Mar 17 2006Mission: Impossible III Trailer Online
The Mission: Impossible III trailer hit the Internet today, and boy is it a disappointment. The footage looked to be mostly shots already seen in the teaser and the Japanese trailer. But there's one thing that definitively sets this trailer apart from the Japanese one: this one's American. Watching this trailer is the new yellow ribbon magnet on the back of your mini-van; if you don't watch it, you're promoting terrorism. Trust me, Osama bin Laden does not want you seeing how awesome it is when an explosion slams super-agent Ethan Hunt into a parked car, shattering the windows. It's practically another downed building for every person that doesn't see how sweet it is when Philip Seymour Hoffman threatens to hurt Tom Cruise's wife/girlfriend. A U.S. troop is shot for every person that doesn't think it's cool when Cruise commands that some sports car is blown up at the push of a button. So, please, view this trailer. America is depending on it.
Or see Big Momma's House 2. She's twice the size, meaning twice the laughs!
Mar 17 2006Poseidon Trailer Released
The folks at ComingSoon.net have done the courtesy of posting the trailer for Wolfgang Petersen's disaster-adventure Poseideon, in which the trapped passengers of ship try desperately to escape the sinking vessel. I don't want to give away too much of the plot, but I think I just gave away the entire plot. Except it's also got Richard Dreyfuss!
Mar 17 2006The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift Trailer
For all those interested in either the fast or the furious, the trailer for The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift is now online. The film tells the story of a hot-headed American street racer forced to move to Tokyo with his father to avoid jail time. There, the racing underground is dominating by "drifting," in which the cars are light and the tires are slick, allowing the cars to slide around the streets making amazing turns. "Actor" Lil' Bowwow describes it this way: "If you ain't outta control, you ain't in control," which is much catchier than what I said, and the reason I consider him our generation's Confucius. In the end, it appears that, of course, the brash American wins both the race and the girl, stealing her from the previous "Drift King," and proving that the U.S. still thinks it can beat Japan at anything. Except math. They're still getting us there. And probably tentacle sex enthusiasm. But goddammit if I'm not trying for that one.
Mar 16 2006Cars Poster Has a Lot of Cars
Ain't It Cool News snagged the newest poster for Pixar's Cars, and quite frankly it scares me. Previous images of this movie looked pretty goofy and friendly, while this one appears to be some kind of violent car mob. If there were ever a "car revolt," this is the image that would be on the front page of the papers. Except they'd probably have torches and pitchforks and things, to look more mob-like. And maybe a few would have penises sticking out of their front bumper, just because I think that would be really terrifying when it's driving at you.
Mar 16 2006Benicio Del Toro to Play Wolf Man
To further the continuing chain of unnecessary Hollywood remakes, Universal has decided to update the Lon Chaney horror classic The Wolf Man, with Benicio Del Toro playing the title role.
Seven scribe Andrew Kevin Walker has begun writing the script. Scott Stuber, Rick Yorn, Mary Parent and Del Toro will produce. Like the 1941 original that starred Lon Chaney Jr., new pic will be set in Victorian England. Del Toro will play a man who returns from America to his ancestral homeland, gets bitten by a werewolf and begins a hairy moonlight existence.
To prepare himself for the role, Del Toro will continue looking like a creepy wolf man.
Mar 15 2006Penelope Gives Christina Ricci Pig Face
JustJared posted some pictures of Christina Ricci on the set of Penelope. In the new movie, Christina Ricci suffers a curse that gives her the face of a pig. Also, in real life.
Mar 15 2006Ghost Rider Production Artwork
Superhero Hype has posted some new painted artwork from Mark Steven Johnson's sure-to-be-awful Ghost Rider. The paintings aren't labeled as specific scenes, but they may give us a peek into what awaits in the film. Such as standard Ghost Rider having a land race with Zorro Ghost Rider. And I think we all know who wins that battle. The American public.
More after the jump.
Mar 15 2006Bond Girls Looking Good
I'm getting sick of shots of new Bond Daniel Craig holding guns and looking stupid. Luckily there's finally one of him looking stupid with Bond girls Eva Green and Caterina Murino playing Vesper Lynd and Solonge, respectively. Regardless of how bad Casino Royale might be, at least the girls look good here. Even if the pre-humanoid in the center is using them as clubs.
Mar 14 2006Lucasfilm Update: Star Wars on TV, Indy 4, Red Tails
Speaking last night at the Sony Ericsson Empire Awards (which mean absolutely nothing), producer Rick McCallum provided an update of the current Lucasfilm projects. Speaking about a Star Wars television series, McCallum claims the show will provide the dark, character-based drama fans were looking for in the prequels:
That's not going to happen probably for another year and a half while we develop scripts and everything else. But it's fantastic; we've got some incredible writers. It's going to be much darker, much more character-based, and I think it's going to be everything the fans always wanted the prequels to be. They'll be one-hour episode. It takes place between Episodes III and IV. It's going to be all-new characters, maybe a few bounty hunters in there to start the series off.
The subject then turned to George Lucas's WWII fight film Red Tails and Indiana Jones 4, to which McCallum says there is now a finished script:
We're working on Red Tails right now. George is writing the script as we speak. He's just finished the Indiana Jones script, and Steven's having that rewritten and a few things done. And then we start hopefully in October or November looking for another writer for Red Tails when George puts together his ideas of what he wants it to be. Then hopefully next year we'll start on that.
Interesting to hear a concrete update on Indiana Jones, but what really interests me are the details of the Star Wars television series. If it's everything he claims, it could bring back some respect to the saga that was lost in the prequels. Then again, it doesn't involve guessing how much money is in a suitcase with Howie Mandel, so how good could it really be?
