Nov 3 2006Evan Almighty Trailer
Sorry for the abrupt hiatus. There was a death and subsequent funeral I had to rush to, but things should be back to mediocre now. Speaking of which, the trailer to Evan Almighty is out.
The movie stars Steve Carell as Evan Baxter (if all the Steve Carell comedies lately have got you a bit tired of the guy, just keep in mind it could have been Will Ferrell), reprising his role from 2003's Bruce Almighty, with Morgan Freeman again playing God. While Bruce was given the incredible powers of God himself, Evan is given the age-old task of Noah: to make an ark to carry two of each species. Watching the trailer, you'll find the job has lost some of its impressiveness since Hillary Duff began demanding the same thing before every performance.
Nov 3 2006Bee Movie Teaser
When you've tired of all of the other computer-generated animated insect movies at your disposal, make sure you check out the teaser trailer for Jerry Seinfeld's Bee Movie. Think of it as another season of Seinfeld that's animated, starring bees, and might not be based on his 20-year-old stand-up routines.*
Strangely, though the film is animated, the teaser stars live-action Seinfeld and Chris Rock in big fuzzy bug costumes being sprayed down with a hose, leading 'furry' lovers to call it "the biggest boner since Death to Smoochy."
*This is a lie. Everything Seinfeld has said in the last twenty years was written prior to 1985.
Oct 31 2006Take the "Bridge to Terabithia"... or There's a Nice Ferry.
Two friends discover a fantastic hidden world (not MySpace) full of sword-wielding insects and giants that they must save from the cleverly-named Dark Master in Bridge to Terabithia. Based on the Newbery Award-winning novel, the trailer to Disney's fantasy/adventure romp is now cyber-viewable.
When I was young I loved whimsical stories like this, where everyday kids stumble upon something extraordinary that allows them a world that no one else knows. Now, I only love stories where animals talk or play sports. I don't know what I was thinking back then.
Oct 30 2006Chun-Li/"Street Fighter" Movie Combo
In the early-to-mid '90s, I ruled the local arcade scene. With dark sunglasses and gloves with the fingers cut off, my chronic forehead acne barely visible by the glow of the machines, I held this kingdom (Pizza Kingdom: Home of the Henry the XVI-Incher) as my own. And as I was their king, I had chosen a queen. With actual girls largely uninterested in my arcade standing, "Street Fighter II" sat beside me at the throne. Now, just as I return to Pizza Kingdom every few weeks, desperately hoping someone remembers my former glory, Hyde Park Entertainment and Capcom are praying someone will remember the popularity of "Street Fighter" as the two begin working on a new film focusing on the Chun-Li character, now best known as the subject of illustrated pornography.
Looking back at the character, I will always remember the fighting goddess's quick combinations that led many friends to say, "Would you stop doing that lightning kick bullshit? You're so fucking cheap," and I can't help but get excited about this. Unfortunately, I also remember the 1994 Jean-Claude Van Damme movie, which ranks low even in the Van Damme library, and I continue getting ready for my weekly trip to Pizza Kingdom.
Oct 30 2006"Hostel: Part II" Teaser Trailer
In the teaser trailer for Eli Roth's Hostel: Part II, a German man reads US firearm and stabbing murder statistics, claiming American's aren't creative enough in their murder. Will these guys ever stop bragging about the Holocaust?
Oct 30 2006Hurwitz in "The Thick of It," Like Me with Your Mom
Good news, Arrested Development fans: though we may never see the Bluths return to television, their creator, Mitchell Hurwitz, is developing a US version of the British political sitcom The Thick of It. The show won Best New Comedy at the British Comedy Awards, and Development writer Richard Day will pen the pilot script. With such a promising outlook, the show will definitely be cancelled before it finishes its first season. America just isn't ready for a sitcom without Kevin James, Ray Ramano, or a sober Charlie Sheen in it.*
*Preferably all together, which is why I'm pitching the pilot Those Three Guys You're Familiar With to CBS.
