Aug 10 2006Grindhouse Posters: With Amputees!
The poster for Planet Terror is more than it first seems. If you look carefully, you'll see that it's not just a gun pictured. There's also a woman. And if you look closer, she's actually attached to that gun. That's right, it's a woman with a gun for a leg. It's bad news for her enemies, good news for a guy who might be sitting in front of her when she aims it, since he might get to see her cooter if it's a high enough target.
See another Planet Terror poster, as well as one for Quentin Tarentino's companion piece in the Grindhouse collaboration, Death Proof, behind the cut.
Aug 10 2006Halo To Be Directed By Some Guy
After months of speculation as to what director would sink their teeth into the big screen adaptation of the hugely-popular (among dudes and nerds) game franchise, Halo, a name has finally been given: Neill Blomkamp?
Neill Blomkamp has nabbed the job of directing "Halo," Universal Pictures and 20th Century Fox's big-screen adaptation of the video game series. The games follow a character named Master Chief and his companion Cortana as they try to save the galaxy from alien forces called the Flood.
The news was bigger to some people than others. In particular, the day manager at Old Country Buffet, who now needs to find someone else to slice the roast with Neill leaving. And probably Uwe Boll, who must be thrilled that someone else is likely to make as terrible of a video game movie as him.
Aug 10 2006Make Your Own Grease!
There's only one thing that would make Grease any better. No, not more music. It's if you got to choose the cast! And you can, thanks to NBC's midseason entry You're The One That We Want. Contestants compete for roles on a Broadway revival of the show, which viewers can then vote on to decide the leads. After the parts are cast, America makes one final decision to never see the terrible version of Grease they cast with morons.
Aug 9 2006The Last King of Scotland Trailer... Ever!
Moments before his death in August 2003, Ugandan president Idi Amin, responsible for the torture and murder of hundreds of thousands of Ugandans, was playing a party game where everyone had to choose who would play them in a movie. After a military general said "Denzel" to a mixed response, Idi Amin's turn came. "How about 'Ghost Dog'?" Everyone agreed that was good casting, and not just out of the threat of torture and murder. See how right Amin was in this trailer for The Last King of Scotland, starring Forest Whitaker.
Aug 9 2006The Ground Truth Trailer
I was under the impression war was something like a Wolfenstein 3d, but according to this new documentary featuring interviews with soldiers back from the war, The Ground Truth, it's not all switching weapons and killing Nazis. It's apparently a fairly traumatic experience to be trained to kill and sent to a foreign country, where you must witness and cause the deaths of an untold number of people. The switching weapons part is still probably pretty cool, though.
Aug 9 2006NBC May Add Fourth Hour of Crap to Today
NBC is gearing up to prepare housewives for the biggest choice of their lives: What to watch when Today is up against The View. As if stealing their darling Meredith wasn't enough, NBC is now looking to add a fourth hour of concerts for washed-up artists and forced awkward chatter to its already epic scale, putting them up against ABC's The View in many markets. This despite the fact Today usually runs out of content around 7:15.
The extra hour is all part of a larger plan by NBC to make me sleep until noon.
Aug 7 2006Borat Trailer Is Nice
When I found out Sacha Baron Cohen's Borat character was going to be made into a feature film, I assumed it would turn out like so many other sketches-turned-movies, desperately trying to stretch a five-minute idea across two hours. Luckily, Borat doesn't seem to do that. The trailer makes it look like it's mostly his typical in-character interviews with unsuspecting people who try to deal with his taboo behavior. And he brings chickens in a suitcase on a train! Hah!
Unfortunately, a certain someone has recently taken some of the wonderment from running around yelling womanizing and anti-semitic comments, meaning if Borat wants to keep up, he'll probably have to expose himself. Or direct Braveheart.
Aug 7 2006See Transformers Transforming!
The crack journalists at Access Hollywood have gotten the first glimpse at robot footage from Transformers, making me worry if Entertainment Tonight will finally be surpassed as the hardest-hitting journalism on television. The footage, videotaped from the screen of a video monitor, is about the same quality as the bootleg of Click I bought on the street last week but somehow managed to have less enjoyable content.
The effects are so preliminary that it looks like they're made for a local attorney's commercial. They just need to add a number to call if you're attacked unfairly by a Transformer. But if the video reveals one thing, it's that the movie will involve cars that transform into robots.
Ain't It Cool has trimmed the crap off the clip and has it here.
Aug 7 2006Tenacious D Trailer Will Rock You
Do you rock? Then watch the trailer to the Tenacious D movie, The Pick of Destiny. If you like Tenacious D, you'll be giddy with excitement. If you don't, you'll probably make a slight sneer and a few eye rolls. But everyone has to agree that with a magic guitar pick, tickling sasquatches, Satan drumming, six-armed guitaring, and hits to the crotch, this may be the closest we come to seeing the life of Suri Cruise before the corpse turns up in six months.
Aug 7 2006Green Lantern Script is Stupid
IESB has a summary and review of what's said to be the latest Green Lantern script. Written by Robert Smigel of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog and Saturday TV Funhouse fame, it takes an all-new bumbling Green Lantern and puts him in comic scenarios, such as scenes with singing puppets and Green Lantern Kilowog taking the new Lantern recruit to Olive Garden.
Green Lantern fanatics are sure to be mad about the take on the hero, but I say let he who has not enjoyed the taste, value, and "hospitaliano" of The Olive Garden cast the first stone. When you're an intergalactic warrior armed with the Green Lantern ring, sometimes you need more than a recharging battery lantern to keep yourself going. That energy can only come in the form of bottomless breadsticks and a never-ending pasta bowl. The Green Lantern ring can create any form, and sometimes that form is affordable Italian food in a classy environment.
