May 25 2007'SIMS' Movie Greenlit by Apparent Super Genius

Someday, God willing, I will have the world's strongest kegel muscles.

I put up a picture of supermodel Molly Sims, rather than a picture of that stupid video game some genius is making a movie out of because, let's face it, what would you rather look at?

But as I was saying, someone thought it'd be a great idea to bring SIMS to the bigscreen. It's yet another case of art imitating art imitating life. I wonder if this means we'll finally see the Civilization movie we've all been clamoring for. So how exactly do you make a movie out of a video game where you basically control groups of virtual people who go to work, take baths, put on ties, and poop?

The SIMS has done an interactive version of an old story, which is what it's like to have infinite power and how do you deal with it," said [SIMS Studio head Rod] Humble. "Given that that's an old story, you can imagine how easily that would translate to traditional story telling."

Of course we can imagine, Rod, what are we, idiots?

The project will be overseen by the guy who brought us Norbit, When a Stranger Calls, and Eragon, and written by Brian Lynch, whose projects include Big Helium Dog and Scary Movie 3.

Rod Humble. There's a porn joke in that somewhere.

Can you imagine Brian Lynch's mom at a cocktail party?

"So Carol, what's your boy doing these days?"

"Oh, Marjie, you'd never believe it, but my Bri's a big Hollywood screen writer now!"

"Good heavens, you must be so proud! What has he written?"

"*cough cough* big...uh, big helium dog."

"What's that, Carol? You trailed off, but I thought you said 'Big Helium Dog'. Ha, they say hearing's the first thing to go!"

"I'm gonna head to the kitchen, Marjie, you want another scotch?"

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