Mar 20 2006Snakes on a Plane Footage is Amazing
Look at this footage for Snakes on a Plane and try not to agree that you've "had it with these snakes." You think they're just on the ground, in holes, in some high weeds, things like that, right? Not in this case. This is going to sound absolutely crazy, you might not believe it at first, but these particular snakes are actually on a plane. It's a tough issue to deal with; it's close-quarters up there, and snakes aren't traditionally found on planes. No one knows how to deal with them... except one badass fucker named Sam Jackson (this may or may not be his name in the movie).
This biggest mistake I see in this movie isn't the ridiculous plot, or even that the effects look like they're painted by Bob Ross, but that the stewardess is fighting the snakes by cutting them apart. Doesn't she know that cutting a snake in half just makes two snakes, each as deadly as the first? You need to make sure you kill them or they'll use math against you, specifically multiplication. The one exception is constrictors, which, even if they continue to multiply as you cut them apart, will eventually become small enough that they can't constrict you. Still, why leave anything to chance? Treat them like a parking lot rapist and use a Taser, like Samuel L. Jackson does.
NOTE: The website will ask you to "Sign Up Now & Add Snakes on a Plane as a Friend." Snakes on planes should not be considered friends, under any circumstances.
Reader Comments
1. conceitedhipster - March 20, 2006 11:59 AM
Painted by Bob Ross. That's crucial.
2. thebor - March 20, 2006 12:31 PM
That can't be real, someone made this up right.
What did they offer Sam J any way....one bazillion dollars. And he said Hell Yeah!
Wow Hollywood is offically out of ideas.
3. pixelbasic - March 20, 2006 1:13 PM
Come on Hollywood...you could have done much better with the dark comedy 'Snakes on a Soul Plane'.
4. xAgonyxScenex - March 20, 2006 1:47 PM
This is the funniest looking movie trailer i have ever seen XD
5. LB - March 20, 2006 2:47 PM
Holy shit, this movie is going into my "Cinema classics" collection right next to Starship Troopers 2.
6. Russell Wardlow - March 21, 2006 1:22 AM
Sigh. Not another Jane Austen adaptation.
(comment stolen from another thread)
7. hafaball - March 21, 2006 6:29 PM
Yes, this will be the greatest movie ever....if only the Godfather had more snakes!
8. Olichka - March 22, 2006 2:22 AM
Everything would be better with a bit more snakes.
9. MustangLaura - March 22, 2006 1:08 PM
Snakes Planes and Sam J ... Smells Like A Hit To Me! Oh Wait Thats My SpaghettiO's
10. The Virgin Mary - March 22, 2006 3:16 PM
I can't wait to see Samuel Jackson wearing a bonnet and traveling through the English countryside with Mr. Darcy. This is going to be soooooo good.
11. URalllosers - March 23, 2006 4:25 AM
Is this Sam Jacks new sex tape? Now I understand how he broke into show biz and the mile high club.