Mar 30 2007Evan Almighty Trailer
Evan Almighty tells the story of a congressman (Steve Carell) enlisted by God to take on the role of a modern Noah, building an ark and preserving Earth's species in the forthcoming flood. If Richard Dawkins and his liberal cronies had their way, this hysterical comedy would be about boring science! Shame on them. Hooray for God!
Mar 30 2007New Ocean's 13 Trailer
What I think a lot of people hate about most Hollywood movies is that they make you pick just one sexy hunk. "Why can't we have more sexy hunks in one film?" I'm often asked. I typically have no response. But now I can tell them Ocean's Thirteen gives you Brad, George, and Matt for one admission price! I suppose I could have told them about Ocean's Eleven or Twelve too, but I'm only one man.
Mar 30 2007New Harry Potter Pictures!
How can I get you outta that cardigan?
ComingSoon has some new pictures from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. If only you had so many pictures of your dead son maybe his memory wouldn't be fading so quickly.
Mar 30 2007Hairspray Poster
Did you ever wonder what the poster for High Fidelity look like if it were a garish musical? Something like this.
Mar 30 2007I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry Trailer
It's widely known that homosexuality is like the grossest thing ever. Two men in love? Yeck! I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry proudly exploits this concept by showing two straight men forced to pretend they're gay, and it's just as hilarious as you'd expect. The best part is when either Chuck or Larry (whichever is the fat King of Queens) tries to kiss either Chuck or Larry (whichever is Adam Sandler). Sandler responds, appropriately, by punching the King of Queens. It reminds us how gays should be physically persecuted for their sinning. My only question: why didn't he kill him?
Mar 28 20077-Elevens Becoming Kwik-E-Marts
Though the deal isn't yet sealed, 7-Eleven has plans to dress 11 of their stores to resemble Kwik-E-Marts in a joint promotion with The Simpsons Movie, including the addition of Simpsons-inspired products like KrustyO's cereal, Buzz Cola, and Squishees. Current 7-Eleven fans need not worry that they'll lose their favorite features of the chain; though the signs and cups will say Squishee, it will still be a classic Slurpee inside, and, thankfully, meth-addicted thieves will continue to burglarize the store on a nightly basis.
Mar 28 2007Ray Winstone Joins Indy 4
The Hollywood Reporter announced today that Ray Winstone, Jack Nicholson's crime partner in The Departed, will be joining Cate Blanchett and Harrison Ford in the cast of the next Indiana Jones film. Though the plot is still cloaked in secrecy, sources say he will be playing Jones' sidekick, disregarding the archaeologist's well-established preference for young Asian boys. As sidekick, Winstone's duties will include reminding Indiana when there is or is not time for love, forcing ladies to call him "Dr. Jones," and occasional chauffeuring.
Mar 28 2007First Shot of Sweeney Todd
Tim Burton's latest, Sweeney Todd, tells the story of a seriak-killing old-fashioney barber played by Johnny Depp. Even with his murderous side, I can already tell from this first picture that I'd let him be my barber. Mainly because Mom won't let me have sideburns when she does it.
Mar 28 2007Normal Adolescent Behavior Trailer
This isn't really an official trailer but more of a montage of clips from Normal Adolescent Behavior, an odd take on a group of teens dealing with their sexuality and friendships. Watching the teens grope at each other in these clips, I couldn't help but be reminded of my own high school years, when I would watch teens grope at each other, often thinking, "This would be a good movie. About me watching teenagers grope each other."
Mar 27 2007Welling in for Brilliant Teen Wolf Remake?
Put a shirt on, asshole.
Dark Horizons reports that location scouting is currently underway for a remake of the '80s teen comedy Teen Wolf with a clever new spin on it: the wolf is a girl! How do they come up with this stuff?! Already set for the cast is Tom Welling of Smallville, proving Superman's greatest weakness is not kryptonite but a really shitty agent.
Mar 27 2007Depp and Banderas Headed to Sin City?