Mar 14 2006Angelina Jolie Wanted for Sin City 2
While it's been rumored for a while that Angelina Jolie was being sought after for a role in the next Sin City film, Rosario Dawson has now confirmed that director Robert Rodriguez is looking to cast the actress as the lead, saying:
The film's been kind of postponed because Robert has been interested in Angelina Jolie for the lead. But she's very pregnant right now. So that's putting an understandable hold on the film.
This seems like the most obvious casting possible. With her full lips and curves, she already looks more like a Frank Miller babe than anyone in the previous cast. While Rodriguez will use the pregnancy down-time to further prepare for shooting, Jolie will use the break to adopt four more kids and ruin another marriage.
Mar 14 2006Dirty Dozen Remake Coming
Warner Bros. announced they will be making a contemporary version of the 1967 action flick The Dirty Dozen. Con-Air writer Scott Rosenberg will team with Alias writer/producers Andre Nemec and Josh Applebaum to pen the script. Producer Susan Downey told Variety:
Scott had been hesitant in the past to do a remake of a known title, but they all felt that a modern version could make for a high-testosterone, fun, big movie. We're giving this version a personal stake. The mission isn't about finding gold or weapons or blowing up a castle. There is a personal element to it.
I'm normally pretty hesitant about updated remakes of classic films, but for this one I'll reserve my judgement. At least until they announce if Martin Lawrence will be playing all of the roles with different makeup, because I bet the "Big Mama" style character would be hilarious.
Mar 13 2006James Bond's Dad Defends Him
How sad is it when your parents have to defend your casting in a motion picture? Ask Daniel Craig. His father, speaking to the Sunday Mirror, denied rumors that the actor is afraid of guns, cars, boats, and anything else that has trade shows:
"It is all cobblers," he says, of reports that Daniel is terrified of speed boats, can only drive automatic cars and got his knocked out in his first fight while filming Casino Royale. "Daniel is a hard lad - you wouldn't want to meet him in a dark street. Is he a wimp? No, I wouldn't like to call him that to his face. As for the idea he doesn't like guns... when he was younger he would play with a toy gun like any other boy."
So there you go. Everyone can stop criticizing Daniel Craig now, since his father has said it's "all cobblers." If this goes half as well as when my mom came to school and said I couldn't shower in gym class due to a medical condition, he'll only have to deal with three wedgies and half of a severe beating, cruelly performed in the very gym shower I refused to use.
Mar 13 2006Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon Sequels, Prequels
In news you would have thought would happen six years ago, the Weinsteins have decided to cash-in on the success of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon by buying the rights to the author's three prequels and one sequel. And they have equally goofy names!
The brothers have acquired the rights to the remainder of author Wang Du Lu's Crane-Iron Pentalogy which charts three generations of protagonists during the Qing dynasty and comprises Crane Frightens KunLun; Precious Sword, Golden Hairpin; Sword Spirit, Pearl Light; Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and Iron Knight, Silver Vase. The films will be Chinese language and word is that Ang Lee will be asked to come on board.
I understand they're trying to capitalize on Ang Lee's Brokeback Mountain fame, but why make more in a six-year-old Mandarin series? I mean, from what I recall, Brokeback was part of a multi-chapter story as well. They still have to do the sailor, the biker, the construction worker, the cop, and the Native American.
Mar 13 2006Brad Bird Directing Ratatouille
In a Disney shareholders meeting on Friday, it was announced that Brad Bird, award-winning writer/director of The Incredibles and The Iron Giant, would direct Pixar's next animation project, Ratatouille, the story of a skinny rat in a Parisian restaurant:
Pixar Animation Studios' Brad Bird will direct "Ratatouille," the computer-animated mouse tale that was developed in-house by the studio's Oscar-winning short-film director Jan Pinkava ("Geri's Game"). The deal was confirmed Friday at the Disney shareholders meeting in Anaheim. The story centers on a skinny rodent who fancies himself a gourmand and lives in a Parisian restaurant.
Bird is probably one of the most talented directors in Hollywood today. Even with how bad Cars looks, I have complete faith in this project now that it's in his capable hands. The only hands I've ever put more trust in are God's, but after allowing me to lose a bologna sandwich yesterday, even after several "sandwich prayers," someone's about to be bumped into the number two position, since, last I checked, Brad Bird hasn't let me lose any sandwiches, while God has let me lose at least four.
Mar 13 2006Little Man Trailer
I'm not sure how long this has been around, but somehow I'd missed that there's a trailer for the new Wayans Brothers film, Little Man. It's literally the worst thing I've ever seen. I hoped White Chicks would be the end of these guys. It seemed logical that a film where the running gag is that black guys are funny dressed as white girls would end a few careers. But somehow that's just given them carte blanche to make something even worse. Before watching this trailer, I challenge you to come up with the worst movie you could imagine, and I bet they topped you. My only catch is that you can't make your movie about a two-foot-tall criminal stealing a diamond and hiding it in a woman's purse, then posing as a child with an adult face so that he can live with her and her husband, having sex with her and beating up the husband, in the hopes of stealing it back. I can't tell you why, or it will ruin it.
Mar 13 2006Hellboy 2 is Golden Army
Speaking to Sci-Fi Wire about the sequel to Hellboy, star Ron Perlman revealed some bits concerning the plot, as well as the working title, Hellboy 2: The Golden Army:
It's a compendium of a lot of elements that they were not able to address in the first one, because the first one was kind of a slave to the backstory and who Hellboy is, how we come to find him, etc., etc. Now they can kind of branch out a little bit and get funky with it and hit some of the other colors that existed in some of the other comic books.
I'm not sure what the title "The Golden Army" implies about the story, but if the similarly titled films in my DVD collection are any indication, it's probably about a urine fetish.
