Nov 28 2006The Identity of the Next Bond Villain?
If The Mirror is the Bible of fact that I know it is, and if Scott of InsomniacMania is the thorough, critical reader I know him to be, and if Eva Green actually knows what she's talking about, she may have revealed the identity of the next Bond villain! The actress told the tabloid that spy's nemesis in the next movie will be the boyfriend of the character she played in Casino Royale.
If this is true, I consider it a victory to boyfriends everywhere. I mean, when it comes down to it, Bond is really just the ultimate embodiment of the douchebag who hits on your girlfriend at a party. Sure, he's just talking, maybe trying to get some information on a villain mastermind's secret headquarters, but does he have to keep dropping how he's a spy, and showing off how his cuff links can shoot poisoned darts? And now he wants to take her around the block in his Aston Martin? Go right ahead. I'm not jealous. Oh, you've got a British accent, too? Yeah, you're really fucking cool. It's about time a boyfriend sticks it to James Bond.
Reader Comments
1. Kid Braggart - November 28, 2006 11:46 AM
He's James Bond. Of course he'll trump any sunken-chested boyfriend anyday.
The villain will inevitably explain his torturing of Bond happening "because she was my soulmate!" Might take some of the gravity out of that otherwise tense laser-pointed-at-the-dick scene.
2. captainwalker - November 28, 2006 4:45 PM
So menacing.
For all folks who accurately predicted that Daniel Craig would break box office records as Bond to overwhelming praise I say - wait; nobody did this. Everyone freaked out and guaranteed he'd suck. Yeah this means you.
What do we learn from this? That conviction is situational at best. And that we the collective scum of the earth don't know a godamn thing about one another.
Cheers!