Feb 2 2007Knocked Up International and Domestic Trailers
Trailers for Judd Apatow's new comedy Knocked Up are online, with the international above and the domestic here. I prefer the international because it says F-words.
Knocked Up Fact: Abortion kills the premise for this movie nearly as quickly as it kills a developing fetus just as its soft little hands are forming fingers. Let's move past that by pretending there's a moral issue that might make a woman reject the procedure.
Feb 2 2007New Underdog Stills
A dog flying looks a lot like a dog lying on a floor with some buildings painted on it.
More here, but why?
Feb 1 2007Delta Farce Trail-R(-Done)
I've been following Delta Farce with the same sick pleasure people take in following Paris Hilton and her ilk, watching in disgust while feeling better about myself. So, for me, finally seeing the trailer to this shitstorm was the equivalent of the Hilton exposed tapes (but slightly less disgusting).
From what I can determine, Army Reserves DJ Qualls (Road Trip), Bill Engvall (Blue Collar Comedy Tour/Blue Collar Comedy Tour Rides Again), and Larry (Cable Guy), on their way to duty in Iraq, are accidentally dropped in Mexico. Since their hatred of Mexicans is nearly equivalent to their hatred of Arabs, they decide to go ahead and make war with them anyway. Then L. Cable Guy says "Git-R-Done," destroying any possibility of creating a semi-legitimate narrative in favor of reminding us of a played-out catchphrase.
The "comedy" also features the guy from Spy Kids who I always think is Edward James Olmos. I call him Edward James Almost.
Feb 1 2007Wanna See Dead or Alive? Your Reasons Are Your Own.
Don't tell, but you can watch Dead or Alive in its entirety on Google Video (until it's removed). Finally someone has the sense to put scantily clad women on the Internet. Seriously though, there's no reason to watch this.
Jan 31 2007Bachelor Party 2!
We may now look at Tom Hanks as one the greatest actor's of all time, mocking foreigners (The Terminal), the retarded (Forrest Gump), and pathetic middle-aged singles (You've Got Mail, Sleepless in Seattle) with an unbiased, unmatched skill, but he wasn't always America's golden boy. When he was just starting out, he took a role too many of us had forgotten: an engaged man on his final night of hooker freedom in Bachelor Party.
Thankfully, a sequel is now in the works, and, wisely, the producers have recognized that it was not the comic appeal of young up-and-comer Hanks that made the first a success, but the loose, general concept of a bachelor party. Thus, nothing is retained from the original except that prize idea.
Strangely, this film will bypass it's theatrical run for a shot at Blockbuster shelves and used DVD bins.
Jan 31 2007Knocked Up Posters
Ain't It Cool News again asks the question of coolness towards three new posters for Seth Rogen's first starring picture, Knocked Up. Above is the international version, with the domestics here and here. Lemme tell ya, I haven't seen this much sperm on a poster since all those dudes came in and jacked off on all my posters.
Knocked Up Fact: Does anyone have any posters I could have?
Jan 31 2007Meet the Little Focker!
Just when I thought Bachelor Party 2 was the worst sequel of the month, a new contender arises. A third Meet the Parents movie is being made?! How did they sneak this one past me (and sensibility)?! Though I didn't see a synopsis, I'd say it's safe to assume the trilogy closes with the hilariously-named Fockers spawning a child, leading to more bumbling from idiot-everyman Ben Stiller. Maybe trying to milk baby Focker while Robert DeNiro observes condescendingly?
Jan 31 2007I Think I Love My Wife Suggestive Poster
In the poster for I Think I Love My Wife, Chris Rock sneaks the hand gesture for "I have a penis the circumference of a crockpot" past the censors. Also, he's pretending to be a skinny Steve Harvey.
I Think I Love My Fact: The tagline, "In marriage, no one can hear you scream," is a parody of the tagline for Alien. Pretty gay, huh?
Jan 30 2007Delta Farce Larry the Cable Guy Poster
Since when is a hillbilly in the army, or, more specifically, a "Redneck Rambo"...
1.) anomalous?
2.) funny?
This entire production fills me with rage.
Jan 30 2007Penelope Teaser Trailer
If you're willing to brave the MTV's hi-fi website, you can see the teaser trailer for Penelope, a cute fairytale about a girl born with a pig face. I just hope it doesn't give any actual girls with pig faces false hopes. Ladies, you are ugly and should be kept in cages.
Jan 29 2007Rush Hour 3 Teaser Trailer
If there's one thing to enjoy about the Rush Hour 3 trailer, it's that Chris Tucker was paid 25 million dollars to act like a drunk castrate.
Jan 29 2007Pirates of the Caribbean 3 Footage (barely)
Let the 2 seconds of Pirates of the Caribbean 3 footage mixed into this 30-second clip be your excuse for enjoying the adolescent eye candy of The Disney Channel.
Jan 29 2007Blades of Glory Poster
From Latino Review comes the poster for Will Ferrell's latest vehicle, Blades of Glory. It's not actual mechanics of the slogan "Kick Some Ice" that bothers me so much (though, believe me, it does bother me how little "ice" resembles "ass"), more that it's just so vaguely relevant, only chosen because it's a play on words of sorts. "Go Figure" or "Lutz of Laughs" are just as appropriate taglines.
Actually, now that I think about more, "ice" sounding nothing like "ass" does bother me just as much as the rest of it.
Jan 29 2007Aqua Teen Hunger Force Movie Trailer
Watching the trailer for the Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters is the only way to prove your hipster nature goes beyond tight pants and poorly-animated cable television--into the realm of poorly-animated cable television movies! More information available at Hot Topic.
Jan 29 2007Smiley Face Poster
What I like about the poster for Smiley Face, starring girl from Scary Movies, Jim from The Office, and guy from The OC, is that somehow, with such minimal text, it's able to subtly hint at the theme of the movie.
If this theme interests you, you can watch the trailer here. Or, if you'd like to delve even deeper, I know a guy.
