Apr 13 2006New Shots from Superman Returns
Warner Brothers has released some new images from the hotly anticipated Superman Returns. I've heard that all art is either vaginal or phallic, and there's never been a better example than here. The deep, vertical hole Luthor approaches through is clearly vaginal, reminiscent of the anatomy of the female, while the shot of Brandon Routh as Clark Kent is obviously phallic, since he looks like kind of a dick running around in a vest like that.
Large versions and one more after the jump.
Apr 13 2006New Mission: Impossible III Art
The boys down at the studio have released the horizontal art for Mission: Impossible III. Since it's long, you can print it out and finally make that Tom Cruise belt you've been asking for. The one where he's sliding so hard that sparks are shooting out. See Cruise looking like a confused running robot on the bus shelter art under the cut. Or just wait to see it at the bus shelter. There's no shame in that.
Apr 13 2006District B13 Trailer
The French action flick District B13 is coming on June 2, so until then, watch this trailer for it. This movie is a good example of how America's policies differ from the French. To them, it's apparently completely appropriate to send two police officers in to stop a large gang that's acquired a nuclear warhead, while to us that's ridiculous. You only need one cop: Steven Segal. Have you heard the saying, too many cooks spoils the stew? The same goes for jumpkicks. Sure, Segal may dress like a matador, but when you're talking about a gang with nuclear weapons, there's only one guy to turn to. And while I won't say the movie needs Steven Segal to work, I will say that when the trailer ended, I felt a "ponytail emptiness" that I'd never experienced before.
Apr 12 2006Wonder Woman Casting Rumor: Nadia Bjorlin
The latest casting rumor regarding the hot superhero property Wonder Woman, is that Days of Our Lives soap star Nadia Bjorlin is up for the lead. For those that aren't familiar with her character, she's not the one who was possessed by the Devil, or the serial killer, or the one who looked just like a dead character, but was just facially reconstructed to look that way, but it turned out maybe was her after all, and it's not "Stefano." She's the other one.
Personally, I'm glad they're looking at a soap star to play the part. She'll really be able to nail the part when Wonder Woman's husband sleeps with her evil twin sister, who's really her dead kid in a costume.
Apr 12 2006X-Men: The Last Stand Features Beast Hanging
Worried that X-Men 3 will be flat? Dull? Not so, says this picture. These are multi-layered characters, with interesting idiosyncrasies, it cries. Beast doesn't just sit like a person to read--he hangs upside-down! This movie is practically a Garden State, these characters are so quirky!
What's strangest to me about this picture is how showing it to people didn't freak them out, but God forbid if they walk in on me hanging upside-down, they sure freak the hell out. Haven't you heard how hanging like that can extend your life? Is it so weird? Was it just because I was naked and smelling that baggy of pubic hair I bought on a street in Calcutta? I can stop that part.
Apr 12 2006The Today Show Keeps Matt Lauer
If you're like me, when Katie Couric announced she would be leaving the Today Show, there were a few days where you didn't eat, woke up in cold sweats, yelled at dogs, and prayed, above all else, that you wouldn't lose the rest of the team that, between live Amy Grant performances and specials on what-to-wear, occasionally reported news. Well, worry no longer, folks. Matt Lauer has agreed to a contract extension to keep him at the desk for at least another five years. Meaning five more spectacular years of "Where in the World is Matt Lauer?" and "I'm Going Bald So I'll Get a Buzzcut." Thank God. I'm not me without an hour of Lauer each morning.
Earlier last week, it was announced Meredith Vieiera would be taking over for Couric, opening a spot on The View for Star Jones to expand into. She's like a goldfish.
Apr 11 2006Xmen: The Last Stand's Multiple Man Revealed
The newest picture from X-Men: The Last Stand gives us the first look at the mutant Multiple Man, who, as the picture implies, is able to replicate himself. Nothing too shocking has been done with the look of the character, but I have a feeling fans will be surprised by the content of this pivotal scene:
Multiple Man: Hey, Mystique! I'm gonna need this many guys to get up on that big ol' ass of yours!
Magneto: Shit!
End of film.
Apr 11 2006Peaceful Warrior Trailer
From the movie, based on the best-selling novel Way of the Peaceful Warrior, comes the trailer for Peaceful Warrior. And believe me, you're probably going to want to see this more than committing to either of the prior tasks. From what I could gather, the plot is as follows: After a career-ending motorcycle accident, a popular male gymnast, with the help of a 100-year-old Nick Nolte, learns that there's more to the world of competitive gymnastics than the partying, popularity, and success with women. There's also all the embarrassing, kind of gay parts, that you have to try to hide. Like wearing little spandex leotards and flipping around on mats with some other guys.
Apr 11 2006Mission: Impossible III Laugh Reel
Just when I was starting to think maybe I'd check out Mission: Impossible III, the makers have shown me a reason not to: a "laugh reel." While I'm sure the idea of a "laugh reel" sounded great while it was being extracted from Dick Clark's dying brain, seeing writer/director J.J. Abrams acting like someone from the Friars Club while Tom Cruise laughs like an idiot makes me realize that I'd never want to see anything either of the two have produced. Besides in ten years, when I'll want to see Cruise's kid being brought down from a clock tower, where he's been picking people off with a rifle for just under an hour.
Apr 10 2006The Zodiac Trailer
Since no one at all is getting sick of "psychological thrillers" (they're like horror but with less monsters and breasts, but more serial killers), they've gone ahead and made a trailer to promote another one. Zodiac tells the semi-true of the Zodiac Killer and a father and son who become obsessed with finding him. I'm convinced it will do for the psychological thriller genre what Sanford and Son did for the junk store dealer genre, in that they both have fathers and sons. Since the Zodiac Killer was known for his complex codes, I thought I'd try my hand at the same. It LoOkS TeRribLe!
Apr 10 2006John Tucker Must Die Trailer
The popularity divining rod for kids, MySpace, has the trailer for the upcoming teen comedy John Tucker Must Die. The story is about three high school girls out to get revenge on the most popular guy in school for his infidelities, possibly even to the point of murder-- sort of a 9 to 5 for high schoolers. It looks like your standard teen comedy, except I'm a bit confused about how they portray John Tucker as "cool" by showing that he was able to wear a woman's thong to school. If wearing women's underwear were all it took to be cool in high school, I would have been double-cool! (I wore panties and a bra).
Apr 10 2006An Inconvenient Truth Trailer
What makes the trailer for An Inconvenient Truth so intriguing? Is it the charts and graphs? Could it be the photographs of lakes and mountains? Or is it simply Al Gore's monotone lecturing? It's too close to call. You can judge for yourself at Moviefone, where the trailer is now up. As for me, this is the Powerpoint presentation I'm most looking forward to this year.
