Apr 7 2006New Nacho Libre Trailer
JoBlo got their hands on an exclusive trailer for Nacho Libre, the newest from Napoleon Dynamite director Jared Hess, Jack Black, and School of Rock writer Mike White. There's not much new footage, but something about it seems more "on" this time. Still, something's stopping me from getting too excited about this one. I try to remember, now matter how good it may look, even Hitler probably seemed pretty appealing at first, and look what he became. You wouldn't trust a re-animated Hitler, would you? After that whole Holocaust fiasco? If you're like me, the answer is a resounding, "probably not."
Apr 7 2006I Am a Sex Addict Trailer
I hadn't heard of I Am a Sex Addict until seeing the trailer, but it looks pretty great. Here's the description:
Autobiographical filmmaker Caveh Zahedi has made a cult career of his unabashed willingness to be vulnerable on camera. I Am a Sex Addict, a comic reconstruction of his ten-year struggle with sex addiction, is one of his most ambitious, hilarious confessions yet.
Hopefully, in addition to providing some laughs, this movie will give others, possibly even some women, the courage to admit they have a sex addiction. Then, those women should send me their addresses, a few Polaroids, and an availability schedule. Or at least send me some pornography. Anyone.
Apr 7 2006Sharon Stone Directing Basic Instinct 3?
After Basic Instinct 2 opened at 10th, a spot below The Shaggy Dog, I can't imagine anyone would possibly fund another. But my current favorite crazy, Sharon Stone, is sure hoping so. The nutcase has said that there's already a script, and she's set to direct:
There's a script for the next part of the story - but I would like to direct it rather than star in it. It will be filmed in the UK again as the setting is more intense and gritty.
I guess it's like they say, "if you can't convince them to constantly show your open, wating vagina, just do it yourself, so you can show all the sweet old lady hoo-hah you want."
Apr 6 2006The Da Vinci Code Poster
A new one-sheet for Ron Howard's adaptation of The Da Vinci Code has been released, showing off stars Tom Hanks and Audrey Tautou. I hope you like it, because if you ever somehow become a Terminator, everything will look like this.
Apr 6 2006Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby Poster
Columbia Pictures has shown the new poster for the August 4 release of Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby. With Adam McKay and Will Ferrell, the minds behind Anchorman involved, along with the addition of John C. Reilly and Sacha Baron Cohen, this is the NASCAR film I'll be looking forward to this summer. Unless another one comes out that exposes how racers are coating their tires with ground-up babies for extra speed, because someone needs to crack NASCAR's dirty little secret.
Apr 6 2006X-Men: The Last Stand Television Spots
The handsome Latinos at Latino Review have scored the three new television spots for X-Men 3, for those who forgot to tape American Idol, House M.D. and ESPN (in general). After watching all three, I've created what I believe will be the definitive plot summary of the third film:
Magneto goes to the woods.
A bridge falls.
Angel shows off how he has wings.
The X-Men stand in a row.
Juggernaut runs through a wall.
Some mutants make out.
Something explodes while Wolverine smokes.
I'm wondering how many times they're going to show that shot of Wolverine smoking with the explosion behind him. Probably until I stop reacting with, "Motherfucker! Did everyone see that sweet explosion? That shit was blowing up! And Wolverine was still all cool-like, just chillin' with a cigar! He knows what's up. That shit is tiiiiiiight." Then I make sound effects of explosions and his claws coming out for the rest of the night.
Apr 6 2006Pan's Labyrinth Stills
Dark Horizons has posted some new shots from Guillermo Del Toro's horror flick, Pan's Labyrinth, and it still looks creepy as hell. Except for this guy with the horns, who seems kind of apologetic. While the freak with the eyes on his hands is freaking people out, this guy's busy trying to make amends. "Hey, I'm sorry about my friend, guys. He gets this way when he drinks. And by 'this way,' I mean this way."
Apr 5 2006Charlotte's Web Teaser Trailer
A teaser trailer has been released for the big screen adaptation of the classic E.B. White children's book Charlotte's Web. Since it's just a teaser, not a lot is revealed, but you do get a look at the starring animals and the famous voices lent to them, including Julia Roberts, Robert Redford, and my darling Oprah. Sadly, missing from the trailer was my personal favorite talking animal, Kirstie Alley.
Apr 5 2006Silent Hill Character Shots
Though I admittedly know fairly little about the source material, I've become completely obsessed with seeing what disgusting freaks they're going to bring out for the Silent Hill movie. Now, on the official site, they've posted shots of several characters I hadn't yet seen in stills, such as "The Nurses" and "The Janitor."
