You're Mine, Boll!
Uwe Boll, one German who's not nearly as cute as Knüt the Polar Bear (who's probably a better director too), has picked up an American distributor for his next three flicks, In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, Postal, and Seed .
The coolest thing about Uwe Boll, of course, is that he challenged some of his "harshest critics" to a boxing match last year and beat all five of them. I'm pretty süre I could take him, so even though I haven't seen any of his movies, I'm pretty süre they sück and that he's a big stinky büttlicker who can't read good. You hear that, Boll? You're mine, bitch.
The coolest thing about Knüt the Polar Bear, of course, is that if cüteness were in the olympics, Knüt would win the gold medal, and the entire world would stop what they were doing to go "Awww." And those Südanese f***ers would take a ten minute break from raping each other.