Mar 15 2007Trainspotting Sequel Pending Appropriate Aging

Trainspotting famously repopularized the classic "I'm in your toilet" prank.

During a classic question/answer format interview, Danny Boyle admitted the sequel to Trainspotting, Porno, will likely be coming once the Hollywood actors start showing their age.

We've been given the rights to do the sequel to it, and there is a script - a very early script from John Hodge, the writer of the first one. And we got the idea of doing it, but it depends on [the actors] being quite a bit older than they are at the moment. They need to have a bit of age. Our take on it is, their headiness - these guys who lived at the absolute brink, felt they were invincible and felt they could abuse themselves to the absolute limit - suddenly hit middle age. They're in their forties and they look it - but they don't really look it, those actors, yet. They're a bit moisturised up and looked after. So when they get a bit older, we'll have a go at sassing it up a bit, yeah.

So, until Ewan McGregor starts looking like he's 45, the only Porno we're going to see on screens is actual porno. By which I mean filmed pornography. By which I generally mean an overweight woman riding a thin, androgynous boy like a horse while 8-10 men, their faces concealed by latex masks but their bodies revealed in their utter hairlessness, masturbate on a full turkey dinner being eaten by an elderly Asian woman, seemingly unaware of what is transpiring before her. Perhaps it's not the dictionary definition, but it's certainly the one I find best suits my needs.

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