Mar 31 2006Underdog Finds Villain in Peter Dinklage
Peter Dinklage, the small star of The Station Agent, has been named as the villain in the big screen adaptation of the 1960's cartoon Underdog:
Peter Dinklage has signed on to play the bad guy in Walt Disney Pictures and Spyglass Entertainment's Underdog, reports Variety. The live-action version of the popular kids cartoon starts shooting April 10 in Rhode Island under the direction of Frederik Du Chau. Dinklage will portray Simon Barsinister, an evil scientist who once created a Big Dipper Machine in an effort to steal the world's water supply.
When I first read that Dinklage was going to star, I just assumed they'd throw him in a dog suit and make him play Underdog himself. Now that I've seen he'll be playing an actual person, I'm a little disappointed. They'll probably just use CG or an "Air Bud" to play the titular role, and that's a mistake. Using either of those isn't going to give you the raw emotions you'd get in a dwarf. Of course, a dwarf won't give you the raw emotions of a normal human either. Just as normies, in turn, would give less intense emotions than a giant. That's just the way acting works, and is why those with gigantism are going to continue sweeping the awards ceremonies until we do something to stop them.
Mar 31 2006Alien Autopsy Trailer is Real
I normally don't approve of alien autopsies. It's my firm belief that we shouldn't concern ourselves with the cause of death of an alien, only that they are actually dead, and not just waiting to jump up and scare us. However, I'm willing to make an exception after seeing the trailer for Alien Autopsy, which takes a new spin on the idea, and honestly looks pretty funny. The film tells the comedic story of the two friends that invented and executed the fake alien autopsy footage that became a media sensation and a television special on Fox in 1995. You may remember it best by its host: one Mr. Jonathan Frakes. That's right, I'm talking Riker, mo-fo's.
After this, someone should make a movie about how they made the Paris Hilton sex tape, because I'd like to see how that all went down, too. Though I imagine it would probably just be a twenty-minute short where she's bought four shots and told she doesn't look that much like a bird.
Mar 31 2006Tideland Trailer
Someone pointed out that aside from the impressive images of corpses, trees, and beekeeper gunmen, the trailer for Terry Gilliam's Tideland is available as well on the official site. From viewing it, the film looks completely strange, creepy, and and awe-inspiring--all the things that typically make Gilliam's movies so great. It seems even after the mediocrity of The Brothers Grimm, the great filmmaker we knew has returned. It feels like when my father finally returned home after having been gone for 12 years, no one knows where. Only, I hope, unlike my father, Gilliam won't just grab his leather "Taz" jacket and leave before I can get down the stairs to see him.
Mar 30 2006Tideland Photos: Including Corpses!
If you didn't already want to see Terry Gilliam's Tideland, you're going to after you see these images. What is it that makes us always want to see any movie with a rotting corpse with amber eyes and its mouth stitched shut? Probably the same thing that makes us want to masturbate to department store mannequins instead of forming any meaningful relationships. It's just one of those quirks that makes us human.
See more here, compliments of Russia. They've won this battle, but we won the Cold War, and the blue jeans war.
Mar 30 2006Hott Fuzz Video Blog #2
The continuing video blog, following the making of the new Simon Pegg/Edgar Wright action/comedy Hot Fuzz, has added its second chapter, in which Wright discusses the film a bit. There's nothing too amazing--it's mostly an introduction to the film, with some bits on the difficulties of directing--but since it's the makers of the Shaun of the Dead, I felt it needed to be promoted. Until they show me otherwise, I'll assume the quality of, and promote anything they make. If they make a house, I'm their real estate agent. If they make a car, I'll do the crash tests, set-up a dealership, and send you home in one with rust protection. If they make a child, I'll sneak into their home in the dead of night, cover the child's mouth with a chemical-covered rag, get that kid on a plane, and deliver him or her (they'd prefer a girl) to a waiting family in New England. It's just my way.
Mar 30 2006Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Davey Jones' Ship
Check out these photos of Davey Jones' bad-ass ship from Pirates of the Caribbean 2. It's your classic pirate ghost ship. It's got this big mouth and it's covered in all these bodies. Kind of like your mom! That's right, I went there.
See close-ups after the jump. You're going to want to see the detail in this woodworking. Immaculate.
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Mar 29 2006Full Spider-Man 3 Plot Revealed?
With no explanation as to its origin, the website Dark Horizons has posted a fairly comprehensive plot outline for Spider-Man 3. While a lot of the information given was already known or assumed, many of the details I think have been unconfirmed or missing altogether until now, such as the presence and origins of certain villains, their roles, and the timeline of events. So if you don't mind hearing some possible spoilers, go ahead and read the summary here.
It's not that I don't believe this is the plot, I'd just like a little more proof before I buy into it. It's like if a woman insists that you're her "baby's daddy," you'd want Maury Povich to show you a paternity test first, right? Fine, so maybe it turns out you are the father. So what? You just wanted a little proof. So you can stop calling me, alright, Debbie? I'll give you your fucking money.
Mar 29 2006First Shots from Marilyn Manson's Phantasmagoria
The first shots from Marilyn Manson's Louis Carroll story, Phantasmagoria, have arrived, giving some glimpses of the creepy style of the picture. The shots are intentionally pretty vague and often out-of-focus, but this revealing shot of Alice looks like kiddy porn. So for now, I'll give it an "A-".
More after the jump.
