Aug 25 2006More Upright Citizens Brigade Coming to DVD
Maybe this is already public knowledge, but I forgot to mention that a few weeks ago, while attending the Upright Citizens Brigade's Asssscat 10th Anniversary Show, someone asked the group if more seasons of their short-lived Comedy Central series would be released on DVD. Their response: yes. I want to say they even said it was possibly this year, but I can't say for sure. I was distracted by a giant freak (both in physical dimensions and freakitude) in front of me who couldn't pick a spot. Every time I tried to situate myself to see around him, he'd rock around and settle directly in front of me again, treating me to his massive, sweaty neck. A mirror couldn't have imitated my movements any better.
So, if you're an Upright Citizens Brigade fan, look forward to the next season coming soon. If you're a giant freak who was in attendance, know that you're disgusting and I hate you.
Aug 25 2006Kevin Smith To Shoot Horror Film (against a wall)
Kevin Smith is known for his dialogue-driven comedies, but according to a recent interview, the writer/director is ready to try out a new genre, planning to make his next film a horror:
Next up I want to do a horror movie. I just think it would be kinda interesting -- for me at least -- to go left. I've made seven comedies, or variation thereof, and some people would argue that none of them are funny. But it would be nice to make a horror movie. An intentional horror movie, not like Jersey Girl. [much laughter]. It's a genre that I grew up watching on VHS and on cable when I was a kid
No jokes and stuff, not like Scary Movie 4. There are people that do that really well, like Edgar Wright with Shaun of the Dead, but I don't want to make a comedic one, I want to make a straight-forward horror movie.
I'd love to see Kevin Smith be less safe and try doing something else, but I just don't see this happening. We've all seen how faithful he is to his word about what he will and won't make. If I know Kevvie, him saying he'll make a horror movie can mean only one thing: In five years, we can expect Mallrats 2.
Aug 25 2006Little Children Trailer
The trailer for Little Children looks pretty intense, showing two strained relationships that are about to explode like a metaphorical train wreck. I was able to derive this from the images of troubled relationships and hinted romances accompanied by the steady soundtrack of an oncoming train. It was the same way I was able to recognize my grandma's death as a madcap, goofy ride from the sounds surrounding her, which left me with a confused feeling. Why did she have to die watching The Benny Hill Show? Why was the wacky, sped-up pursuit of a beautiful woman so hilarious, even in this time of crisis? And who had stabbed my grandma?
The movie, by the Academy Award nominated director of In the Bedroom, Todd Field, stars Academy Award nominee Kate Winslet, Academy Award winner Jennifer Connelly, and Patrick Wilson, a good-for-nothing nobody.
Aug 25 2006Children of Men, Poster of Fetus
The new movie Children of Men shows us what a mistake it was to let women get jobs. First it's wanting to work, then it's wanting to control their childbirthin', then it's losing the biological ability to reproduce, starring Clive Owen, Julianne Moore, and Michael Caine. In this new poster, we also see the mistake in the pro-life argument: an early human fetus is basically a cocktail shrimp with ears. Let's face it, life doesn't start until you've tried the appetizer sampler at Applebee's. Dee-lish.
Aug 25 2006Megatron Has A-Hole Mouth
More robot designs from Transformers have slipped out, these of the evil leader Megatron. I absolutely hate it as a Transformer design, but love it as the alien rapist in an anime porn. It's way too much. If only these designers could strike some kind of balance between updated modern looks, classic design and alien rapist.
Full body shot, including transformation to "alien jet" after the jump.
Aug 25 2006Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning Characters
I was sick something awful yesterday, but thanks to the wonders of penicillin I'm back better than ever, minus certain sexual functions. And now, since everyone loved the first Dukes of Hazzard, here's a shot of the new cast of Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning in-character. This Dukes look to be just like first, except with everything far worse. I feel like some of the "good ol' boy" feel of the previous incarnations is lost here in favor of a "Please don't dirty my freshly pressed jeans--I paid $200 for these"-boy feel.
Still though, check out the waist on Daisy. You could wrap a watchband around that thing.
Aug 23 2006David Brent's Microsoft UK Training Video
part 1
Hoping of giving the illusion that they're not a humorless corporate entity, Bill Gates and the boys at Microsoft UK commissioned Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant to make a training video that features Gervais's The Office character David Brent. If you have forty minutes and liked the duo's comedy stylings, enjoy the wit and wonder. Now those who said Gates lacked any humor will have to concede that he just lacks business ethics and any sort of visible jawline.
part 2
Aug 22 2006Mortal Kombat Enters The Unnecessary Sequel Code
In what he sadly considers bad news, Robin Shou, known(?) best as Liu Kang from the two best kombat movies ever made, Mortal Kombat and Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, has announced thatt he is being excluded from the next chapter of the Mortal Kombat saga because it focuses on Sub-Zero. Says Mr. Shou:
I got the bad news. I won't be in the next MK. Apparently, Sub-Zero will be the new hero. How'd that come about? No body knows. As if my character never existed. The story supposedly takes place before Lui Kang's time. A prequel of prequel. I haven't read the script but the word out there was... bad. I guess that's why it's taking this long for it to happen.
Though it's bad news for Shou that he won't get another great part, the worse news is clearly for everyone else on earth. I had no idea they were making another one of these things. Hearing this makes me feel like someone froze me, upper-cutted me, threw a little spike on a rope through my neck, (pulled me in and upper-cutted me again), turned into an animal, and tore my head and spine out of my body. And it was sweet!
Aug 22 2006New Eragon Poster Rides the Awesome Dragon!