Might Johnny Depp and Antonio Banderas be in Sin City 2? Yes, they might. In an interview, director Robert Rodriguez said Depp was interested in the Jackie Boy role that eventually went to Benecio del Toro but now may play the character of Wallace. Meanwhile, a meeting between Frank Miller and Antonio Banderas now has the writer/co-director convinced he should find a role for the cologne baron (Antonio Banderas makes cologne). It sounds like Rodriguez is trying to bring as many of his mainstays as he can into the sequel. Also, the part of Sin City will now be played by Mexico.
Mar 27 200728 Weeks Later Trailer
There's now a trailer online, above or in high quality, for the 28 Days Later sequel 28 Weeks Later. Like the toilet rim you just cleaned only to find covered in urine and pubic hair the next morning, the city of London finds itself reinfected with the deadly Rage virus just when they thought they were ready to begin civil life again. Without seeing the movie, I can't say how the virus begins spreading again, but I do have some clues as to the perpetrator of the urine and pubic hair situation. How about the only other dude living here, Paul? Would it kill you to aim, or at least wipe the porcelain down now and then? I don't know if you're trimming your pubes every day or what, but our toilet looks like a Muppet. And don't even get me started about things of mine I've seen you scratch yourself with. Yeah, I'm noticing, so just cut it out.
Mar 27 2007Transformer Protect/Destroy Posters
In the new one-sheets for Transformers, we're given intense close-ups of the lead robot characters, reminding us that there's really no reason to ever provide close-ups of expressionless robot heads.
See emotionless Megatron (the bad guy) poster under the cut.
Mar 26 2007Marty and Leo Investing Together
BFF.
Variety announced yesterday that Martin Scorsese has added Jordan Belfort's autobiography, The Wolf of Wall Street, to his list of potential projects, and guess who he wants to star as the Long Island stockbroker. That's right, ol' Leonardo DiCaprio. After Gangs of New York, The Aviator, The Departed you'd think he'd be sick of the little twerp, but there it is. This confirms that they're definitely in love. You know they're in love, right? Because they're totally in love. On every film set they leave, the inscription MS + LD can be found somewhere, carved inside a heart. Fact.
Mar 26 2007The Golden Compass "Sizzle Reel"
The His Dark Materials trilogy looks to join Harry Potter and Narnia in the genre of young-adult-fantasy-spectacular with its first entry, The Golden Compass. Though the effects are far from finished, what I'm told is referred to as a "sizzle reel" has shown up online, giving a preview of the film. If, like me, you assumed anything with the term sizzle in it included bacon, bikini babes or a Sizzler, you're in for a disappointing surprise.
If you're interested, you'd better hurry. One can only sizzle for so long.
Mar 26 2007New Ratatouille Trailer
Hey, dudes, here's a new trailer for Pixar's Ratatouille on the scene, so all those old Ratatouille trailers can shove it. Hurry up and watch before Randy Newman writes a stupid song for it.
If the YouTube link goes down, it's on the Disney site.
Mar 26 2007Weaving and David Added to Transformers
The tricky thing about Transformers is that they are, as their tagline proclaims, more than meets the eye. With most of these characters, you'd swear they're just a normal car, a normal jet, a normal enormous cassette player, a normal robot dinosaur, and so on, but then a few seconds later you're looking at a big robot from space, and you're like, "Where did that come from?!"
Now it seems these robots are hiding yet another surprise: celebrity voices! According to AICN, Michael Bay's Transformers will feature the voice of Hugo Weaving (The Matrix, Lord of the Rings) as Megatron and Keith David (The Thing, voice of main gargoyle in Gargoyles) as Barricade.
Mar 26 2007First Shots of John Rambo
Returning to the role of John Rambo at age 60, Stallone still has that look of utter defiance in his face. Except now, instead of facing corrupt authority, he faces the cruel effects of time on his aging flesh. Will steroid-loaded arms and a mullet wig be enough to prove he's still got it? Or do the sag of his man-breasts mirror the drooping spirit of an old man so unable to come to terms with his age that he'll do any idiotic movie that lets him recreate characters of his youth? Probably the latter.
More candids from the set of John Rambo here.
