February 22, 2007
Zoo Poster

With now-famous video sensations like Star Wars Kid, Numa Numa Guy, and Nintendo64 Kid (search YouTube for these if interested), sometimes the Internet can make celebrities out of the unwilling when their personal videos find their way online. Such was the case of Mr. Hands, a Seattle man who let a horse have sex with his butt on tape as his friends watched/masturbated (search disgusting places for this if interested, pervert). Rather surprisingly, the horse's forearm-size member would eventually cause serious damage to Mr. Hands' standard-size internal organs, killing him.
Though he is now gone, Hands lives on through poorly-shot video and the warning not to ram a horse's penis into your intestines, but that is not his only legacy. His epic tale has now been immortalized through film in the movie Zoo, and here is the poster.
You know in a cartoon, when someone sees a lot of money and their eyes turn into dollar signs? This is the equivalent effect for when a horse sees that he gets to have sex with some dude.
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Comments
1. Posted by Ed on February 22, 2007 12:14 PM
Wow. If this doesn't sound horrible, I'm Lindsay Blohan.
2. Posted by momma on February 22, 2007 1:23 PM
is this serious?
3. Posted by Megan on February 22, 2007 2:27 PM
I can't wait!
Though i doubt the horse on the cover is the one from the act.
4. Posted by ArtemisMe on February 22, 2007 2:55 PM
that's....rather disturbing...
5. Posted by janna on February 22, 2007 6:09 PM
wow so this is coming right after the whole harry potter guy simulating sex on a horse? hrmmm maybe he will get the lead in this movie as well...how GROSS
6. Posted by charlie on February 22, 2007 6:16 PM
ow.
7. Posted by S.J. on February 22, 2007 6:22 PM
Dude, that TOTALLY looks like Daniel Radcliffe reflected in the horse's eye. Ride 'em cowboy!
8. Posted by Renestel on February 22, 2007 6:24 PM
ummm, how can you romanticize something that happens in Tijuana every night for like 5 bucks? Are they gonna actually show this in the movie? Ugh, they're gonna have to hire some tough stomached janitors to clean up the theatre. YACK!
Nothing like something the size of a kid's arm going up a guy's butt-gotta make a movie out of that!
9. Posted by Lauren on February 22, 2007 6:24 PM
Bestiality is the new pink.
10. Posted by jMo on February 22, 2007 6:25 PM
hot!
11. Posted by littlecat on February 22, 2007 6:30 PM
I thought this was going to be about Daniel Radcliffe..
12. Posted by d-co on February 22, 2007 6:30 PM
Oh my god, jMO. What is wrong with you. I think people who make movies like this are completely irresponsible. The poor horse doesn't even have a say in this. It just promotes animal cruelty and perversion. And your inane response is just fueling this hollywood engine.
i'd rather go naked than wear fur!
13. Posted by j on February 22, 2007 6:41 PM
Ok, I'm not disagreeing that its gross, but how can you say "The poor horse doesn't even have a say in this." I mean, how could they "force" an animal that weighs hundreds of pounds more then them to participate? ANyway, won't be seeing this, and I hope no one else does either.
14. Posted by JT@gmail.com on February 22, 2007 7:08 PM
I agree, the horse should have a say... over who gets to portray him in the movie. He should get the horse who played Seabiscuit to play his role, not just some no-name C-list horse actor.
I would rather wear fur than go naked. I mean the 3 necessities for survival are food, shelter, and CLOTHING right? Definitely fur over nakedness.
15. Posted by The Golden God on February 22, 2007 7:29 PM
Uhhhhhhhhh, wtf? And I'd personally rather go naked JT, but that's because I've got a superb body
16. Posted by Ian on February 22, 2007 7:31 PM
I'd rather go naked than have sex with a horse!
17. Posted by The Golden God on February 22, 2007 7:40 PM
I second that motion Ian! I think that's really what I was attempting to get at, but you said it best.
18. Posted by madd on February 22, 2007 7:53 PM
What if the horse surprises you from behind while you're walking around naked, not wearing fur?
If fur will protect my anus from horsey violation, I say hooray for fur.
19. Posted by Aeric on February 22, 2007 8:59 PM
did the horse kill him?
20. Posted by no on February 22, 2007 9:07 PM
great video, i highly recommend it to anyone!
21. Posted by seattlicious on February 22, 2007 9:31 PM
The guy died from "intestinal perforation". His friends who taped it dropped him off at the hospital. He was already dead from the infection that sets in when your intestines rupture.
Here's the wiki:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kenneth_Pinyan
22. Posted by Kelly on February 22, 2007 9:51 PM
I could have sworn that was Daniel Radcliffe in the horse's eye...
23. Posted by Tom Horseonovich Colligan on February 22, 2007 9:59 PM
Since my name is Horseonovich - (google me, Horseonovich, for all the info on my awesomeness) - I feel I am particularly well suited to comment on this topic.
Man on Horse or Horse on Man sex is a natural activity. Just google up the topic and you will see that all kinds of people do this - gay and straight, men and women, even Al Gore and Richard Gere have has a horse or two up their asses at one time or another.
Now, I see a great film here - let your imagination run wild - a horse, fresh from anally raping Perez Hilton or some other insufferable person, but oh so lonely, wanders into an open, unguarded morgue, and, in a frenzy of Horse on Human cadaver passion, mounts and reams the moldering corpse of Anna Nicole Smith. She burps up a big bubble of horse-jizz, and a big smile crosses her face...fade out....
