April 15, 2007 - April 21, 2007 Archives
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(movie voice guy) "In a world...full of crappy sequels..." it's pretty awesome to be able to report that a sequel to The Lost Boys, of all things, is in the works. Not only did I just crap myself with glee (good thing grandma left the plastic on this couch! Even though she cal... / Continue →
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Russell Crowe a'warned you to stay away from his melodramatic old man, and now yer gonna pay the price. Russell Crowe and Christian Bale costar in 3:10 to Yuma, a remake of the 1957 film, and engage in a battle of wills as a small-time rancher tries to hold a captured outlaw as... / Continue →
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In the new trailer for The Bourne Ultimatum, Matt Damon presents those who stole his past and identity with a final ultimatum: "I, Jason Bourne, will repeatedly kick and punch your henchmen. Then, as I've been known to in previous Bourne outings, I will give you a mocking phone... / Continue →
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From the man who brought you such treasures as "some porn taped off Cinemax that's kind of old and staticy but you can still make out the tits" and "close-up of Suzanne Denkins from high school's vagina, or it might be her armpit" comes "first shot of Heath Leadger as The Joker... / Continue →
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Oh Spiderman, how long must we sing this song? I can't believe the news today Get ready for "Spider-Man: The Broadway Musical." Oh I can't close my eyes and make it go aw-aaaaaayy... Marvel Studios is putting the pieces together for a musical on the Great White Way starring ... / Continue →
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Brad Pitt will join George Clooney in Burn After Reading, a Coen brothers project set to shoot in August. No one knows much about the project, but both these guys give me raging hetero man-boners (because they're such good actors), and the Coen brothers did The Big Lebowski an... / Continue →
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Laurence Fishburne, first rumored to be voicing the giant cloud of Galactus in Fantastic Four 2, will reportedly instead be providing the voice to the Silver Surfer. The actor beat out James Earl Jones, Sisko from Deep Space Nine, and Worf, Fishburne's biggest rivals in the bla... / Continue →
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The License to Wed poster has three main issues. 1. As if the goofy, bright red lettering with the characters on a white background style that's become synonymous with terrible comedies isn't enough, this shit stain's got Robin Williams in it. 2. Robin Williams appears to be... / Continue →
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So I was in the middle of thinking up one of those holy-crap-this-writes-itself bad Adam Sandler movie jokes while I was watching this trailer, and then about two minutes and eleven seconds into it I found all the blood in my body rushing away from my brain. You all owe it t... / Continue →
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Recognizing that calling the Elizabeth sequel Elizabeth II might make it confusing due to the current, frumpy Elizabeth II, the film will soon arrive as Elizabeth: The Golden Age. This chapter of the queen's life seems more like Braveheart with more elaborate costumes, with Cat... / Continue →
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"We are/the Coen Bro-thers/Don't get a-long with others..." The Cannes film festival is set to open in...Cannes...with a lineup of heavy hitting auteurs (does anyone actually know what this word means?) The festival will open with Wong Kar Wai's first English movie, Blueberr... / Continue →
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Have y'all seen the new Ocean's Thirteen poster? It's almost exactly the same as the old Ocean's Thirteen poster, except white. If purchased and spread out on a living room floor, it provides the perfect opportunity to pretend you've been enlarged by radiation and are now rampa... / Continue →
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And the Gay News Lead of the Day Award goes to... The Hollywood Reporter, for this little gem: New Line is packing the cooler, throwing on some sunscreen, and leaving for a "Mancation". The story goes on to say that the studio has bought a "pitch" (not to be confused with an ... / Continue →
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Eric Bana and Rachel McAdams have signed with New Line to star in The Time Traveler's Wife, an adaptation of the bestselling Audrey Niffenegger novel. He's a librarian who time travels when stressed out; she's a young heiress who just wants a husband who doesn't time travel! Zo... / Continue →
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Simon Kinberg, the dude who wrote Mr. & Mrs. Smith, xXx 2 (nominated for the 2005 Teen Choice award for "Choice Rap Artist in a Movie"), and the third X-Men movie, has been hired to do a complete overhaul of the Hardy Men script, which will star Tom Cruise and Ben Stiller as th... / Continue →
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"A million and more alien eyes look upon him who is Galactus, and for each race the vision differs." For moviegoers, it's going to be a f***ing cloud. According to AICN, Galactus, the devourer of worlds, seen most-commonly as a giant white guy in goofy pink armor, will be portr... / Continue →
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Moviehole reports that Jean Claude Van Damme will be extending slightly beyond the action genre to try his hand at a supernatural thriller with some horror elements in Holy Blood, said to be something like The Exorcist meets The X-Files meets terrible Belgian acting. In honor ... / Continue →
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Revolution Studios and Sony Pictures are bemoaning the drubbing that the Halle Berry/Bruce Willis flick "Perfect Strangers" took at the box office this weekend. "Perfect Strangers," from Revolution Studios and Sony Pictures, received an overall grade of C-plus. Starring Halle B... / Continue →
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Speaking to Entertainment Weekly, Sam Raimi revealed that, as rumored by rumor-mongers, he may be taking over the Lord of the Rings franchise to direct The Hobbit. Said the filmmaker: Peter Jackson might be the best filmmaker on the planet right now. But, um, I don't know what... / Continue →
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Able to morph between really shitty and really, really shitty. Right now, most likely at your local Blockbuster store, there's an industry that's thriving on the ineptitude of video rental customers who can't tell the difference between a blockbuster movie that's just been rele... / Continue →
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Marvel Studios has announced that Edward Norton will play Bruce Banner in the sequel to The Incredible Hulk. The first Hulk movie kinda sucked, but it's the law of the universe that every comic book has to be made into at least six movies, so hopefully Norton can get the franc... / Continue →
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Shia LaBeouf is playing Indy's son in the next Indiana Jones movie. He's also the star of Disturbia, which took number one at the box office this weekend, and Transformers, the most talked-about Michael Bay turd since that time he clogged up the toilet at my sister's house. H... / Continue →
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According to IESB, Jerry Bruckheimer's big screen adaptation of popular video game Prince of Persia has found a director in the abominable Michael Bay. Though many hold out hope for Bay's upcoming Transformers, even giant robots can't wash the taste of Armageddon, Pearl Harbor,... / Continue →
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Two new posters for horror sequel 28 Weeks Later have been revealed, the one above featuring someone who, judging by the eyes, may or may not be David Bowie. You'll just have to see the movie to find out. The other poster is under the cut.... / Continue →
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By Bollywood standards, Hairspray looks like a real treat. This is because every Bollywood movie involves the kind of elaborate song and dance routines seen here, but typically with stupider costumes. By my standards, it looks like a bunch of crappy song and dance routines with... / Continue →
