Jun 5 2007Criss Angel to Play, or Possibly Just Appear in Mandrake the Magician
Some people don't need a mustache and top hat to look gay.
Criss Angel, the bastard child of Kiss drummer Peter Criss and a voodoo groupie from New Orleans*, said in a recent interview that he will be acting in and designing visual effects for the movie adaptation of Mandrake the Magician.
For those of you who haven't heard of him, Criss Angel is kind of like the goth kid version of David Blaine. Wait, he's not going to make my penis disappear for saying that, is he? I hear that shit happens in Africa all the time. For those of you who aren't yet enticed by that link, know this: the article it goes to contains the phrase "penis-melting cyborg combs." Seriously.
*I just made this up, but maybe it could be true?
Obligatory relevant Dave Chapelle quote: "I don't f*** with Africa too much, cuz people are starvin' over there and that just ain't balla to me."
Reader Comments
1. Crystal - June 5, 2007 11:33 AM
as much as you guys don't want to admit it.... criss angel is HOT. i don't care how well educated, smart, sarcastic, whatever... ever hot blooded woman wants to hit that.
2. Vince - June 5, 2007 11:57 AM
He's good looking, but probably not as good looking as he seems to thinks he is.
3. Willravel - June 5, 2007 12:21 PM
Is that Anthony Kiedis's little sis?
I always thought Mandrake needed a little gaying up, and this seems like an appropriate formula. The original mustache was Magnum P.I. gay, but the long hair and awkward behavior around boys will really serve to fill out the gay, to support the mustache. PTW, is it goth to wear what appears to be a mink coat? No? Gay? Yes? Okay?
4. Conor S - June 5, 2007 2:37 PM
'Hey, look at me. I'm so emo. I do magic and make people think I did it with my mind. I call myself a mind freak because putting yourself down is cool when you're goth and emo. I'm such a go-mo!'
5. Bren - June 5, 2007 9:11 PM
I'm a hot blooded woman, and I don't want to "hit that," unless you mean literally punching him in the teeth. Perhaps I'm picky, but "Hey look, I just woke up and I haven't really showered, but baby, I know where my liquid eyeliner is at all times" is not really a look I go for.
6. Mac - June 5, 2007 9:21 PM
Did anyone see his "illusion" in NY today? It was F***ING WEAK.