August 7, 2006
Green Lantern Script is Stupid
IESB has a summary and review of what's said to be the latest Green Lantern script. Written by Robert Smigel of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog and Saturday TV Funhouse fame, it takes an all-new bumbling Green Lantern and puts him in comic scenarios, such as scenes with singing puppets and Green Lantern Kilowog taking the new Lantern recruit to Olive Garden.
Green Lantern fanatics are sure to be mad about the take on the hero, but I say let he who has not enjoyed the taste, value, and "hospitaliano" of The Olive Garden cast the first stone. When you're an intergalactic warrior armed with the Green Lantern ring, sometimes you need more than a recharging battery lantern to keep yourself going. That energy can only come in the form of bottomless breadsticks and a never-ending pasta bowl. The Green Lantern ring can create any form, and sometimes that form is affordable Italian food in a classy environment.
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Comments
1. Posted by Pat on August 7, 2006 9:19 AM
Robert Smigel? Huh? What's next? Matt Groening writes Martian Manhunter? Conan O'Brien writes The Flash?
If it's cheesy and funny in a 50's sci-fi way, that's all good, because that's largely what GL is anyway, but a bumbling Green Lantern? Come on! If it's going to be goofy, the best way to do it is to have Hal Jordan play it straight, like all those DC motherfuckers did in the fifties while stupid-ass shit was happening.
2. Posted by Ravenjade on August 7, 2006 10:48 AM
As honourable doctor Cinnamin J. Scudworth said about the Olive Garden: "It's like dining in a delightful Italian stereotype"
...Points to anyone who's seen Clone High.
3. Posted by Praz on August 7, 2006 11:00 AM
Oh I get it, because "olive" is a shade of green.
No seriously, why can't he use Mxtlplyk or Lobo instead - a character that's meant to be goofy, rather than The Green Lantern.
4. Posted by andrewthezeppo on August 7, 2006 12:51 PM
sounds like a great script...FOR ME TO POOP ON!
5. Posted by ScriptRadar on August 7, 2006 6:46 PM
It's been developed for Jack Black - supposedly.
6. Posted by uni'tard on August 7, 2006 10:02 PM
"i wouldn't take a dump in the olive garden"
well i think i can understand why they're camping it up. they could have done it totally serious, but the problem is the general public doesn't even know who green lantern is. so making it funny i suppose would draw in a bigger crowd. i guess.
7. Posted by BobDeFish on August 8, 2006 6:56 AM
I always thought that Aquaman was a great DC character for a stupid comedy.
Damn WB had to go and try make a serious Smallville spinoff though.
Heres hoping that this dies in development hell and we get a Lobo movie instead.
8. Posted by Zapp Brannigan on August 9, 2006 2:45 AM
I doubt Jack Black would even go for this. It sounds that bad.
9. Posted by Pat on August 9, 2006 12:43 PM
Instead of making a million movies for a million characters, half of which are going to be bad (though, I have to say, I loved Superman Returns and Batman Begins, and Joss Whedon is writing Wonder Woman, so that'll be good), I think DC should make one long, amazing Justice League movie.
Who am I kidding? No one would go see that.