Feb 9 2007Another Even Better Hot Fuzz Trailer
A new Hot Fuzz trailer is out, succeeding again in making me desperately want something they know I can't have yet. Why not just wave some Christmas presents in front of my face early? Or maybe tell one of our boys in Iraq that he's comin' home to his family, when you know he has another four months. And even if he did get out early, you're fully aware that you started putting the moves on his wife about 10 months ago and already have his daughter calling you "popsy". Sure, it started out as just quiet discussions over coffee to "talk about how hard it is," but when it escalated to the point that half your clothes and your XBox 360 are in his bedroom, you really crossed a line. And now you're going to show him another trailer for Hot Fuzz? You, sir, are an asshole.
Feb 9 2007Here Comes Toy Story 3
I've always been a firm believer in the old adage "let sleeping dogs lie." Even if I really think a dog will enjoy something I'm seeing, if that thing's asleep, I'd rather let him miss it than not let him lie. John Lasseter is not a believer in letting sleeping dogs lie, and, in this case, the dog is the Toy Story series. Lasseter is shaking that dog, gently whispering in its floppy ear, "Hey, I've got a bone for you to bite into. It's called Toy Story 3. I'll get the voice actors back, bring in Michael Arndt for the screenplay. Ever heard of a little picture called Little Miss Sunshine? He wrote it. Oscar-nominated for it. How about that bone, pooch?" The dog bites, and grosses $350 million domestic, but it's widely acknowledged that the dog is really bleeding the concept of self-animate toys for all it's worth, nearly as much as I'm bleeding this idiotic analogy.
Feb 8 2007Shrek the Third Full Trailer
Shrek continues the business of keeping Smashmouth recording by means of fairy tale parody in Shrek the Third, and the full trailer is now available. Certain religious groups may be punished in the afterlife for celebrating this green, hellish demon's exploits, so try to enjoy the mediocre humor while you still can.
Feb 8 2007More Grindhouse Pictures
Cinematical has a new group of images from Grindhouse, including the above shot of Rose McGowan and Kurt Russell in Tarantino's Death Proof. This one shows the reason so many women have sex with pirate flags, poison bottles, and Skeletor: ladies love skulls.
Feb 8 2007Are We Done Yet? Poster
Here's the poster for Are We Done Yet?, in which Ice Cube is a Cougars fan who moves family to family, home to home, bludgeoning the residents to death with a hammer.
Or it may be a sequel to Are We There Yet? about home repair. Who's to say?
Feb 8 2007I'm Refusing to Say "Ryder Gets 'The Last Word'"
According to Production Weekly Winona Ryder has just signed on to play a lead in the new dramatic-comedy, effectively, some have said, "getting the The Last Word."
Winona Ryder will play the female lead opposite Wes Bentley and Ray Romano in Geoffrey Haley’s offbeat romantic dramadey “The Last Word.” Haley will direct his own script about a reclusive writer played by Bentley, who makes his living composing other people’s suicide notes. His life gets turned upside down after he embarks on a tumultuous romance with Ryder, the sister of a recently deceased client. Filming is set commence later this month in Los Angeles.
By the way, when I say "some have said," I meant ever movie site I've ever seen reporting this posting the clever headline, "Ryder gets The Last Word." I'm sure they'd love for me to say it, but I won't join your bandwagon, boys. I have my own bandwagon, and I've got pudding on mine.
Feb 8 2007Mr. Brooks Trailer
I thought Mr. Jones, a thriller that's unearthed Kevin Costner, was just another stupid, boring, cliched attempt at a serial killer on-the-loose story, but that was before I realized Dane Cook was in the cast. Now I've added hacky and douchebaggy to my description. See the shaggy-haired frat-boy excitement here.
Feb 7 2007No Faith in Ghost Rider
From the department of inevitability at the New York Post comes news that Mark Steven Johnson's upcoming comic book epic, Ghost Rider, will not be screened in advance for critics. When asked why they made this decision, studio officials at Sony just played the climactic scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark.
Feb 7 2007Tom Cruise, Ben Stiller to be Hardy Men
My cyberspace wasn't working yesterday and now I'm really busy with "things" today, so I apologize for the lack of updation. Anyway, try to wrap your head around this one: rumor says Tom Cruise is looking to star with Ben Stiller in an updated version of The Hardy Boys, entitled (what else?) The Hardy Men, which I assume has already been made as a gay porn. In addition, he might parody himself, working again with Stiller, in a send-up of the Mission: Impossible series.
What can I say? Sometimes Hollywood just gets it right. What confuses me is that the article claims he's doing the comedy to get some positive P.R. Hey, buddy, isn't that what buying babies is for?
Feb 5 2007Ghostbusters 3 in CGI
Rumors of a third Ghostbusters film have floated around (ghost-like) for years with little actual development, but now Dan Aykroyd has said on a radio station that it will become a reality thanks to the wonders of computer animation:
We go to the hell side of Manhattan, downtown, Foley Square. It's all where the cops are -- they are all blue minotaurs. Central Park is this huge peat mine with green demons there, surrounded by black onyx thousand-foot high apartment buildings with classic red devils, very wealthy. We go and visit a Donald Trump-like character who is Mr. Sifler. Luke Sifler. Lu-cifer. So we meet the devil in it. Now, it won't happen as a live-action, because Billy will not come on in the live-action stage anymore for it, but he will voice his part and we're looking to do it as a CGI-animated project. It lives. It lives today. Last year it didn't. This year it lives. With CGI animation and the way these cartoons are done, we can do everything I ever wrote in that script for much less money.
As much as I know this will be terrible, I can't help but be excited to see the Ghostbustes on screen again, even if Venkman's pockmarks will be just a texture map. If nothing else, should Ghostbusters 3 prove successful, it should pave the way for Aykroyd's long-planned rotoscoped Blues Brothers 3000 and claymation Nothing But MORE Trouble.
Feb 5 2007The Kingdom Poster
REMOVED
I like my heroes to be overtly heroic and my enemies to be faceless villains from a foreign culture. That's why I like this poster and American politics.
Feb 5 2007Across the Universe Trailer
From director Julie Taymor comes the self-proclaimed "most original, exhilirating, spectacular, groundbreaking motion picture of the year": a musical with Beatles songs. With lines like, "Music's the only thing that makes sense anymore, man," you'll be pleased that the stoner you knew in 9th grade finally got his script made.
Seriously, man, what does make sense besides music, man? You know what I'm talkin' about. I know you know what I'm talkin' about!
