May 9 2007Jessica Biel is Hot, Chinese
"I would never be in a movie with Dane Cook like that Jessica Alba trollop."
Chun-Li from Street Fighter, that sixteen-bit sexpot spank material for adolescent boys before the advent of online porn, is supposedly going to be played by Jessica Biel in a new, disappointingly Van Damme-less movie version of the video game.
Jessica Biel doesn't look very much like a Chinese girl to me, but she does look like the girl I had sex with last night!
I taught her the old ping pong ball trick so the character would be more authentic. (Here's where I'd make that sound with my finger and cheek that they do at the beginning of "Lollypop")
Reader Comments
1. zeusguy7 - May 9, 2007 1:20 PM
Somethings up with the Engrish in this piece . . .
2. Trey - May 9, 2007 1:31 PM
the caption would be funny, but she was in a movie with Dane Cook
3. lambman - May 9, 2007 1:54 PM
Um what? None of this makes any sense...did you write the article in Chinese and then use one of the free crappy online translators?
4. Curtis - May 9, 2007 2:32 PM
Yeah, Jessica Biel and Dance Cook were both in the movie London
Perhaps there's sarcasm in the caption though, I'm not sure
5. patrick swayze - May 9, 2007 2:40 PM
this ho is boredom personified.
6. james - May 9, 2007 2:48 PM
hope theres a nip slip of her in the movie.
7. Vince - May 9, 2007 3:05 PM
Is the "sixteen-bit sexpot spank material" part throwing you guys off? Look, I couldn't decide between "sixteen-bit sexpot" and "sixteen-bit spank material" so I put them both in at the same time.
8. Steeb2er - May 9, 2007 3:15 PM
The part that's confusing people is "Chun-Li from Street Fighter ... is rumored to be playing Chun-Li ..."
THAT'S the issue.
It's probably safe to assume it should say "Jessica Biel ... is rumored to be playing Chun-Li from Street Fighter".
9. syd - May 9, 2007 3:17 PM
Chun-Li is playing Chun-Li...
Typecasting doesn't only hurt organic actors.
10. Vince - May 9, 2007 3:32 PM
Ugh, my bad. Don't drink and post, folks.