In addition to the stills, Sony has also converted the images into wallpapers and printable iPod skins. While I think it's nice of them to offer up these extras, couldn't they have put some more thought into the iPod skins? Look at the "Red Pyramid" one. Once the sections have been cut out for the iPod screen and scroll wheel, you're just left with the image of an arm and part of a torso. The "Dahlia" skin is just some clumpy hair. It's probably better that way, though, so when someone wants to beat you up for having some nerdy Silent Hill iPod skin, you can pretend it's a picture of Bob Marley instead. If they ask which picture, say it's the one where he's smoking a joint.
Apr 5 2006Video Diary for "Hot Stuff" May Be Confused for "Hot Fuzz"
UPDATE: It turns out I don't pay attention a lot of the time, so the reason this video blog was irrelevant to Hot Fuzz was because it's for Hot Stuff. Whoops! This is that kind of lesson that teaches me to "read full titles," like the lessons that teach me to "check for appropriate genitalia." Still, that's some Hot Stuff, eh?
You can get the actual third Hot Fuzz video HERE. Seriously, I don't know how I mixed up the links.
Apr 4 2006See Some Clips from Brick
Focus Features has put up some clips from Rian Johnson's Brick online, starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Lukas Haas, and a kid who's seen Everything is Iluminated too many times. I've heard nothing but good talk about this film, usually hearing that it's a well-done update of the old film noirs, but I'll continue to refer to it as looking, "like those stories Snoopy typed," because I only understand movies in relation to Peanuts cartoons.
Apr 4 2006Sharon Stone Talks Total Recall and Specialist Sequels
Does Sharon Stone have more sequels in the works? She seems to hope so. Speaking at the premiere of Basic Instinct 2, the actress revealed to a fan that a second Total Recall may be in the works and that she's talked of making a sequel to The Specialist.
She said she thinks the company that made the first "Total Recall" might be doing one, but that she won't be in it because her character is dead. "I would have loved to of though". She said she's talked to Sly Stallone, though, about doing a "Specialist" sequel a couple of times.
Come on, Sharon. I think we all know that your character being dead won't be what stops you from making another Total Recall. Your negotiations are all based on the amount of cooter you get to show--the more the better. For a Total Recall sequel, you'd probably only ask for pubes, but come time for The Mighty 2, and your demands skyrocket, bringing to audiences the first big screen hysterectomy. I'm actually hoping you make a The Specialist sequel, because I've been dying to get a peek at those old ovaries.
Apr 4 2006Lonely Island Crew Making a Movie
The Andy Samberg and the rest of the guys from the comedy group The Lonely Island, who recently made news for joining the cast of SNL and creating the short that became an Internet sensation, "Lazy Sunday," are set to star-in and direct a script by South Park writer Pam Brady:
The Paramount Pictures project centers on an accident-prone daredevil (Samberg) who plans to jump the Snake River on a moped to emulate his hero Evel Knievel in order to win over his hard-to-please stepfather. The studio is eyeing a July start.
Someone will have to tell me if I should be excited about this. I've heard that their shorts are pretty funny, but I still haven't gotten to watching any of them. I'm actually a decade behind on all of my Internet sensations. I just finished watching an animation emulating a road sign, telling me that a webpage is "under construction." It's crazy because webpages aren't constructed that way. By the end of tonight, I'm hoping to finish watching some kid swinging a broom around like a lightsaber, if my sides would only stop aching from this hilarious dancing baby.
Apr 3 2006The Simpsons Movie Teaser Trailer
Shown with Ice Age 2 and on Fox last night, a teaser for the currently in-production The Simpsons movie revealed that the release date for the film is July 27, 2007. Who's not excited about this one, eh? I just wish they'd made this a decade ago, when the show was in its prime, instead of now, when I'm ten years older. Man, back then I was really something. Getting pussy every night, rolling in money, crazy on drugs, and the pussy. Now I'm living mostly in the stock room of a Circuit City, and the only pussy I get is in the medical illustrations I secretly cut out of some teenager's anatomy textbook. If this movie doesn't cheer me up, I'll probably end up making a half-hearted attempt at killing myself, just for the attention.
Apr 3 2006Clerks 2 Internet Exclusive Trailer
An Internet exclusive trailer for Clerks 2 has gone up on the official site, showing a lot more of the movie than the teaser. As much as I think Kevin Smith needs to move beyond his little nerdy, self-referential world, I have to give him credit where credit is due: nice job with the boobs. The trailer gives us Rosario Dawson dancing around in a tank top, then some other lady in a sheer bra lifting her shirt. It amounts to about the same sexual content as a Sears catalog, but in motion-- a concept I've been asking for as a movie for years, so who am I to complain?
And is it just me, or has age turned Dante into David Brent?
Apr 3 2006Boa Thai Film Posters
Asia is ahead of us in so many areas. For example: mathematics, video games, and snake aviation movies. While America gets all all up-in-arms for a movie about some snakes on a plane, in Thailand they've got this giant fucking boa taking down a helicopter by crushing it. How embarrassing for us.
See the other poster, where a snake eats a woman whole, after the jump.
