Jul 21 2006Heath Ledger is the Joker?

According to the fabulous Latin gentlemen at Latino Review, the role of the Joker in the sequel to Batman Begins has been offered to the Australian star of Brokeback Mountain, Heath Ledger:

We were first to tell the world that Brandon Routh was going to be the new Superman. Now here we are at it again as we just got word from A VERY TRUSTED SOURCE that the offer last night was officially made to Heath Ledger to star as The Joker in the Batman Begins Sequel!

Funny that he'd be wearing more makeup as a crazed murderer than as a homosexual, eh? Funny if you're a homophobe! Think about it, bigot.

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Jul 21 2006Teenage Mutant Teaser Trailer

The classic 80's phenomenon Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles has been re-imagined as a grittier, computer-generated movie for a new generation, and you can watch the first teaser online to see what it's like. After some questionable sequels to the original film and cartoon series, seeing the trailer reminded me why I loved the Turtles so much in the first place: because I was a stupid little shit that liked anything with the word "ninja" in it.

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Jul 21 2006Deadman Coming to Theatres

Hot news, fans of lame comic book heroes! Hellboy director Guillermo del Toro is in negotiations to act as producer in bringing the DC comic Deadman to the screen. If you don't know the character:

Deadman is the ghost of a circus acrobat named Boston Brand, who was murdered during a trapeze performance. His spirit was granted the power by a Hindu goddess to possess any living being in order to find his killer. In the ensuing search, Brand finds himself obliged to help others.

If anything shows that a superhero comes from a bygone era and maybe shouldn't be made into a big-budget movie, it's that he wears a v-neck that dips to his navel with a collar up to the top of his head. The only one they're making this one work is if they get a big name or an actual dead man, both of which can be found in Keith Richards. How about it, buddy?

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Jul 20 2006Snakes in Another Trailer (Plane)

I've been so overwhelmed by snakes on planes I've forgotten which things I've seen and haven't, but that won't stop me from posting them. I think there's a teaser I hadn't yet seen on Yahoo! so click and enjoy the Snakes on a Plane now, while you can. Because once you're in the theatre, you're going to realize what a mistake it was that you ever showed interest in this project.

It's like that girl you're checking out while drunk. Sure, enjoy the view, have some fun, take her home, but know in the morning you're not going to understand why you were putting effort into this one.

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Jul 20 2006Pan's Labyrinth Comic-Con Exclusive Poster

If you're at the San Diego Comic-Con this weekend, make sure to pick up one of these exclusive posters to Guillermo Del Toro's new fantasy-horror film Pan's Labyrinth designed by Hellboy creator Mike Mignola. If you cover the horns, I think it kind of looks like Tyra Banks. Or, if you keep the horns, the future of Tyra Banks.

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Jul 20 2006More Friends DVD Sets!

If you're sick of having to flip between channels to catch every Friends episode in a day, and don't want to bother pulling out your current complete box set, let me suggest purchasing the new complete series box set. On just 40 discs you get every episode, plus a 60-page commemorative book that I guarantee will not appreciate in value. If you already own the previous box set and wish to purchase this one for the booklet and new packaging, you can use the first box to hold your dignity. You won't be needing it anymore.

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Jul 19 2006Renaissance Trailer

Set in the near future, Renaissance is the French's attempt at the science fiction genre of "corporation-driven totalitarian rule with an obsession towards youth and beauty." Using sophisticated technology, they've created a world inhabited by computer-generated characters with the sharp black & white contrast of Sin City. The style looks great for the story, but I worry about future applications. If they start doing this to porno, bare breasts will probably look like Garfield's eyes.

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Jul 19 2006Night at the Museum Poster

The new poster for the Ben Stiller museum-coming-to-life-at-night comedy has been released. The image's coloring, style of the text, and my general lack of education lead me to believe this is some sort of The Mummy sequel. Speaking of which, why aren't there any fucking mummies in this poster? If you bring a museum to life, one of the first things that's going to happen is mummy attack. They're at museums, they're naturally vengeful; it's common knowledge.

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Jul 19 2006Bobby Poster

The one-sheet to Bobby, the story of Robert Kennedy, has been released. I'd mention who's in it, but that already takes up two-third of the poster. The other third is a broken campaign sign with the image of Kennedy, which I think confirms my assassination conspiracy theory: that Kennedy is NOT dead! The shooter was in fact shooting at a cardboard dummy and simply shot the top off it. The twenty minutes that Kennedy supposedly remained conscious after being shot I attribute to ventriloquism.

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Jul 18 2006The Fountain Poster

What if you could live forever? If the answer is shave your head and stand on some branches in space, have I got the movie poster for you.

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Jul 18 2006Owen Wilson & Wes Anderson Together Again

Since Owen Wilson's acting career has taken off and his writing collaborator Wes Anderson made The Life Aquatic with a different co-writer, there's been some question when the two would again work together. Speaking to CNN, Wilson answered the question:

I am going to do a movie with my friend Wes [Anderson] in India, and that's not going to be a buddy comedy movie. [I play] one of three brothers, and they go on this journey in India. I haven't really spoken to Wes yet in regards to what I can really talk about.

An Owen Wilson/Wes Anderson movie about brothers traveling to India sounds pretty great if they can bring in the adventure elements that made The Life Aquatic so exciting. And even better if the three brothers are Wayans (cut Shawn--he's dead weight). Watch out, Bill Murray, that Marlon's a scene stealer.

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Jul 18 2006Steven Spielberg Update

Spielbergfilms.com nabbed an interview with the director at his CIFF Tribute. It's a pretty interesting read if you care about the status of Indiana Jones 4, his Lincoln movie, and Interstellar, his wormhole project. Actually, he's basically just trying to work on all of them and unsure of what he's doing next, so it's really not that interesting. So how about reading Catcher in the Rye instead? That shit's raw!

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Jul 17 2006The Amazing Spider-Man 3 Poster

On the official Spider-Man movie website you can not only see what the new Spider-Man 3 poster looks like, but see how it changes from red to black when you move back-and-forth past it in a theatre, saving millions of geeks the painful public humiliation that is leaving their homes. The sophisticated technology used to create the effect is the same as the one used at that shop in the "dirty mall" that sells all those portraits of Jesus that do things like bleed or wink when you walk past.

Click the above shot to see the astounding change.

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Jul 17 2006The Science of Sleep Trailer

The full trailer for The Science of Sleep has finally been released. The film, starring Gael Garcia Bernal and directed by Michel Gondry, answers the question of what could happen if your dreams take-over your life. The answer is surprisingly similar to the question of what would it look like if you gave a plot to a Peter Gabriel video. Or "Why did I take so many shrooms?"

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