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Mar 29 2006Marie-Antoinette Looks Beautiful
Sophia Coppola's Marie-Antoinette, her take on the life of the young queen, looks so gorgeous, dense, and well-composed in this shot, it makes me wonder if this isn't just a painting. It also makes me wonder about that Internet video where the guy lets the horse have sex with him, which is why I stopped looking at this image.
NOTE: To think it's an old painting, you have to ignore the balding man in the hoody to the left.
Mar 28 2006John Travolta's Nephew to Play Thor?
In more superhero casting news, Rikki Lee Travolta, nephew of John Travolta, is rumored to have been cast in the title role of the Marvel Comics adaptation of Thor:
The Broadway, New York star, who was among those considered to play JAMES BOND after producers decided to dump PIERCE BROSNAN, has been a favourite to play the Nordic hero for some time - and now it appears he will star in the project.
I honestly thought we'd reached the point where wig technologies would allow us to base casting on something other than having the appropriate hair length. If this rumor is true, this man was clearly chosen entirely for his being a long-haired douche bag. I'll have to keep my eyes peeled to Rikki Lee's official site, Travoltanet, to find out of there's an official statement, as well as to boost my own self-confidence.
As bad as this casting might be, let's try to put aside our own feelings to recognize some who may be taking it even worse. Such as the little girl from Adventures in Babysitting.
Mar 28 2006Poseidon ShoWest Reel
For those that couldnt make the ShoWest convention, the ShoWest reel, featuring new scenes from Poseidon, is now available online. The footage shows a lot of drowning, falling, and Kurt Russell, so if you have fears of any of the three, I'd recommend averting your eyes. For that matter, I'm going to add that you also shouldn't watch if you have a fear of Patrick Swayze. He's not in this, but he had the same haircut as Kurt Russell for a long time, so you might confuse the two, like I do.
Mar 28 2006Be a Part of Who Wants to be a Superhero?
Have you always wanted to be a superhero? Now you might have the chance, loser. SciFi is now accepting applications for Stan Lee's new reality show Who Wants to be a Superhero? (kudos to them for still trying to cash in on Who Wants to be a Millionaire?):
In nationwide open casting calls, potential heroes will arrive in costume to prove their mettle — revealing the true nature of their superhuman abilities and invoking the noble credos by which they live. Make no mistake, you don't have to love comic books to be the superhero we're looking for. If you have a great imagination, love adventure, and have a hero hiding inside of you, we want you on this show. Students, teachers, firemen, soccer moms — you're all invited to try out to see if you've got what it takes. From thousands of hopefuls, Stan Lee will choose 11 lucky finalists to move into a secret lair and compete for the opportunity to become a real-life superhero.
I have no idea what they mean by competing for the chance to "become a real-life superhero," since I don't think the SciFi Channel actually has the capabilities to do that, but I'm guessing it will involve a lot of public ridicule. This theory is further supported by original name for the show, National Wedgie.
Mar 27 2006An American Haunting Trailer
The trailer for An American Haunting was released this weekend. It's looks like another shock-you-to-death horror, but this one's trying to set itself apart by bragging that it documents the true story of the only documented case of "death by spirit" in U.S. history. What takes away from the believability for me, though, is that it's set in the 1800's. They blamed almost everything on the supernatural back then. I'd imagine that attributing the death to a spirit was probably just as a substitute for witches, which had been overused to the point of suspicion. The scene in the police department probably went something like this:
Lieutenant: Detective Johnson, about this last murder...
Johnson: Yes, sir?
Lieutenant: I noticed you, again, called this one a "witching."
Johnson: Yes, sir. I'll try to get the wench drowned by sundown.
Lieutenant: Right, right. Don't get me wrong, you've been doing a great job catching witches. Your methods--the weighings, drownings, blind accusations--they're all top notch. It's just that you've been calling a lot of murders witching lately. The last 30, actually. People are beginning to talk that maybe--and I don't believe this--you're just not bothering to investigate anything. I mean, the last murder several people actually witnessed. And it appears you still blamed the death on witching, then drowned the witnesses as "accompwitches," which I acknowledge as being clever, but still. Do you see what I'm saying?
Johnson: Spirits then?
Lieutenant: I'll buy it. Carry on, Johnson.
Mar 27 2006Samuel L. Jackson to Narrate March of the Penguins Spoof
As a thematic sequel to Snakes on a Plane (the theme being "shit"), Samuel L. Jackson will narrate a parody of the film March of the Penguins, which will mix archival wildlife footage with an R-rated script written by Bob Saget. Saget went on to explain that he got the idea for the film while watching March of the Penguins at a friend's house, as he kept unwillingly doing voices for the birds:
I couldn't stop doing the voice-overs of the penguins, reminiscent of when I did those animal voices on that video show back in the day.
The moral of this story? It turns out watching a movie with Bob Saget is even worse than I could have ever imagined.
Mar 27 2006Tony Danza Show Won't Return
Tony Danza has now officially said The Tony Danza Show, the "extravadanza" that got America up each morning, will likely not return to television this fall:
Advising viewers to "enjoy the rest of the run," Mr. Danza said his personal effort to find a clearance in New York for the fall, which he discussed on the air on Monday, had failed. "We are going to finish real strong and enjoy what we have left," he said.
In memorial, I'd like to reflect on some of my favorite moments from his hit show. Such as...
...The time Mona dated a man half her age.
...Samantha covering her hickey with a scarf
...When Tony and Angela finally got together.
...The part in the intro where he's playing baseball.
That's all I can remember.
