Mar 10 2006Tom Hanks and Son Playing Their Actual Relationship
Tom Hanks (Joe of Joe Versus the Volcano) and his son, King Kong's Colin Hanks, are set to play a father and son in the upcoming film The Great Buck Howard. Colin will play a young man who becomes a magician's assistant in the hopes of one take taking on the craft, while Tom plays his disapproving father. Kevin Kline is in talks to play the illusionist mentor. This might seem "safe," casting America's favorite actor and his son in the roles, but what makes it risky is that the father and son are constantly making out. Fine, they aren't.
Mar 10 2006Casino Royale Publicity Shots
A new batch of shots from the new Bond, Casino Royale, have been released here, including more of Daniel Craig as Bond, Judi Dench as M, and the one we've all been clamoring for: a woman in a bikini petting a horse (seriously).
Until these shots, I hadn't realized what a cretin Daniel Craig was. This is James Bond? Between his simian little ears, the low-hanging brow, and dumbfounded look, he looks genuinely de-evolved. The only way he can work in a Bond movie is if they make it in prehistoric caveman times with a Cro-Magnon Bond. And the best part still wouldn't be him, but when Q pulls out one of his amazing gadgets, and it's just fire, or a club, or a stone sharpened into a cutting tool, and we all laugh, because cavemen are stupid.
Mar 10 2006Pixar's Cars Trailer Online
After a big announcement, the trailer for Pixar's Cars has made its way online. I hadn't read a synopsis yet , so I'd been assuming from the racing footage I'd seen that it was about some race cars competing in a circuit, or something along those lines. It turns out it's about a big-city hot shot car having an accident in a country town, where he initially hates the small town mentality, but eventually questions his face-paced lifestyle when he falls for a beautiful, female resident.
Guess what Pixar? You made Doc Hollywood! That's right, the company that just yesterday I was praising for raising the bar for children's animation has now remade the semi-successful 1991 Michael J. Fox comedy, Doc Hollywood. And to think, I was worried about the footage I'd seen of Cars. If it's a "D.H." caliber movie, we should have nothing to worry about.
Mar 9 2006Classic Monty Python Interview Found
Some old footage of members of Monty Python doing an interview for a PBS affiliate has turned up after having been saved by an engineer for the studio, though a portion has now been taped over. Nothing amazing is revealed, but it's neat to see the boys in their prime, speaking on censorship, the origin of their name, and some other topics. The video lasts only about fourteen minutes and has been missing for over thirty years. "Sounds like your father," my mother whispered, then began sobbing into a pillow. I guess she was joking; my father has only been missing for twenty years.
Also, keep an eye out for the woman in the background who realizes how stupid she looks in the hat a couple minutes in, then start hamming it up. I'm looking to punch her.
Mar 9 2006Nacho Libre Video Diary Teaser
During the filming of Nacho Libre, Jack Black recorded a video diary that Quicktime is now releasing in short sections, two a week. In preparation, here's the teaser for the diaries. Normally I wouldn't get too excited about a preview for a video diary--sort of a supplement for a supplement--but this one's got Jack Black having his chest waxed. Up until now, all I've had is a picture of Jack Black's head pasted on the body of some other guy (he's Indian and possibly a dwarf) having his chest waxed, so you can see how this is a big upgrade for me. Now if someone would only get me a shot of Tony Danza shaving his legs, the collection would be complete.
Mar 9 2006Another New Silent Hill Image
Comingsoon.net got ahold of another new Silent Hill picture. When I first saw the image, my reaction was, "Sweet God, more Silent Hill freaks!" But as I looked more, it changed to, "Actually, maybe these guys aren't so bad. They might not be such freaks under the goggles and stuff." After that, I went through a few minutes of thinking, "The chasm that is their eyes goes deeper than any human soul could," followed by, "I can hear them whispering," then, "I think I took too many pills." Then I woke up in a tree, naked, save for some leaves and a dog I was wearing as a coat.
Mar 9 2006Over the Hedge Trailer
The full trailer for Dreamworks Animation's Over the Hedge is up at Yahoo! Movies, and it looks to be sort of a children's comedy with a message. In the same way Bambi said, "Hey, stop shooting deer mothers," Over the Hedge says, "Hey, stop building suburbs, rich white people." And, like Bambi, it looks boring. It's probably decent for kids, but in recent years Pixar has really raised the bar for children's animation, and this film doesn't look at all smart or interesting. It's particularly disappointing because they're wasting a great cast. With talent like Steve Carell, Garry Shandling, Bruce Willis and William Shatner, they could have done so much more. Like have them sit in a circle, shirtless, reading Garfield comics aloud to the camera. That would have probably been better than this.
Mar 8 2006The Fountain Stills
Some new shots from The Fountain have been posted, giving some visual details to the millennium spanning story. The shots don't really give too much away in terms of plot, except the assurance that we will see a conquistador and some natives, which are two of three* things that make any movie a "must see" in my book.
*The third is visible nipples.
