Jan 12 2007Blades of Glory Trailer
Blades of Glory, starring Will Ferrell and Jon Heder, continues where Dodgeball left off in the burgeoning Frat-Pack-Members-Playing-Silly-Sports-For-Keeps genre. The trailer for the film is now available, finally pairing one of comedy's most talented improvisational performers with that buck-toothed Mormon idiot in his sixteenth minute of fame.
It looks pretty funny, but really my problem is that, like Talladega Nights, it just seems too easy. Making fun of competitive ice skaters isn't that difficult when it revolves around men prancing around in glittering costumes, spinning into the air. It's shooting fish in a barrel, only those fish are effeminate men in tights. And the barrel: ice!
Jan 12 2007Venom Toy Gives Away Costume
There was a commercial once about a young guy going for his first job interview. He bought a new suit, and was sitting on a bench to prepare himself, when he realized--ut-oh--the paint on the bench was wet! His new black suit was covered in white stripes! Luckily, our young hero possessed ingenuity far beyond his years and, as the buffoonish painter idly watched from afar, proceeded to use the wet paint to draw more lines on his suit until it vaguely resembles pinstripes. At this point I can't remember if this inspirational message was for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Mentos, or something else altogether, but I have to assume the same method was used to make this Venom costume.
Jan 11 2007Pirates of the Caribbean 3 Pictures
The first promo images from Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End have been released, succeeding in both exciting me about the film and scaring the shit out of Scooby and Shaggy.
More and larger around here.
Jan 11 2007Meryl Streep in Mamma Mia!
To the delight of fans of musical theatre and ABBA, which I assume share largely the same audience, the stage musical Mamma Mia! will soon be headed to the screen with Meryl Streep in the role of the mamma (mia). The musical combines the story of a Greek wedding, the '70s pop music of ABBA, and general poor taste in entertainment into something that has everyone asking: "Why would I ever intentionally hear Dancing Queen outside of a wedding?" Yet, somehow, Streep will win an Oscar for this.
Jan 11 2007Megatron Can Dance
Here is a picture of Megatron, villain of the upcoming Transformers movie, finishing up his soft shoe routine. Ta-da!
Jan 9 2007Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium Trailer
In the vein of the tales of Willy Wonka and Michael Jackson comes Mr. Magorium: another story about a rich, eccentric, homosexual pedophile indulging himself in a brightly colored, child-like environment, allowing him to behave as immaturely as his prey. Here's what's supposedly a rough cut of the trailer. Plus, it's got Natalie Portman lookin' like a cutie and, as required from every movie of 2007, Jason Bateman in a supporting role.
Jan 9 2007Black Snake Moan Trailer
If you have a fetish of seeing a half-naked, bruised and anorexic Christina Ricci being yanked around by Samuel L. Jackson, looking like he's straight out of Disney's Song of the South, this looks like it will be the film for you. Any other hot stars? Well, let's just say someone's copy of Sexy is overdue, and they totally bring it back to Black Snake Moan!
Jan 9 2007Best Parts of Wicker Man
Seeing that Nic Cage's The Wicker Man didn't perform so well at the box office, someone has done the courtesy of piecing together what they consider the best scenes from the movie for your viewing enjoyment, saving you the trouble of trying to watch the actual film. I wouldn't have bothered, except it turned out all the best parts involve Cage stealing bikes, screaming, punching women, wearing a bear costume, and punching women while wearing a bear costume, which makes it strangely worthwhile.
Jan 9 2007Nomad the Poster
Until this poster, I hadn't heard of Nomad the Warrior, but apparently it's a historical epic set in Kazakhstan. Or, as it will likely be advertised, "Borat with swords! Is nice!"
Nomad the Fact: You can rearrange the words in Nomad the Warrior into virtually any combination and the title is just as good.
Jan 8 2007The Hills Have Eyes 2
When the teaser trailer to The Hills Have Eyes 2 began, and I saw a mutant freak dragging a man through the desert by a rope, my first thought was, "I'm glad I'm not that guy!" No stranger to irony, another mutant then begins dragging me* across the desert with a rope!
*"Me" in as much as it's "me" having sex with Jenna Jameson in Virtual Sex with Jenna Jameson.
Jan 8 2007Kirsten Dunst as Debbie Harry?
Ut-oh, Kirsten Dunst! What have you done now? Revealed that you might be playing Blondie's Debbie Harry in a biopic by Michel Gondry? Says Film Ick:
Yet again, Kirsten Dunst has let a closely guarded secret out of her loose lips. In an interview with the New Zealand website Stuff, she has announced an upcoming project with Michel Gondry. She lets on that the film is "about somebody who everybody knows, but I can't say who it is" and then admits that this person is a "well-known singer".This chimes perfectly with the bits and pieces I have picked up about the potential Debbie Harry biopic - but I simply didn't know that Michel was directing. Now I do, then, yes, maybe, I can see a reason to be very excited about this film.
I find both choices ideal, because I've always thoroughly believed Debbie Harry's life could best be expressed through surreal stop-motion, bizarre props, and terrible, snaggle-toothed acting. Hooray!