The new poster for Eragon, based on the best-selling fantasy adventure novel about a Dragon Rider in a magical world, has been released, ready for nerds to print, cut apart, and use on their Dungeons & Dragons character sheets. Does your human warrior look like Amistad guy or John Malkovich? Or will you simply use Jeremy Irons, replacing the current Jeremy Irons you cut out of the poster for Dungeons and Dragons.
Aug 22 2006Thundercats Join A Band
Well, they're remaking Thundercats. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised by any remakes at this point, but somehow Thundercats seemed untouchable. Not for the sanctity of the material, just because it's hard enough to believe someone was willing to make a cartoon about a group of cat-people from the planet Thundera fighting a transforming mummy and his band of mutants in the first place, let alone remake it. Luckily, the content is being re-imagined with the same desperate sense of "cool" as a divorced dad trying hopelessly to win the affections of his child:
WB animation is remaking the Thundercats as an animated TV series. The animation style is whimsical, Americanized-anime, along the lines of Teen Titans. The setting is modern-day Earth, in a major city (possibly LA) The Thundercats are all teenagers. Their leader is Snarf (!) who is now a mystic with a "third" eye. Each of the Thundercats has a weapon with an "Eye of Thunderra" and transformative powers (not just Lion-O) When they aren't fighting evil, the Thundercats play together as a rock band. That's not a typo, or a joke. They are rockin' cats in their present form. Mum-Ra now has wings.
Seeing as how they're willing to make changes to the point of making the entire group teenagers in a rock band together, I have some other ideas they might as well tack on as well. First, let's forget fighting the mutants. They can just travel place to place solving mysteries. And ditch the whole "cat-people" idea. They can just wear cat costumes (long tails and ears for hats). And while we're at it, call them Josie and the Pussycats.
Oh, and give Mum-Ra some fucking wings, for god's sake.
Aug 21 2006Indiana Jones IV May Happen Thanks To McGuffin
Will Indiana Jones IV finally escape its temple of doom and make its last crusade onto screens? Does that even make sense? The answer to at least one of those questions was given by the Indy triumvirate--Lucas, Spielberg and Ford--as the trio revealed that, yes, they probably might make Indiana Jones IV in maybe mid-2007 for a 2008 release possibly. How are they so nearly certain? Because Lucas has a new philosophy on the series: make it as shitty as he made Star Wars.
"We're basically going to do The Phantom Menace", says Lucas (stay with him here, he's making a point). "People's expectations are way higher than you can deliver. You could just get killed for the whole thing...We would do it for fun and just take the hit with the critics and the fans...But nobody wants to get into it unless they are really happy with it".The 'damned if you do, damned if you don't' situation has freed up an idea for a plot that was originally deemed too incendiary.
"I discovered a McGuffin," continues Lucas, still reluctant to name said McGuffin. "I told the guys about it and they were a little dubious about it, but it's the best one we've ever found... Unfortunately, it was a little too 'connected' for the others. They were afraid of what the critics would think. They said, "Can't we do it with a different McGuffin? Can't we do this?" and I said "No". So we pottered around with that for a couple of years. And then Harrison really wanted to do it and Steve said, "Okay". I said, "We'll have to go back to that original MacGuffin and take out the offending parts of it and we'll still use that area of the supernatural do deal with it".
So the possibility for Indiana Jones IV has opened because of a McGuffin, eh? But of course, when Lucas throws around an unspecified McGuffin in an interview like this, fans are only going to be wondering one thing--why the hell does he keep saying "McGuffin"? Honestly, did he just hear the word?
Aug 21 2006Bug Trailer -- Gross!
When a beautiful waitress at a backwoods bar falls for the obvious seductions of a creepy-looking hilljack, he somehow shoots some bugs* into her during or after intercourse in the trailer for William Friedkin's Bug. Unless the bugs were just in the hotel room; I'm really not sure what was going on most of the time. But trust me when I say that eventually Ashey Judd and friends get plagued with an infestation of bugs under their skin. Despite boasting a poster swiped from Saw, the Chicago Tribune is saying Bug is "one of the most disturbing horror movies imaginable." Meanwhile, Pete Doherty is saying, "Yeah, I hate it when bugs get under your skin and you can't get them out."
*not a euphemism for sperm.
Aug 21 2006See Transformers As Robots
Though not in any official sense, and small enough that my grandma would mistake them for coupons, the first full images of the Transformers (from the movie and the toys of the movie Transformers) are turning up online. First came Bumblebee in all his glory, and now Optimus Prime, Blackout, and Scorpinok have been added to the mix. Looking at the designs, it's clear Transformers purists will have some problems with some of it--particularly the idiotic flames they put on Optimus Prime's side and how Scorpinok's scorpion tail, in robot form, transforms into a penis with "Wang you very much" written across it. It could at least be in the Transformers typeface.
More under the cut, or here.
Aug 21 2006The Prestige One-Sheet (In the style of a sexy thriller)
Christopher Nolan's new film, The Prestige, may be about magicians, but the poster sure isn't all smoke and mirrors! Ha-ha! Actually, a fairly large portion of it is smoke. And I can't figure out why they'd sell a movie with an awesome trailer like it has as if it were a Basic Instinct sequel. Given this poster, I assume Hugh Jackman is playing a hotshot detective hot on the trail of Christian Bale, a young attorney who may be a little too perfect for Scarlett Johansson (because he's also a murderer!).
Aug 20 2006Switching Servers
If you're reading this it means you're on our new server. We were sharing a server with The Superficial but that turned out to be a bad idea so we got our own. It might take a bit for the new server to propogate but if you're reading this it means you have nothing to worry about. In fact, if you can read this it means you don't even need to read this. Oh, cruel irony.