Mar 8 2006New Silent Hill Image
Ain't It Cool News has a new image from the video game flick Silent Hill, adding another horrific creature to the already plentiful supply. If disgusting freaks were dollars, this movie would have a lot of gross, bloody dollars.
Mar 8 2006A Prairie Home Companion Trailer
Since an honorary Academy Award was awarded to Robert Altman on Sunday, the publicity on his upcoming A Prairie Home Companion has really been stepped-up. Yesterday was the poster, now see the trailer at the official site. The film looks like it really gets into the details of the production of a radio show, almost to the point where it might only be interesting to those who like old-timey radio.
It's like when Drumline came out, I heard some pretty positive things about it, but the fact that it's about competitive drumming is such a turn-off that I refuse to watch it. There's literally nothing on this earth that I have less interest in than competitive drumming. I might be able to invent something that doesn't exist that I'd be less interested in, but it would likely be pretty similar to competitive drumming. Similarly, I refuse to see Jurassic Park because I don't believe in dinosaurs or science.
Also, what the hell is SNL's Maya Rudolph doing in this? It's like all these big-name, award-winning actors, then a lady known for doing bad impressions of Beyonce. I can't say how she must have gotten this role, but I can say that she clearly gave hundreds of blowjobs to get this role.
Mar 7 2006X-Men: The Last Stand Trailer
Fox has finally released the trailer for the third chapter of X-Men, and I have to admit that there are definitely some cool looking parts. Angel takes flight, Magneto leads an army of evil mutants, some things explode; it's all looking much better than I anticipated. That said, I'm still completely skeptical of the quality of this movie. It's easy to show the good parts if you only have to fill a couple minutes. I've got the feeling that, like the husband in a Lifetime movie, this film will eventually show its true colors. Sure, Dean Cain seemed friendly when he was picking up the kids from school, and there's no denying he's handsome, but why does Tracey Gold suddenly have so many bruises on her arms? I know he seemed like the perfect husband in the first hour (save for the times a dramatic chord was played when he got aggravated), but he's got another side to him! Goddammit, Tracey, get the hell out now, while you still have time. There's a reason he never talks about his ex-wife, whom we saw in only a brief flashback: she's dead! I don't remember what I was originally talking about now, so I'll just return to watching Golden Girls.
Mar 7 2006A Prairie Home Companion Poster
Here's the poster for Robert Altman's A Prairie Home Companion. The film, written by Garrison Keillor, tells the story of a radio variety show that has survived in the days of television. The poster shows the film's all-star cast, but it still fails to compare to my own "Prairie Home Companion," the dirty hillbilly slut I found at a bar.
Mar 7 2006Japanese Mission: Impossible III Trailer
There's a new, exclusive Japanese trailer for Mission: Impossible III over at Moviefone. I was going to provide some commentary, but I think the boys down at Moviefone already covered it all when they said, "it's looking the opposite of 'Impossible' that this flick will be a mega-hit." Get it? It's like the name of the movie. It's the opposite of impossible that the flick will be a mega-hit. It's actually quite possible. The opposite... of impossible.
Mar 6 2006Even More Superman Returns
As the release of Superman Returns grows closer, it seems like they're releasing an absurd amount of images. It's to the point where if you don't want to see the movie, you can just caption the images and get the entire plot in the form of Family Circus comics. Superhero Hype has the latest batch, consisting mostly of shots of Clark Kent on the job. They're really doing a good job of making this movie look more exciting as time goes on. Because the cool parts of Superman aren't the heroic feats, but how he wears glasses and reads over people's shoulders sometimes.
Mar 6 2006Rocky Balboa Teaser Trailer
Listen up, ladies, this teaser's for you. Rocky Balboa has some sage wisdom on relationships for you, and it's all in this trailer. Quoth the boxer, "It ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit." And you know he means it. You can see it in his eyes.
UPDATE: It looks like it was taken down for copyright reasons. Just imagine this shot of his eyes with him rambling some bullshit and you'll get the gist of it.
Mar 6 2006Academy Awards Winners
I hope you caught the 78th Annual Academy Awards last night, because it was the best event to ever happen in all of history. Finally, something that recognizes how amazing celebrities are! But, if for some absurd reason you had to miss it, here are the major winners, along with my grandma's initial reactions.
Best Actor in a Leading Role: Philip Seymour Hoffman for Capote
Grandma: (Still referring to nominee, Joaquin Phoenix) "How would you spell that? Joaquin...Joaquin Phoenix. I just don't understand how that's a name."
Best Actress in a Leading Role: Reese Witherspooon for Walk the Line
Grandma: "Grandma used to look like Reese Witherspoons."
Best Actor in a Supporting Role: George Clooney for Syriana
Grandma: "Didn't see it. Wish I'd seen him. Very handsome man. Good-looking man."
Best Actress in a Supporting Role: Rachel Weisz for The Constant Gardener
Grandma: (Asleep)
Best Director: Ang Lee for Brokeback Mountain
Grandma: "They give them to 'orientals' now?"
Best Picture: Crash
Grandma: "I don't think I took my meds today."