If you are interested in this concept for a screenplay, please contact me, Horseonovich. And thank you.
24. Posted by Dick Johnson on February 22, 2007 10:17 PM
You know Tom, You're a real dick, you know that?
I'd have thought you were on crack, but you really believe your own bile.
25. Posted by the james on February 22, 2007 10:35 PM
ha! i can see it now the whole "movie" is about five minutes long. cut to scene...
dude #1: "i'll give you $2.50 (american) if you fuck that horse."
guy who gets fucked by horse (gwgbh):"make it $10."
dude #1: "$3.50"
gwgbh: "deal."
the end.
26. Posted by trashtalkerr on February 22, 2007 11:06 PM
wait..
what?
27. Posted by Courtney on February 23, 2007 1:27 AM
Just say "neigh".
28. Posted by missliss on February 23, 2007 1:58 AM
ummm... why did you even tell me that.
29. Posted by Ed on February 23, 2007 2:31 AM
"Just say "neigh"."
Hahahaha! Yeah, I should go to the theatre when this is showing and stand outside it and laugh at each person that leaves. Or maybe talk to them with one of those horse heads that are on the stick that kids play with.
Oh, the possibilities...
30. Posted by Silver on February 23, 2007 3:24 AM
i can't wait to take my kids to see this. they will finally get to understand what it is that daddy does on his hunting trips.
31. Posted by MEL on February 23, 2007 5:03 AM
i see legs in the reflect of his eye.
32. Posted by lambman on February 23, 2007 11:55 AM
Wow, that makes the plot of Equus sound like a heart warming coming of age story in comparison.
33. Posted by Seattleite on February 23, 2007 12:23 PM
That dude was from Enumclaw, which is a city over 35 miles away from Seattle. We don't bang horses in Seattle. We just lose Super Bowls.
34. Posted by Arden on February 23, 2007 12:48 PM
I'm, well . . . speechless. And frowning.
35. Posted by cambel on February 23, 2007 1:18 PM
You won't believe this, but when speaking about this film the director said that the beatiality was done Tastefully....You GOTTA love the balls on that guy to be able to say that with a straight face.
36. Posted by Hi-Yo Silver on February 23, 2007 1:20 PM
To coincide with the release of this film, Time-Life will be releasing the Deluxe Box Set of "Mr. Ed - The Complete Series". Special features will include a horsehide slipcase and audio commentary by the offspring of Mr. Ed and Wilbur: Sarah Silverman and Nicole Sheridan.
37. Posted by Mig on February 23, 2007 2:18 PM
You remember that time when you were a kid and you walked in on your parents having sex and you knew, instantaneously, that you had crossed some invisible line and you were never going to be the same again? Well, countless years of therapy helped me get over that sad vulnerability....and then "Zoo" went and fucked that all to shit.
38. Posted by Hairy Barker on February 23, 2007 3:43 PM
I wish my dingus was the size of a horse dingus. Oh well, I guess I can dream.
39. Posted by Heat on February 23, 2007 7:36 PM
Holy God, I knew I made a mistake when I actually took the two minutes to find the video and watch it. I am not sure I will be able to sleep tonight after watching it. It was like a freaking train wreck and I couldn't stop watching. I digress. Mainly I am speechless but ewww seriously just nasty.
40. Posted by Kate on February 25, 2007 4:54 PM
At first, I seriously thought that was that Daniel kid in the horse's eye. Like above, I am speechless and seriously grossed out. XDD
41. Posted by linciln_logs on February 28, 2007 5:01 PM
WTF?? is right.....do we really deserve this?? how do parents explain this shit? can you imagine passing the concession stand and seeing that poster staring back at you.we already did senseless killing (friday the 13th), cannibalism (silence of the lamb), etc etc...i guess this was thonly thing left.
will there be action figures?
special cups?
t shirts?
contests? Win a trip to a Texas Ranch......
42. Posted by Tony on March 2, 2007 10:34 AM
Holy horsecock, Fatman! Forget the depravity, how wasted would someone have to be to not be able to figure out the physics of trying to fit a two and a half foot colt-maker into a two by six-inch stink tube? That's like trying to fit a whole ham into a ziplock bag. You need to start small, like, maybe a retriever of some sort, or a handsome billy goat. Pace yourself before moving up to, say, domestic farm animals and perhaps a rhino. I hope the horse at least wore protection.
43. Posted by Tony P.S. on March 2, 2007 11:16 AM
Holy horsecock, Fatman! Forget the depravity, how wasted does one have to be to not figure the physics of trying to force a 2 1/2 ft. mare-pleaser into a 2 by 6 in. stinktube? That's like trying to fit a whole honey-baked ham into a ziplock bag. Can't be done without ripping(ow). You have to start small, pace yourself with maybe a retriever of some kind or a handsome goat. Then you can move on to large farm animals and perhaps a rhino. I hope the horse at least wore protection. Nobody likes a warty horse dick.
44. Posted by Mr Hands on March 3, 2007 5:41 PM
here ya go
http://moid.org/ed/mrhands.mpg
45. Posted by Get Off Me! on March 6, 2007 9:43 PM
_
46. Posted by juzzle on March 10, 2007 6:33 AM
I saw this movie. It's actually very good. It's comprised of interviews with the people involved: the guys who organized the horse-fucking, the people whose ranch the horse lived on who were unaware what was going on in the barn at night, the parents of the man who died.
It's made by the same guys who made Police Beat, and no, they are not from Hollywood.
http://www.policebeatmovie.com/