ring than Lowtax did.
9. Norman - June 8, 2007 2:58 AM
Oh, i've seen you learned the wrong using of UMLAUTE, haha!
Although I'm a compatriot of Boll, I can't warm my blood for him, he is just a bad Flachwichser and unsocial as hell, he looks like an bald nazi and i really believe he stinks like Walküre, which is one of the most abominable perfumes ever made, only worn by gay nazis and those rechtsradikale Schlampen (nothing against gay people! Don't beat me!).
Uwe Boll, born without any talent (Ok, he made money from sundried shit, but is this a real talent?), is the most horrible filmmaker after... oh, I can't find anyone which is badder than Boll.
Why does the glorious American Country accept 'em in his airspace!
Germany doesn't want him and you, Miss Liberty, received this human malignancy in your open armes!
10. Vince - June 8, 2007 12:38 PM
I didn't welcome him with open arms. But I do welcome him WITH CLOSED FISTS! Welcome him... TO HELL!