Jun 16 2006In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Trailer
The best thing to come out of Germany since the Volkswagen Beetle is clearly director Uwe Boll, director of such gems as House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark, and BloodRayne. If you don't believe me, watch the trailer to his newest masterpiece, In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale. He's taken his classic formula of making a video game into a horrible movie to a new level this time. His newest innovation is doing the titles with WordArt. I admire his restraint in not using the "chrome" effect, which can be tacky if not used appropriately.
I don't fully understand the workings of the German government, but if something can be done to stop him, maybe some safeguard you've put into place to prevent another Hitler, please do it. It's time to pull the ripcord. Otherwise, we're gonna have to fight him.
Reader Comments
1. Praz - June 16, 2006 10:54 AM
Is this real? Oh god, why would they release such an obviously unfinished trailer. Some of the fight scenes didn't even look that bad.
2. LB - June 16, 2006 12:06 PM
Ninjas?
Anyway, hopefully my man crush on Jason Statham will help me get through this okay.
3. punctiliouspig - June 16, 2006 12:19 PM
that looks so much like burt reynolds.
4. ScriptRadar - June 16, 2006 12:31 PM
Any one up for a Uwe Boll film festival? Cause that would rock hard.
5. andrewthezeppo - June 16, 2006 1:16 PM
Has anybody else heard that Uwe Boll actually makes money when his movies flop? I don't remember the detailed, but it sounded as if making bad movies is profitable for him.
anyways, the real question is how did they trick Jason Statham and Ray Liota into being in this? Seriously? How does he keep getting good actors Bloodrayne had BEN KINGSLY got goodness sake.
6. pixelbasic - June 16, 2006 11:05 PM
#5 I don't think they were doing anything that weekend.
7. Psyn - June 17, 2006 4:00 AM
This sickens me. Not only is this "Man" making money off of this but also how he is even allowed to put this garbage on the screen. I mean this really looks like it should be aired on as a tv movie(most probably on UPN) or a straight to DVD B-Movie.
But I suppose it shall be a very sad yet very glorious day you hear he is making a Devil May Cry movie, for I will personally find and kill him.
8. Fappae - June 17, 2006 4:23 AM
I dont get why his movies get dissed so much? this movie dosent look any worse than Troy, Kingdom of heaven, and countless other movies of this genre. And i heard that his movies do pretty well at the box office despite all the negative reviews. dont know if thats true or not though.
9. Psyn - June 17, 2006 11:45 PM
Here is your answer Fappae:
1) to start things off, have you seen House of the Dead? if so then you can't honestly say that the movie was good in any shape or form. I can't even enjoy it as a bad horror movie. After something like that, no matter how many more movies this idiot makes, they will all be viewed as crud. Well, I'll be fair. He was given a 2nd chance by SOME people for Alone in the Dark, THEN he was officially no longer trusted.
2) Did you look at the same trailer everyone else did? When I watch Troy (and for the record I didn't like that movie) or Kingdom of Heaven it at least looks like a movie-movie I'm watching. Y'know? The kinds they play on the big screen? As I mentioned before, the quality really looks like a tv movie. What I didn't mention before is that some of the clips they showed did look quite interesting however nothing very epic.
3) my final point. everything I will bring up here if fact and not opinion: Uwe Boll somehow gets these rights to make a movie from a video game. He WILL purposefully make it low budget no matter what the movie is. To top that off he ALWAYS stays clear from whatever plot the game originally had. So even if the movie was good as a movie (which, btw, none of them EVER are)he still killed what made the game cool (which is why people would go see the movie in the first place) bringing down the movies worth.
I'll understand why you'd ask this question if you don't play video games. However, if you do play them, even just a little bit, then shame on you for defending him!
The only reason he does rank in money from all of his crappy movies is because of when he releases them. You heard wrong about the box office thing. I don't know the whole layout about it but Mr. Boll found a loop hole where he can rake in alot of cash EVEN if the box office doesnt.
sorry for this long comment/rant but I find it a sin to, even a little bit, defend a man who is bent on ruining the chances of better people to make video game movies.
There deffinately has been bad video game movies in the past. But I can stomach them a little for one reason: At least those people tried to make a good movie with their mentally challenged brains. Uwe Boll doesn't try at all. He might as well just say "Action!" without giving the cast time to rehearse thier 3-page scripts.
10. Iambananas - June 18, 2006 3:48 PM
Is that Burt Reynolds?
11. roswell - June 18, 2006 11:23 PM
i just looked up the cast on imdb and and now i need a new pair of underwear because i violently soiled myself when i saw all the big or semi-big name actors in this:
Jason "the transporter" Statham
John "gimli" Rhys-Davies
Ray Liotta
Matthew Lillard
Leelee Sobieski
Burt Reynolds
Ron Perlman
Claire Forlani
Kristanna Loken
i think the joke's on us. he can't possibly think his movies are good. he's just rolling around with his money and hookers and laughing at us for pointing out what he already knows. he's the smartest man ever.
also he's an asshole
12. gravitybee - June 19, 2006 2:21 PM
lord of the rings sucks. why is this even posted?